Love is a Farm in Ferelden
by Shinkshinkshink
Summary: An AU romance that takes place 3 years before the blight drove Marian and her family from Lothering. An escaped Tevinter slave finds himself in the company of a beautiful and kind young woman and her quirky family. She takes him in and teaches him that not all work is slavery and not everyone is out for blood. A collaborative work of fiction by JenniferHawke and Shinkshinkshink.
1. The Acorn Incident

**A/N This is a collaborate work of fiction written by the always fabulous JenniferHawke and yours truly. It is written in two different perspectives: Fenris and Marian Hawke. I will be writing the Fenris chapters and Jen will be writing the Marian chapters. Please keep that in mind if you decide to leave feedback. We decided to post it to my account since duplicates aren't allowed and I have more followers than her. **

**Please take a moment to follow/favorite/review JenniferHawke's stories. They're very fun and they include excellent smut scenes.**

** u/4481900/**

**-Shinkshinkshink**

**Fenris**

The Tevinters say that when you save someone, your lives become permanently intertwined. You are responsible for them, and they are indebted to you. This is one such story.

Fenris leaned his head against the wall and tried to drown out the sounds of drunken revelry with his thoughts. Although Lothering was not heavily populated or trafficked by tourists, the villagers were boisterous and loud and the patrons of Dane's Refuge were no exception to this rule. His head throbbed, but he could not afford a room. He could tell the barkeep Danal was staring at him again. He could feel his eyes upon him. It would only be an hour or so more at most before he would be "forced" to ask Fenris to leave, surrendering the vagrant elf to the humidity of the Fereldan summer air.

It was insufferably hot. Perhaps today would be the day that Fenris finally buckled and spent the night in the Chantry. It wasn't that he had anything against Andrasteans or even the Chantry itself. He just didn't care for all the proselytizing and preaching, all for one night's sleep and a hot meal. He could scarcely reconcile their worth with the trouble he would have to go through to get them, which is exactly why he typically camped out in the fields, when it was too dark for anyone to see him.

The chair on the opposite side of the table screeched across the wooden floor and when he opened his eyes to the awful sound, he was met with an intent gaze. One of the local girls. He'd noticed her staring a time or two before over the past week, but then, they all stared. He had that effect on people. He didn't give her much thought.

But now she was sitting before him with her raven, unkempt tress and her unapologetically blue eyes, and he had no choice but to acknowledge her existence. Pretty as she was, she was also an unwelcome intrusion. He scowled and said nothing, hoping she would find something better to do with her time than gawk at him.

She didn't, of course.

"Hello." she said. He ignored her. Eventually she would have to get bored and leave, he hoped. "What are you drinking?"

He furrowed his brow at her and gestured in front of him. He was drinking nothing, as indicated by the lack of mug, and his unfortunate case of sobriety. "What does it look like?"

"I'm sorry, perhaps I should have worded it better; what would you like to drink? I'm buying."

He snorted derisively. "Why?"

She cocked her head gently to the side and smiled. "Because it suits me. Do I need a better reason?"

He didn't really want to give this ridiculous woman any incentive to stick around, but he found himself unable to refuse her offer. A drink would help to calm his nerves, and the barkeep could not pester him if he was actually a customer. "I am not overly selective."

She made her way up to the bar and slid some coin across the counter to Danal, then returned with two frothy mugs of mead. "There you are." she said, placing one of the mugs in front of him.

He eyed both her and the drink with the kind of suspicion most reserved for snakes or strange dogs, but eventually his thirstiness got the better of him and he drank deeply from his mug.

"What's your name?"

His eyes shot back up to the woman and he set the glass down, a good deal lighter than it was before. "Why do you ask?"

"Passing fancy. You're new around here. We don't get many newcomers around these parts."

"Fenris." he said coolly.

"Nice to meet you, Fenris. I am Marian." she said. She extended her hand toward him to shake. He recoiled, like it was a dangerous beast. He didn't ask her name, and he certainly didn't ask to be touched. She nodded and retracted her arm, color rising in her cheeks. "Where are you from?"

He sighed. This Marian was a nosy sort. If he ever wondered what the catch was when she bought him the drink, he wondered no longer. Questions. There was always a catch. "Elsewhere." he replied laconically.

"I think I've heard of that. But why you'd ever want to leave 'elsewhere' for Lothering is curious, indeed."

"My reasons are my own."

He drained the glass down his throat, trying not to meet her steady gaze. When he set his mug down, she quickly got up to refill it for him. _She would know a thing or two about "curious", wouldn't she?_

"Will you be staying in Lothering long?" she asked as she set the mead down.

He bowed his head in approval at the full mug and began nursing it. As inquisitive as Marian was, at least she seemed determined to get him drunk. It could only help matters.

"Perhaps."

"Are you staying here in the inn?"

She was not getting him drunk quickly enough, apparently.

"Not exactly." he sighed. _Credit where credit is due, I haven't lied or ran her through with my blade yet._ he thought. Strange how she neglected to notice that, actually. It wasn't a small sword. Most of the time when people saw it they pushed on, and left him in peace. He liked that about his sword.

"Are you here on business?"

The more this woman stuck around, the more convinced he was that she was trying to glean some sort of specific information from him. Whether or not she was close to discovering it, he couldn't guess.

"Just passing through."

"Then are you staying at the Chantry?"

"No."

She physically relaxed at his answer. _Ah. So that was it._ Why she wanted to know if he was staying in the Chantry or not was also unclear.

"Well, I'll let you get back to it." she said, standing from her seat. "Nice meeting you, Fenris. Perhaps we'll speak again later."

He grunted at her and watched her make her way across the floor, stopping at the bar to say something inaudible to the barkeep and then leaving.

"Oi, knife-ear!" Danal called to him.

He quirked an eyebrow up. _Here it comes._ He thought, preparing to be pushed out into the swelter of sun.

"There's a room in the back for the week with your name on it. Hot meals and all the mead you can drink to match. Thought you might want to know."

His eyes turned to saucers and he nearly choked on the mouthful of liquid he was working on. "Thank you." he coughed.

"Don't thank me, thank Malcolm's eldest. Taken a fancy to you, it seems. Can't imagine why. That girl's an odd one. They all are, those Hawkes. You'd fit right in with that lot."

Fenris stared agape at the barkeep, who already moved on to polish the tankards with a questionable rag.

All he could think to do was wonder why.

* * *

The week went by rather quickly, and Fenris did not see Marian again until day six. He almost missed her completely, in fact, but he caught sight of the back of her head from his window, haggling with a merchant in the village green. He rushed out the door to catch her before she got away.

Her head turned as he approached and her eyes flicked up to his, too blue and guileless, a basket of vegetables hung at her side. "Fenris! Good day to you." she said. Heat rose in his cheeks. She remembered his name. "I trust you have been enjoying your stay so far?"

He blinked a few times, unsure of how to respond to her question or her kindness, at first. "That was...that was most generous of you." he said quietly, looking away. He was ashamed of his earlier abruptness."You have my thanks."

"Don't mention it." she said.

There was an awkward measure of silence between them, where neither was willing to look the other in the eye. Finally she smiled and said "Well, it was nice seeing you again, Fenris, but I must be going. You should get inside, out of the heat."

He nodded and watched her mount a healthy brown mare and retreat in the distance.

Fenris should have left well alone, but he couldn't. The sincerity in her eyes earned his curiosity, and the further she got, the more unshakeable that curiosity became. That's why he followed her back to her farmstead, and that's why he spent the rest of the day examining her from the shadows on her property.

She was greeted by a man in his late fifties, with salt and pepper hair and simple clothes, a pleasant smile played over his lips. _A father, perhaps?_ He took the basket from her, kissing her on the forehead and then he disappeared behind the door of the little building.

Marian herself found her way out to a stable, and began brushing and talking to a her horse.

"Oh, Acorn, how do you manage to get yourself so thoroughly knotted?" she asked. Acorn shook her white mane at her, as if in answer or maybe just to get a rise out of her. "I see. Well, keep doing that and I will have to cut back your sugar cube allowance." she said in mock disapproval.

"I saw that Fenris fellow again, today." she said. Acorn nickered quietly. "I think he's sad. I get the feeling he's had a difficult life."

Fenris stiffened. He wasn't supposed to be there. This wasn't meant for his ears, and yet, he couldn't peel himself away. Why he cared what this fool girl thought of him - correct in her evaluations or not - was puzzling, but he found that he did.

"Hopefully he'll stay in Lothering. If it's anything we've got in spades, it's peace."

Fenris suppressed a bitter laugh. _Not for long, while I remain._

"Don't look at me like that." she accused the horse. "Fine. Yes, he's handsome. Are you satisfied? That's neither here nor there, Acorn. Everyone enjoys a chance at happiness."

Fenris felt instantly dizzy. This was more than he needed or even wanted to know.

Acorn stomped her foot and snorted at her. "It's not naive. It's idealistic. There's a difference. Don't judge me! Oh, what do you know, anyway? You're just a horse."

She set the brush down, and kissed the horse on the muzzle. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. We'll talk more later, I promise."

She spent the rest of the day feeding animals with a young woman who might have been a sister, and then in a shouting match with a young man who might have been a brother. Fenris found that he couldn't concentrate, after the Acorn incident.

She had the right way about it; he was not happy and his life was never easy, but how did she extrapolate that much from their two brief encounters? And why was that any of her concern? Then again, the one thing he did know about Marian was that she failed to mind her own business.

Perhaps that was just the way of small-town folk like her. Boredom gave way to inquisitiveness, and he was probably just the latest novelty in town. White-haired elf with strange markings, yes that would do it.

By the time he snapped out of his daze, it was dark already. An older woman stepped outside onto the porch and called everyone inside for supper. Marian made her way in and the door closed behind her.

Fenris glanced back at the village. It was too dark to make out against the black sky, and there might be bandits or wolves prowling about. It would be dangerous to make the trip back by night.

Before he fully accepted this truth, he was already in the stable and eyeing the hay loft. Acorn whinnied at him anxiously and began beating the earth with her hooves. He hummed softly to the beast and stroked her snout, hoping she would calm herself once she realized he was not a threat. She trotted over towards a corner and bobbed her head at a tin on the floor in front of her stall.

Fenris bent to lift the container and shook it gently. He pulled off the lid and found it full of sugar cubes. _A bribe, then. I see._ He sighed and stole two cubes into his palm. Acorn huffed happily at the sight of them.

He fed the sugar to his stablemate and patted her gently on the neck. She seemed content enough to quiet down, at least.

He climbed into the hayloft and created a makeshift bed from the loose strands, retiring for the night. Weary as he was, he couldn't sleep. He thought of Danarius and what he would think to find his wayward slave sleeping among the beasts of burden.

Four months it was, now. Four months with dogs at his heels, and wind at his back. This was the longest he stayed anywhere, so far. Lothering was never meant to be a destination, just a stop on his wandering path. He owed that at least in part to this Marian girl. That itself was a true mystery to him. Why did she care? What did she stand to gain from helping a stranger like him, even if she did find him 'handsome'? What did she want from him? Her candid private confessions lead him to believe that she did it simply for the sake of being kind, but that was never the case from his experience. Everyone always wanted something. Marian was either a liar or a fool.

But the idea niggled at him relentlessly until he realized that he wanted it to be true. He wanted for there to be one good person in the world to restore his faith in mankind. And for some unimaginable reason he wanted that one person to be this simple, cornfed nobody named Marian. He didn't even know what that meant.

Sleep finally swallowed him up, and the sharp edges of the world softened and blurred. He was tired enough that he would not dream tonight, and for that he was grateful. The last thing he needed was to wake screaming and alert everyone to his presence. He would leave tomorrow, he decided. It would be better that way. Lothering was a pipe dream, just wishful thinking to distract him from the cruelty and hostility of the real world. Lothering was imaginary. Marian was a farce.


	2. An Eccentric Family

**Just a reminder, all Marian chapters are written by JenniferHawke (ie. this one). Please keep that in mind when leaving your reviews, and please take a moment to check out her work. She has the Shinkshinkshink seal of approval. :)**

**Marian**

It was barely dawn when Marian awoke. She sat upright in her bed, rubbing her eyes. She got no more than a few hours of sleep that night, her mind unwilling to let her rest. Her thoughts kept drifting to that strange elf Fenris - but why? Sure, he was handsome, and those eyes - oh she could be lost in them forever. But he was a stranger, she knew nothing of him or his life, or even why he was in Lothering. He was reluctant to even give her his name, if in fact, Fenris was his real name. She was worried for him, though. Something about him told her that he had a very rough life, and he was in need of a friend. The money she paid for his room would be up in the morning, and she doubted he had somewhere to go after that. She needed to check on him, and make sure he would be alright.

Marian stretched her legs before standing up. She quickly got dressed and ran a brush through her disheveled locks. She tiptoed quietly as to not wake the rest of her family, then she opened the front door and went to check on Acorn.

The air was slightly cool this morning, but Marian knew it would not stay that way for long. They were having a stiflingly hot summer, almost to the point of being unbearable. She grabbed a pail and walked a minute away to a stream to fetch some fresh water for her beloved horse. She knelt down, allowing the water to fill the bucket. The water ran through her hands and she brought them up to splash the last bit of sleep off of her face. Drops of water fell from her face, and she dried herself off with the sleeves of her worn shirt. Really, she should have spent that last coin of hers on new clothes, as these were tattered from working on the farm, but she figured Fenris needed the shelter more than she needed a more stylish outfit. Marian grabbed the now full pail and made her way to the stable.

Acorn whinnied when she saw her favorite person coming her way. Marian set the pail down and let the horse drink. She patted her on the head. "There you go girl, some nice fresh water to start your day."

As she spoke, she heard a quick rustling in the hayloft above. Marian stepped back, afraid for a moment, realising that there was a potential intruder in her stable. What in the world would someone be doing up on the hayloft, she wondered to herself. Acorn began to whinny again, and stomped her feet.

"Easy, girl. I know," Marian spoke in a calm voice. She debated running inside and grabbing her father, but by then the intruder could flee, and she wanted answers. She ever-so-quietly made her way to the ladder, so her movements would go undetected. She felt magic stirring in her veins, she would use it to protect herself if need be - she was not some defenseless maiden as she may have looked. In her twenty years, her father trained her well in the arts of magic, and if she or her family were in harm, she could cause some real damage.

She steadied herself and grabbed hold of the wooden ladder. Before any sudden movements could be made, she jumped up on the ladder, and pulled herself up. The sight before her took her by surprise.

"Fenris?" The elf sat upright, staring at her with saucer eyes. He looked frightened - alarmed - almost as much as she was. "Whatever are you doing here?" Fenris stared at Marian intently before speaking in a quiet matter.

"I followed you here."

"You followed me?" she repeated his words, and he faintly nodded. Marian let her tense shoulders drop and her body relax. She sat down, taking a seat close to him.

"Do you have somewhere to go?" she asked, a calmness to her voice.

"I will find somewhere. I never stay in one place long."

"But why? Don't you have family? Friends?" Marian wasn't trying to pry into this man's personal affairs, but she wanted to help him. That was just how Marian was raised, to look out for her fellow man. She had always been a great judge of character, and for some reason, something about Fenris told her that he was no threat to her or her family. Just a man trying to get by.

Fenris simply remained silent, and that was more than she needed to gain an answer. He was alone, and the sad look in his eyes when she first spoke to him in that inn was now explained to her. Marian could hear her family in the distance. Her mother was surely making breakfast now, and Carver and Bethany were arguing at a distance. She sucked in a deep breath. "Could you wait here a minute? I have an idea. Please, don't go." she went to place her hand over his in reassurance, but he quickly pulled away as if her touch would burn him. It didn't offend her, although it made her wonder what was done to him to make him so afraid of physical contact. Marian climbed down the ladder, and went off to talk to her Father. She had a question she had to ask him.

* * *

"No, absolutely not." Malcolm Hawke said in a stern voice, looking down at his eldest daughter.

"But Father, can't we give him a chance? Please.." she started.

"This isn't an inn. We have no room for some stranger. And just that, he's a stranger, Marian. I have a duty to this family to protect us - to protect you girls. What if he's one of them?"

"He hardly looks the part of a templar." Marian cut him off. "You taught me to be on guard, and you know I am not that gullible." She reminded him. Malcolm exhaled, and shook his head.

"And just what's so special about this one that you want to help him so much?"

"I can just tell...he needs help. I promise you, he won't be any trouble. You always taught me to help those in need, and you could use an extra hand around here, couldn't you?"

"Oh Malcolm, just let her invite her new friend over for breakfast at least. You can make your decision then." Leandra spoke softly, while she fried up some bacon and eggs for her family.

"Alright, alright. Go and get him. But I make no promises, if I don't like what I see, he's gone." he finally said, regretting the words as he spoke them.

"Thank you!" she said, kissing her father on the cheek as she left the room.

"You never could say no to her." Leandra chuckled.

* * *

Fenris sat at the opposite end of the table of Malcolm, looking completely out of his element. Marian sat to his left, and her younger sister Bethany to his right. Every now and then the younger Hawke sister glanced over at him in a subtle manner, but her twin brother Carver had no such grace.

"What in the blight are those markings for? They look odd." he said bluntly.

"Carver! Where are your manners?" Leandra scolded her only son, and he just smirked.

"What? They do." Marian looked over to Fenris, who was squirming uncomfortably in his seat.

"I'm sorry about my brother." she whispered to him, and he nodded.

"So, Fenris was it?" Malcolm finally asked the elf.

"Yes." Fenris spoke, nonchalantly.

"Well Fenris, Marian tells me you might be looking for somewhere to stay?" The elf's eyes darted over to Marian, and she looked at him hopefully.

"I do not have a home, if that is what you mean."

"That's so sad." piped up Bethany, who was only fifteen years old.

"I could use a hand on the farm." Malcolm directed at Fenris. "You look like you're a strong lad."

"I'm strong, too." mumbled Carver, clearly unhappy with the situation.

"I have never been on a farm before." Fenris said distantly, still not touching anything on the plate that lay before him. It was blatantly obvious that he was beyond uncomfortable.

"I could teach you what to do." Marian said softly.

"Marian, a word." Her father said, motioning for her to come into the other room. Leandra stood as well, and the two of them followed the head of the household into another room, leaving their guest with the twins. Once they were out of earshot, he spoke.

"I'm not sure this is wise. Look at the man, he has barely spoken a word. How do I know that I can trust him?"

"Don't you trust me?"

"Marian, don't give me that. This isn't about me trusting you. This is about a complete and total stranger in _my_ house with _my_ children."

"You said you could use the extra hands, and it's true. Please, just give him a chance." She pleaded, looking up into his blue eyes with her own.

"Just tell me, where is he going to sleep?"

"Well, there's space in my room. Bethany and Carver are already sharing - "

"No. Stop right there, young lady."

"Dad, I'm twenty years old." Marian turned to her mother. "Aren't you always going on that I'm perfect marrying age anyways?" she teased, clearly at an inappropriate time.

"Dear, I didn't mean-"

"And not in my house!" Malcolm exclaimed, a little louder than he meant.

"I was just joking."

"If he stays, you and Bethany will share a room. He can stay with your brother. That is my final offer."

"Thanks, Dad. He won't be any trouble. You'll see."

"He'd better not be." Malcolm said, as he left from the kitchen.

"Fenris, come with me." Malcolm motioned, and led the elf outside to the front porch, where he sat down. Fenris sat in a wooden chair, across from the older man.

"Now, if you're to stay here, there are some ground rules we need to discuss."


	3. The Wolf and the Rabbit

**Fenris**

Fenris cursed his damnable curiosity. He should have left already. He should be half to Orlais by now.

Malcolm's eyes bore steadily into him, as he waited for a response of some sort. When exactly had Fenris given the impression that he intended to stay? Why in the world would this man agree to such a thing in the first place? And why was he suddenly considering it?

"I do not wish to impose." he said.

Malcolm scratched the scruff on his chin, squinting against the glare of the sun. He kept stealing glances at the sword on Fenris' back, but he did not seem overly concerned about his own safety. "That's good to hear, but I'm not worried about that. If you are going to stay here, I intend to make good use of you. You will earn your bed and your food with physical labor, just like the rest of us. Tell me, what nature of work did you do before you came here?"

There was no sense in lying about it, Fenris thought. "I was a bodyguard." He left out the part about being a slave, it would only serve to complicate matters.

"I see." Malcolm said, nodding approvingly. "I'll be blunt with you, lad. My family has some...let's say unique circumstances, which I'm sure will reveal themselves in due time. I need someone who is strong and discreet. I don't care where you came from or why you left, if you can pull your own weight and keep my family safe, I'll make room for you."

Fenris stiffened. He still wasn't sure this was what he wanted. He was tired of running, but this was rather out of the blue. And what kind of "unique circumstances" was this man talking about? Surely a family in a place like Lothering couldn't harbor such a deep, dark secret.

"What exactly would you need from me?" he asked, hesitantly.

Malcolm shifted in his seat. "Milking goats, feeding the chickens, things like that. It isn't complicated work, but it is hard work. You will wake up early and you will go to bed sore. The good kind of sore. The farm itself needs upkeep at times. The roof leaks in the rain and snow, I trust that won't be an issue?" Fenris shook his head. He'd been sleeping on the cold, hard ground for months up until he met Marian. He was beginning to think a bed of his own would be a welcome change. "You'll have to help Marian bring the goods to town everyday. And this isn't a requirement, but maybe you can teach Carver how to wield a blade. He's got it in his head to become a soldier. He's headstrong and a handful, but I'd be grateful if you taught him to stay alive."

Fenris paused to consider the offer. He really had nothing to lose by accepting. It might even be gratifying to lose himself in manual labor. Perhaps Lothering was an obscure enough place that he could evade Danarius.

"I can do that." he said.

"Good." Malcolm said. "Then there's only one other thing I need to say, and I want you to listen very, very close." Fenris leaned forward attentively. "My family is the most important thing in this world to me. If you lay an unkind hand on any of them, it will go badly for you. My daughters," he cleared his throat. "My daughters however, are of particular concern to me. You are a stranger, and for whatever reason, my Marian has taken a liking to you. She is trusting and innocent, perhaps to her own detriment, but it is also one of her better qualities. Perhaps that will not always be the case but I would not see that stolen from her prematurely. Tread carefully and keep your hands to yourself. Is that clear?"

"Of course." Fenris said. Honestly, he hadn't given the idea much thought. Marian was pretty and gentle and kind, but she was also happy, she had a family and presumably friends, a life ahead of her. To think about her in that way would be folly.

"Excellent. You will share a room with my boy. You may well be wondering if he is always that way. He is, but he'll grow on you. If not, all that happens in a sparring match is fair game, I suppose." he flashed a wide smile at Fenris. So that's where she gets it from. "I'll have Marian give you the grand tour, maybe I'll have her get you some appropriate clothes while you're in town later. Sit tight for a moment."

As soon as Malcolm disappeared from view, Fenris began second-guessing his decision. He was no farmhand, he was a slave. The only experience he had with animals involved the magister's evil cat Beast, and they never got on. The cat would wait for him around every corner and pounce, latching viciously onto his calves and feet with his talons. Sometimes he would even vomit hairballs in Fenris' bed. Fenris hated that cat. What good would he be to the Hawkes?

And what if Danarius did catch up with him? He would only be putting more lives in danger. A memory of a tribe of dead fog warriors lying slain at his feet sprang forth, unbidden. Could he truly say he was above his master's influence now? Could he live with himself if he murdered more innocents? If he hurt tender Marian or Malcolm Hawke?

"Hey." Marian said, emerging from the doorway of the house. She sat across from him, her eyes probing his. "I'm glad you decided to stay."

"For now." he said.

"I apologize if he made you uncomfortable. Don't let him fool you, he's a big softie." she said, staring off in the distance wistfully.

"Why are you doing this?"

She did not seem startled or bothered by the abruptness of the question. A smile crept across her lips. "Because it suits me." she said. "And because I thought we could be friends."

He narrowed his eyes at her. Fenris did not even know what a friend was. In his experience, there were people who were hostile and there were people who weren't. There were those who caused pain and those who didn't. There were predators and there were prey, wolves and rabbits. He already knew which kind he was. If her demeanor was any indicator of what kind she was, friendship was the least likely outcome to arise from this scenario.

And it wasn't that he didn't want to. He did, but it just seemed so far-fetched. All of this did. As much as he wanted to believe that Marian was just a genuinely kind person, he still couldn't suspend his disbelief. Years of torment and abuse have a way of leaving a man jaded like that.

"Not right away, of course." she said, as though time were the issue. She couldn't possibly know the gravity of what she was asking of him. To her, friendship probably came easily. To her, this was a non-issue.

He stared at her feet ashamedly, unable to look into her eyes. "I will try."

She beamed. "Come on. Let me show you around."

He followed her out back to the chicken coup where the hens anxiously awaited their arrival. Outside the coup was a huge bag of feed. "First thing we do is feed the chickens." she said, tossing the sack over her shoulder handily. "And we make sure everyone gets some."

Feathers exploded in the air as the doors to the coup creaked open. A racket of clucking and crowing filled his ears, and some brave birds tried to make a run for it. Marian motioned for him to shut the door behind him.

She poured the contents of the bag out on the ground in front of her, spreading it out in a long, meandering line. The fowl immediately went into a frenzy to get their fill, some fighting one another for space.

"While they're eating, we'll check the nests for eggs." she said, handing him a small basket.

Fenris nodded and carefully sidestepped some of the feeding birds to get to the shelves of nests beyond them. "How often do they lay?"

"Hmm, depends on the chicken." she said, as she lifted an egg up to eye level. "On average, every two to three days, for these ones."

"Is there call to hatch them?"

"Sometimes. Not right now, though. Most of these will go to market, and some will be ours for breakfast. I suppose we'll need to keep a few extra eggs from now on. Do you like eggs, Fenris?"

He plucked a large brown egg from a nest and placed it carefully in the bottom his basket. "I do." Actually, there wasn't much he was unwilling to eat. Although he was fed better than most of the other slaves in Danarius' employ, his diet was never an elaborate one. On the run he could only eat what he foraged or hunted, maybe some grey stew from an inn if he could steal the coin.

"That's good. You might not think you're hungry in the morning, but if you skip breakfast you'll be half-starved by lunch, and mother will be very cross with you. Never turn down any food she gives you. She takes it personally. She was already on about putting meat on your bones this morning while you were talking to Dad. Don't worry, she does it to me too. I swear, it's like it's her mission in life to make sure none of us are hungry."

Fenris found himself hypnotized by the cadence of Hawke's chatter. There was something comforting about it, the way she regarded him in that casual tone, as though she'd known him for years, or all her life. He liked listening to her talk.

"You look healthy enough to me." she smiled, peeking at his arms.

He tried not to let her see the blossom of color in his cheeks. "Thank you."

Next, she led them to a pen in the back with a dozen and a half shaved goats, bleating happily to see her.

"See that one?" she pointed to a huge nan, smiling fondly. "That's Cinnamon. She's mine. I've had her since she was a baby, and now she's going to have a kid of her own. Won't be long now, I think. Maybe you can have her baby." He said nothing. "That black one is Daffodil, she's Bethany's. The white billy is Spirit. Supposedly he belongs to Carver, but he never takes care of him."

"Why goats?"

"Oh, the goats are where we get the most profit. Goats give milk and wool and mutton. Without the goats, we'd never make it through the winter." she said, lifting a fat sack of grain on her shoulder. She untied the end of it and poured it into a trough, some of the goats did not even wait for her to finish before they began eating.

Afterwards she showed him how to milk the nans, which was a messy and embarrassing experience. Somehow he managed to drench his entire foot in milk. Marian laughed and promised he'd get the hang of it eventually. She left a saucer of milk on the ground for an orange tomcat who was eagerly nuzzling her legs the entire while. He did not seem anything like Beast.

They convened back in the Hawke house for a hearty lunch of beef stew and soft bread. Marian was right: he was famished. The simple meal was the best he'd eaten in a long time. He scarfed the bowl down greedily and did not hesitate to accept a second helping when it was offered to him. Leandra seemed very pleased.

"Listen here, you." Carver said out of nowhere, across the table. "I don't care if Marian's got a lake in her smalls for you or not..."

"Carver!" Marian and Leandra gasped at the same time.

"If you have to share a room with me, you'd better stay out of my way. You got that?"

Fenris did not lift his eyes from his food.

"Carver, apologize to your sister and Fenris at once!"

"Why? Anyone can see it's true."

"You're a creep." Marian said.

"It's not my fault you're hot and bothered by some weird, marked-up elf."

"That's enough!" Malcolm snapped, his nostrils flaring. "Carver, shut your mouth and eat your damn food."

"But..."

"I said shut up and eat!"

No one said anything for a long time, after that, but Fenris did not miss the glower on Carver's face.

"You don't sound like you're Fereldan, Fenris. Where are you originally from, if you don't mind me asking?" Bethany asked.

"The Tevinter Imperium." he said.

Marian's eyes darted up to his. "Really?" he nodded. "I've heard awful things about that place. Are they true?"

"That depends on what you've heard."

"I've heard the magisters keep slaves and practice blood magic."

He hesitated before he answered. He wasn't ready to reveal just how much he knew about the subject. "It is true." Her eyes seemed to scour his features for a moment, and then she looked away, falling silent for the rest of the meal.

They spent the rest of the day in town, bartering for his clothes and food for the animals. Marian explained a thing or two about haggling prices and they returned with a heavier basket than when they left. They spent another hour or so cleaning and brushing Acorn, while Marian talked about her family and Lothering and herself. She smiled easily and often, he discovered. He liked that about her. She also seemed genuinely interested in him, which was flattering, although he still was not ready to divulge too much personal information about himself. He was glad that she was undeterred by his unwillingness to speak at length.

Then they had a dinner of roast chicken with biscuits and vegetables. Fenris was still a little full from lunch, but he certainly didn't want to turn down such a succulent meal, especially if it meant insulting Leandra's cooking.

By the time they supped and completed all their chores, it was dark out. Marian decided she wanted to sit out on the porch and talk for a while before they resigned for the night.

The sky was clear and dark, ornamented by a white glitter of sparkling stars and a fat moon. It cast a strange glow over them and washed her face and arms in milk light. She set a lantern down between them and moths came from nowhere to attack the glass. Somewhere in the distance he heard a wolf bay long and low, and another eventually joined him.

"How was your first day?" she asked, drawing him from his reverie.

"Informative." he replied. She seemed a little disappointed by his answer.

"You don't smile much, do you?"

"Not really." he said, then after a pause. "Do you want me to smile?"

"It can't hurt."

_If only you knew._

He peered down into her lap, where she kept her hands folded with one another. Marian's hands were filthy and calloused from a lifetime of labor. She had white, expressive, tiny hands; comforting hands that seemed all too ready to reach out and touch him if he allowed it.

"You don't have to if you don't want to." she said.

He lifted his head to gape into her eyes and it seemed like she could see into his thoughts, see the conflict between what he wanted and who he was and Marian - gentle Marian with her impossibly small hands and her soft eyes - she accepted it and smiled.

Fenris' chest warmed and there was little thought or reasoning behind what he did next. With trepidation and much effort, he forced himself to smile back.


	4. Whispers in the Dark

**Another chapter from the lovely JenniferHawke. :)**

**Marian**

When Fenris smiled back at her, she felt like she could fly. The light from the lantern caused his skin to flicker, flames dancing back and forth over his tanned skin. The light hit his green eyes, and they sparkled back at her. Marian tried to hide her approval, and just chuckled slyly at him.

"See, that wasn't so hard, now was it?" She playfully teased the elf. It was nice to see him this way, but it didn't last long. That usual scowl he had soon returned, and he stared out across the land.

Marian was certain now, more than ever, that Fenris had a dark secret that he carried with him. When she asked him about the Tevinter Imperium at the dining table earlier, the look that he tried to hide - it was obvious to her that something terrible happened to him. The rest of his face remained blank and unreadable when she asked - but his eyes, oh those beautiful mossy green eyes had the hint of terror in them, for only the briefest of moments. Her heart ached for him. She had heard countless stories of how the Magisters kept slaves, mostly elves, and she prayed that he wasn't one of them.

"I hope you'll be happy here." is all she could muster up to say to him. Marian didn't much like sitting in silence. She was always talking, or humming, or singing to the animals as she worked. Fenris was a man of few words, but she enjoyed hearing him talk. His voice was deep and smooth; a very pleasant sound to her ears.

"I am sure I will be, once I familiarize myself to your way of living."

"Well, working on a farm won't be nearly as exciting as being someone's bodyguard, but I'm sure you'll get the hang of it in no time." Fenris winced, and she quickly regretted her choice of words.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume -"

"No need to apologize."

"Can I ask you something?"

"You talk a lot, don't you?" Marian laughed.

"I guess I do. I'm not bothering you, am I?" Fenris quickly shook his head.

"No. It's nice to have someone to listen to. It is not something I am accustomed to. What is it you want to ask?"

"Were you...I mean..." she trailed off. She knew she probably shouldn't be asking him such personal information so soon, but she wanted to know. It was eating away at her insides, the same way that insects tore away at their crops in the summer. "You weren't a slave, were you?"

Fenris' body stiffened, and his eyes narrowed at her. She instantly froze, his gaze pierced right through her, and for a moment, she became a little frightened.

"I fail to see how this is relevant to you."

"I'm sorry...it's just earlier, when I asked about the Tevinter Imperium, you seemed - "

"It would be wise of you not to speak of such things in my presence." he snapped, his voice cold and angry. Marian turned away from him, feeling small and insignificant.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you." She began to scold herself for sticking her nose where it didn't belong. Of course he would be angry with her. Why wouldn't he be? If someone she barely knew started asking her if she were a mage, she would probably have the exact same reaction. She heard Fenris exhale deeply from beside her.

"You did not offend me. I just do not wish to talk about it. Can we leave it at that?"

"Yes, we can." she sighed with relief, when she turned and he no longer had that menacing glare on his face. Rather, he looked worried. There was a slight wind in the air now, and the breeze made Fenris' ivory hair flutter in its movement. She studied his features, his tan skin in comparison to his white locks. He had white hair and yet his eyebrows were dark. The markings that swirled across his skin were so intricate in their design. Curiosity burned within her, she wanted to know more about him, but she knew asking anything else tonight would be completely futile.

"Shall we go inside then?" she asked him, and he stood up, ready to comply. Marian led him back inside their home, and showed him to his room, where Carver sat on his bed, glowering at the elf. Fenris would be sleeping where Bethany used to. Marian's bed was a double, so it was decided that she would share her bed with her younger sister. So much for privacy, she thought to herself. She turned her attention to her younger, headstrong brother.

"Remember, my room is right next to yours, and our walls are paper thin. Don't think I won't come over here and teach you a lesson if you aren't polite to our guest."

"He's your guest, sister. He should be bunking with you."

"And what do you think father dearest would think of that?"

"I don't care what he thinks, and I don't care what you think either! This is my room, so I don't have to do as you say -"

"Carver! Pipe down or I'll come in there and give you something to whine about!" Malcolm's voice boomed from down the hall.

"See? Paper thin walls." Marian smirked, and Carver sulked, rapidly turning over to face the wall. "I'll be in the next room if you need anything." she said to Fenris, who stared at Carver as if he were a grenade, about to detonate.

* * *

Marian entered her bedroom, and Bethany was already there. She had moved her belongings into the room, and was sitting on the bed in her nightgown. Marian smiled at her little sister.

"Sorry if it's a little cramped in here" she said, closing the door.

"Oh no, I'd much rather share a bed with you than a room with Carver." she looked at Marian wide-eyed. "Do you have any idea what he does at night when he thinks I'm sleeping?" she whispered, a horrified look on her face. Marian shuddered.

"I'd rather not know."

Bethany turned around as Marian began to undress herself. She opened a drawer with the very few clothes that she had, and slipped on a loose white nightgown. It was a few sizes too big for her slender form. She did up the buttons and then climbed into her bed, laying at the side closest to the wall.

"Sister?"

"Yes, Bethany?"

"You really like that boy, don't you?" Marian smiled at her innocence.

"He's really a man more than a boy," she laughed. She imagined Fenris was in his late twenties, at the very least, perhaps even a little older than that. "But to answer your question, I think I do." she smiled, and a warmth came across her face.

"Why?" her sister asked her, curiously.

"Well..." she hesitated, giving it some thought. "I'm not too sure really." she said, trying to keep her voice low, afraid that the men in the next room would hear her. "There's just something different about him that I like."

"He sure isn't like anyone around here."

"You're right Bethany. He isn't."

"Is that why you haven't had a boyfriend before? Because they weren't different?"

Marian Hawke had never been in love. She was too busy working hard on the farm, and harboring a dark secret. Nothing about the men she grew up around piqued her interests, although that wasn't to say it went both ways. She had often gotten attention from the opposite sex, with their catcalls and repulsive remarks if she went into town late at night. It made her cringe, so she tried to avoid it when she could. She wore clothes that were loose fitting and kept her hair short. It was easier to work that way anyhow.

"Maybe." she finally answered her sister. Carver's voice could be hear from the next room. He was complaining to Fenris that he ought to find somewhere else to go, and he'd better stay away from his sister. Marian just rolled her eyes and banged her fist against the wall, and Carver silenced his whining.

"Let's get some sleep Bethany. It's been a long and trying day."

* * *

Again that night, Marian tossed and turned. Despite how physically drained she felt, her mind would not let up on her. Why did she have feelings for a man she just met? It was unlike her to fall easily. In fact, she avoided these kind of feelings like they were the plague. Emotions would just lead to a broken heart, and that was something she did not need in her life right now.

She lay against the wall, knowing the just inches away from it was Fenris' bed. He was so close to her, yet he might as well be miles away. She listened closely, trying to distinguish if she could hear him breathing deeply with sleep. No such luck, just Carver's usual snoring. She groaned and closed her eyes. Her body would surely be regretting the lack of sleep in the morning.


	5. Peaches

**Fenris**

The bunkbed rocked as he climbed into it. Fenris silently noted that this is probably what Malcolm meant when he said the farm itself needed maintenance. If he stuck around long enough, he'd have to eventually fix it. It barely seemed stable to sleep in, let alone climb up and down, although Bethany probably weighed less than him so it may not have mattered until now.

"Stupid elf. What are you trying to do, collapse the whole damn bed with me in it?" Carver muttered.

Fenris rolled his eyes and got under the covers. He was surprised how clean and warm they were, no holes at all, and the pillows were filled with plush down. He wasn't accustomed to such luxuries.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

Fenris sighed but did not dignify the boy with an answer. He knew it would only give him an excuse to continue.

"Anyway, Marian doesn't need you. She's got enough problems of her own. If you know what's good for you, you'll stay away from her. If you know what's good for you, you'll leave."

A fist banged on the wall from the other side - presumably Marian's - and Carver piped down for a while.

Fenris stared up at the ceiling. There was a long, jagged crack that divided the room in two. It looked like it was poorly patched a few times, and there was mold growing in the plaster. Another thing he would have to help the Hawkes with, if he ever gained the confidence to ask permission. Right now he could barely talk to Marian, even though he desperately wanted to.

He cursed himself for being so sharp with her earlier. She did not deserve his bitterness, and there was no reason to think she was being anything but concerned for him. Yet, it was better that she didn't know who he really was. Her ignorance of his circumstances might even save her life.

_Tink._

His eyes popped open. Did he imagine that sound? Carver grumbled and turned in the bed beneath him. Perhaps not.

_Tink. Tink._

"Psst."

Carver cursed and got out of bed, moving to the window and pushing it open.

"Hey." a feminine voice whispered.

Carver groaned and pushed his hair back. "Oh blight. What are you doing here?"

A skinny, rat-faced girl pulled herself through the window. She had long frizzy hair, buck-teeth and large ears that stuck out the side of her head. A galaxy of freckles sprayed across the pale skin of her face, her flat chest and stick-thin arms.

"Is that any way to talk to your girlfriend, Carver Hawke?"

Carver clenched his fists at his side. "For Maker's sake, I've told you about a million times already, you're not my girlfriend, Peaches."

"You're being mean again." Peaches whined, her lip trembling. "Why do you treat me like this? It hurts my feelings you know. I just...I just..."

"Alright, alright. Don't cry." he sighed, hugging her close. "You'll wake the whole bloody house."

"I love you so much. How can you be so cruel?" Then her eyes darted up and met Fenris'. "Carver! Who is that?"

"Just some creepy elf my sister's trying to rut with. Ignore him."

"But what if he tells on us?"

"He won't. He barely talks. Isn't that right, you sharp-eared freak?"

Fenris said nothing, simply rolled over and covered himself with the blanket.

"See?" he said. "What do you want, anyway? Can't you see it's late."

She giggled. "I thought we could try snogging again. It was fun last time."

"You can't just come here in the middle of the night to snog. My parents will have kittens if they see you."

"Pleeeeease. Pleasepleaseplease." Peaches begged.

Carver was silent for a moment and then the bunk beneath Fenris swayed. He thought the horrid girl finally left, but then the panting and grunting started and more rocking commenced. He covered his head with a pillow.

That went on for what seemed like hours until Peaches made a muffled squeak and then there was the sharp sound of skin striking skin.

"How dare you? What do you think I am, some floozy for you to grope? Some whore?"

"Aw, come on, Peaches. I was just..."

"Save it, Carver. I'm leaving."

The window closed and the room fell silent again, but not for long.

The bed began to shake and every now and then Fenris' could hear a sharp inhalation of breath or a stifled moan from below him. He could do nothing but lay there in horror and try not to pay attention to it. Once or twice he thought he heard Carver whisper "oh Peaches." The breaths came more and more shallow until finally he grunted and stopped, much to Fenris' relief.

And then Carver began to snore. Loudly.

Realizing that sleep would not come that night, he resigned himself to think about Marian, and how tender she was when she spoke to him. How she helped him even though she didn't have to. How she smiled at him and asked for his friendship like it was worth something. How she made him want nothing more than to grant it to her.

His mind drifted and wandered, but somehow it always returned to Marian and her easy smile. Whether she knew it or not, Marian already left an imprint on him, markings beneath his skin to contrast the ones on the outside and just as permanent. Except these ones were not so shameful.

* * *

"So how did you sleep, Fenris?" Marian asked him the next morning at breakfast. Carver dropped his fork to glare at him in warning, as though Fenris would fear such a threat.

"The bed was comfortable." he said, which was not a lie.

"I would sleep there too, if I could." he glanced up at her and her face was beet red. "I mean, if you weren't already sleeping there, of course. It'd probably break if we were both in it. Not that we'd ever both be in it! Oh Maker. The bunkbeds are nice, that's all I meant."

Everyone at the table turned to gawk at her for a second, as though she had tentacles growing out of her head. Carver burst out laughing and almost choked on his eggs, until Malcolm showed him the back of his hand from across the table and he grew very silent.

"They are." Fenris nodded. He did find her little slip-up oddly endearing and transparent, but he didn't want to embarrass her more than she already was.

"You're a good eater, Fenris." Leandra remarked as he swallowed the last fork-full of eggs. "Didn't they feed you in the Imperium?"

It was Marian's turn to stop and stare in horror.

He could tell she meant well and she couldn't possibly know how careless her question was. "Not like this. This is delicious."

Leandra's eyebrows softened, as she blotted her lips with the napkin in her lap. "Oh, isn't he sweet? It's just scrambled eggs, dear, but thank you. I'll be sure to make you extra next time."

Fenris frowned, but bowed his head to her in appreciation. He did not want anyone fretting over him, and he definitely didn't want any special treatment. He was already causing enough trouble just by being there.

The rest of the meal went by without event, and he and Marian began their day.

"So tell the truth, did Carver give you much trouble last night?"

Fenris tried to think of a response that wouldn't humiliate her and he could think of none. "It was unpleasant." was all he said.

"Blasted Carver! I knew it! What did he say?"

"It was not something he said. You need not concern yourself. I am fine."

Her eyes widened as realization dawned on her, she covered her mouth with both hands and shook her head slowly. Marian may have been naive, but she was also astute and observant when it came to others. "Maker, he didn't!" Fenris did not meet her gaze. "Oh, Fenris, I'm so, so sorry. You have my permission to slap him upside the head. I've been wanting to do it myself for years."

He allowed himself for a moment to imagine doing just that, not because of last night, but for embarrassing poor, sweet Marian. It was not as satisfying an image as he thought it would be.

"Don't trouble yourself, Marian."

Marian sighed, then turned back to him with a smile. "You called me Marian."

"Should I not? It is your name, after all."

"No, no. I just...I've never heard you say my name before. I like it." she simpered at him, sweetly.

"I shall keep that in mind, Marian." he said, forcing himself to smile for her again, because it seemed like the right thing to do. She looked away and continued milking her goat.

Later that day, they rode double on Acorn on the way to the market, much to his initial protest. After some back and forth she promised that he could ride in the front and he begrudgingly agreed. It was the first touch from a woman he could ever remember that wasn't painful or insulting. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised to learn that Marian did not scratch or strike him like Hadriana, but he was. Her arms around his waist were a comfortable weight, although the weather was warm for it. After a while he relaxed and she sighed with relief.

She hummed to herself as they rode, a simple melody which reminded him of his master's songbirds. Filthy creatures, actually, but they were lovely to behold and listen to. Danarius had many such birds in nearly every color of the spectrum. The magister suspected a rumor spread in the city that he collected the creatures and one holiday a dozen ornate cages showed up on his doorstep with a note from "a friend". Some sniveling, bootlicker with a notion to raise his station, no doubt. Marian's voice was sweet and calm. He found himself lost in it.

And then he heard a twig snap and then a rustling in the brush along their path. He froze, drawing Acorn to a halt.

"What's wrong?" Marian asked.

He raised his finger to his lips. "Wait here." he whispered and dismounted, unsheathing his sword.

He approached the bush, his feet falling silently against the earth. He was almost close enough to hear them breathe when they emerged from their shroud, bows drawn.

"You might not want to do that, friend." the leader said. There were three of them, common bandits if Fenris was not mistaken. One was not within reach. The man stepped from the brush, not letting Fenris out of his sights for even a second. "Lower your weapon."

Fenris did not flinch. "I don't think I will." he said, cracking his neck and back.

"That's a mighty fine beast you have there. She's a beauty. Nice horse, too." the three of them laughed. "Tell you what: give us the horse and some playtime with the lady and we won't stick you full of holes. Fair?"

A pair of feet hit the ground behind him and began approaching him.

"Get back on the horse, Marian." he said evenly.

"Fenris, maybe we should just give them what they want. It will be alright."

"Smart lass. You should listen to the pretty lady, knife-ear." the man said.

He took a step closer to them, keeping all three bowmen in his line of vision, the third in his peripherals. "That won't be happening."

His enemy sighed. "Well, you heard the man. Holes it is."

His markings flared and the area around them lit up white-blue for a second. It was a warning of sorts. A look of fear crossed their faces, but they did not let up. "Get the freak! Leave the girl alive, I have plans for her."

In an instant Fenris lunged forward and impaled one of the attackers on his sword, using the momentum to throw him into another. The bandit lost balance and shot his arrow futilely into the sky. Fenris sliced him across the throat in a clean arc, then turned to the remaining enemy. He felt a sharp pain in his shoulder as an arrow punctured his skin, but before the opponent could knock back another, his head went tragically missing.

Marian raced over to him, guilt and concern spread across her features. "Fenris, you're hurt!" she cried.

He scowled at the protruding arrow, annoyed to have bloodied up his new clothes so soon. "I've had worse."

"Let me see." she said, but before he could argue with her, she already broke off the end of the arrow and removed his shirt. She relaxed as she saw that it wasn't too deep and it wasn't near any major arteries.

He stiffened as he saw her eyes skim his marked chest, and he was not sure if he should be angry or glad that she did not seem disgusted by it. Her hands disappeared into her pack and produced a foul-smelling salve and a wad of bandages. "This will hurt." she said. He nodded. He was accustomed to pain. Pain was all he really knew.

He braced himself and she pulled the arrow from his flesh cleanly. He did hiss, but perhaps she was expecting more of a response, since her eyes darted up to his, wide with astonishment. She compressed a bandage infused with the salve against the wound, blowing a breath of cool air onto his skin. He felt a sudden urge to reach up and cup her cheek, and he wasn't sure where it came from, but he resisted for both their sakes.

"You shouldn't have done that." she said, sternly.

"It is what I was trained to do."

"I don't care what you were trained to do! Train yourself to not take unnecessary risks and get killed!" she snapped. Then softer she said "Thank you."

"It is nothing."

"What happened just a moment ago? Your markings...they lit up like lightning."

He nodded. He knew this would come up sooner or later, but he found himself dreading the conversation now that it was taking place. "They are lyrium." he said.

She tossed aside the bloody bandages and began wrapping his shoulder with some clean ones, furrowing her brow. "How do you have lyrium in your skin?"

He measured his words carefully. The last thing he wanted was for Marian to feel sorry for him. "It is a ritual performed only in Tevinter, and very rarely. They were burned into my flesh."

"Didn't that hurt?"

Fenris could not lie to her. "Yes."

"But why? Why would you do such a thing to yourself?" she asked, knotting the bandage close to his heart.

He didn't answer. He wasn't ready to share those memories with her just yet.

After a moment or two she nodded, and he thought perhaps perceptive Marian figured it out on her own. She helped him to his feet without saying a word, and he was grateful. Perhaps she wouldn't press the issue.


	6. A Toast

**Marian**

Marian felt unbelievably grateful that Fenris was with her during the attack. He must be a gift sent by the Maker. she thought to herself. If she was alone when those bandits showed...no, she didn't even want to think about what would have happened. When she spotted them confronting Fenris, she jumped off of her horse. She felt the magic stirring in her veins, and she prepared herself to use it. Thankfully, this brave man took care of it himself. She was thankful she did not have to reveal her magic. She had no idea how Fenris would have reacted to her revealing she was a mage, and now more than ever, she suspected that he was in fact a former slave of the Tevinter Imperium.

The way he looked when she asked about the lyrium in his skin; it became too clear. She stupidly asked why he would put himself through such a thing, when it dawned on her that those markings he carried with him were not self inflicted. She felt like a fool for suggesting such a thing. She flushed a bit of red.

"How does your arm feel?" she asked of the wound in his shoulder.

"I have experienced worse." he said.

She raised an eyebrow. "You should let me ride in front on the way back. You'll strain your arm less that way."

"I am fine."

"Fenris, don't be absurd..."

"I said I am fine." he repeated, and she couldn't argue with him any further. Stubborn man, she thought to herself. When she sat behind him, she wrapped her slender arms around his waist to hold on. She felt him stiffen at her touch initially, but eventually he relaxed. She enjoyed the way he felt against her. His body was strong and well defined, and in this position she could breathe in his scent without Fenris noticing. She was practically smiles all the way back, despite what happened just minutes prior.

When they dismounted Acorn, Malcolm was standing in the field. He saw the blood on Fenris' clothes and he hastened over to them.

"What happened to you?" He asked frantically, checking Marian for injuries, completely ignoring Fenris' wound although he was the one stained with red.

"We were attacked by bandits. I dealt with it." Fenris said casually, as if what happened wasn't anything out of the ordinary.

"They wanted Acorn." Marian added. "They also said some pretty repugnant things about me. Father, I really don't know what would have happened if Fenris wasn't there." Malcolm's eyes grew wide, and he held Marian close to him.

"Thank the Maker you're alright." He closed his eyes for a moment, embracing her.

"I'm okay, really. You should have seen the number Fenris did on them. It was amazing. I've never seen anything quite like it."

When Malcolm finally let go of her, he turned to Fenris with appreciation. "Lad, you have my eternal gratitude for what you did today."

"You said I was to protect your family. I was simply performing the task that was asked of me."

Malcolm stared at Fenris long and hard, as if he were trying to detect any signs of causticness, but seemed to approve of the answer he received. "Still, I would not have thought you would put your own life on the line."

"I was trained as a bodyguard, it is what I have been taught to do."

"Even so, we are but strangers." Malcolm challenged him.

"You have taken me into your home. It was the least I could do."

Malcolm went to check the wound on Fenris' arm, but the elf flinched and pulled away.

"I think the salve healed most of it," Marian said. In the time she spent with Fenris, she already knew he was fearful of people touching him for some reason. Her father seemed to accept her response.

"I think a celebration is in order tonight. In the name of our new guest."

"That is unnecessary." Fenris interjected, but Malcolm would have none of it.

"Nonsense, it's the least I can do." Malcolm smiled, repeating the elf's words. Fenris nodded his head in agreement. Marian grinned. "Now you take the rest of the day off. You've earned it."

Fenris left them. Once he was out of sight, Malcolm grabbed Marian by the arm and led her to the side of the stable. "Tell me what happened."

"It's just as I said, bandits ambushed us, and Fenris killed them."

"How many were there?"

"Three of them. Fenris took them out pretty quickly."

"All on his own? You didn't reveal our secret, did you?"

Marian shook her head. "I thought I was going to need to use it but it was unnecessary. Oh Father, you should have seen it." Marian didn't mention Fenris' markings and what he told her about them being made of lyrium, she thought it would alarm him and he was just starting to like Fenris.

"Impressive. I suppose you may be right about him. But only time will tell."

* * *

Leandra prepared a big supper that night, more extravagant than she usually had. She made a huge fuss about it when she heard of what Fenris did. She made a roast with potatoes and corn from the fields. They served wine with dinner to celebrate, and Malcolm even allowed Bethany and Carver to have a glass or two. It was a special day after all. Marian could tell Fenris still felt a little uncomfortable, it was only his second night and there was a lot of attention on him, but he seemed to be relaxing a little more now than he did the previous night. Or perhaps it was the wine, she thought. He sure did like it, as he had 4 glasses by the time dinner was through.

"You two worked up quite the appetite today I see." Leandra said softly to her eldest and Fenris.

Marian laughed. "I guess being in the face of danger takes a lot out of you." she admitted.

"From what my daughter told me, you got the best of them before they could even react," Malcolm said, as he picked up his wine glass and drank from it.

"Can we please stop talking about it? I could have done the same if I were there." Carver protested.

"Boy, you have a lot to learn about wielding a weapon yet. Besides, you weren't there so do put a sock in it." Malcolm raised his voice at Carver, sick of his antics over the past two days.

Soon after, they cleaned up from the meal. Malcolm and Leandra retired to the sitting room to share another glass of wine together and Carver and Bethany were bickering as they cleared the table. Marian snuck a spare bottle of wine behind her back.

"Pst." she whispered to Fenris who was just standing up. She pointed her head toward the door and he followed her outside. Once they were out the door, she showed him the bottle of wine with a conspiratorial grin. "I figured you might want to get away from everyone else for a bit. I thought maybe we could drink this together."

"Will your father mind?"

"He and Mother will turn in as soon as they are done chatting. That's how it usually goes. They won't even notice we're gone." she mused. Fenris smiled at her, and she lead him around a corner to a bench in a somewhat secluded area. It was already dark out.

"I hope you don't mind drinking from the bottle. I did not bring any glasses with me." Fenris chuckled as he took the bottle from her and popped it open.

"Glasses are not needed. I am not particularly fussy as you may have noticed." He said as he brought the bottle to his lips and took a big swig of it. He handed it to Marian and she did the same. "I must thank you again for your hospitality. Your family has been so kind to me, it really is unnecessary."

Marian turned and smiled at the elf. "That's just the kind of people we are. Don't worry so much about it. It's only been your second day and already you've won my father over. Not an easy task."

Fenris grabbed the bottle from her once more and took an even bigger gulp. Marian's cheeks were warming, and she knew that mixed with the few drinks she had at supper, she was starting to feel the effects of the home-brewed wine. She felt bold in her thoughts, and her inhibitions began to dissolve.

"Tell me Fenris, was there ever a special lady in your life?" Marian asked.

Fenris stilled for a moment before answering. "No."

"Never?"

"Why are you so interested in such a thing?"

Marian blushed a little and felt embarrassed for asking. "I was just curious. That's all."

"Some things will never change." He gently teased her and she smiled, as she took another sip of wine. She began to wonder, if in fact, Fenris liked women at all.

Marian and Fenris carried on like this for another hour until they drained the contents of the bottle. They slowly made their way back to the house and she turned to him at the front door.

"I had fun with you tonight."

"As did I." Fenris said, looking intently at her with his brilliant green eyes. She smiled and then opened the door. They crept quietly in the house, as it was dead silent and everyone seemed to be asleep. When they were in front of Carver's room, she whispered.

"Okay, you have a good sleep and I will see you tomorrow." Fenris nodded at her and then quietly turned the handle, but then froze once the door was opened. His face read of embarrassment and Marian noticed right away.

"What is it?" she asked and poked her head inside the room. There was Carver, breathing heavily into Peaches' mouth. Marian's face turned beet red. First she felt disgusted at the sight. Then she was furious that her little brother had snuck a girl into their home.

"Carver!" Marian yelled and the two lust-filled teens stopped. Peaches bolted for the window and climbed out of it as fast as she could. Marian ran to the window and stuck her head out.

"I'd better not see you in here again!" she yelled out at the scrawny girl running from the house.

"Will you butt out of it?!" Carver snapped.

Marian whipped around to face him. "Are you insane? You're fifteen Carver, and I thought you didn't even like this girl!"

"I don't...not really."

"That's disgusting! You share this room with Fenris now. Oh Maker...was she in here last night too?" She turned her attention to Fenris. He looked away uncomfortably, seeming to not want be caught in the middle of this family dispute.

At that moment, Malcolm poked his head into the door. "What is all this commotion about?" Carver shot Marian a dirty look that read 'Don't you dare', but she completely ignored it.

"Carver had that Peaches girl in here. I cannot unsee what I walked into!" She blurted out.

"You rat! What have I done to you?" Her brother spat at her.

"Carver, is this true?" Malcolm demanded. Carver just turned red and sat on his bed pouting.

"Alright, young man. Tomorrow you are up bright and early. No sleeping in. You are going to be put to extra work for the next week. You're lucky your mother is sleeping, she would be heartbroken to hear of this." Malcolm huffed and turned to his eldest. "Get to your room. There's nothing more to see here."

Marian glanced at Fenris, as if to ask if he would be alright with her moody brother. He simply nodded at her. She turned on her heel and went to her own room, feeling bad that Fenris would have to tolerate an extra moody Carver for the rest of the night.


	7. Deserve

**Fenris**

Before Fenris could make sense of his surroundings a month came and went. The sun arrived each morning just as it always did, but his day didn't truly begin until he saw her. After all, the sun was just a bringer of light, not gladness or safety or peace or the undefinable swelling and fluttering sensation he felt in his chest when she looked into his eyes. Those were things only Marian could give. Those were things that belonged to her, and her alone.

It took awhile for him to come to terms with the way she made him feel, and even longer before he could admit it to himself. Everything was so terrifyingly dizzy and strange. One minute he would be doing some mundane task, the next he would look up and see the edges of her mouth curl upwards and he swore he was flying. With a surge of revelation he discovered that he lived at the corner of Marian's lips. There was no color or life in his surroundings when she frowned. No air for his lungs when she wasn't near. But when she smiled, something stirred within him and his heart filled with an achingly sweet song. It scared and excited Fenris. He wasn't sure whether to run to or from this strange, beautiful girl who was quickly becoming the center of his universe, but something told him to stay.

The slow sameness of his new life was the perfect frame for Marian. He did not need to focus overmuch on things like milking goats or feeding chickens after the first week or so. It left him free to watch her, to fantasize about absurd things that could never happen between them, and to berate himself for entertaining such ridiculous notions. He knew it could only end in ruin and pain.

And they were friends now, even he couldn't deny that. They bonded over labor and life, over their mutual annoyances and pleasures under the Fereldan summer sun. Soon the days would become shorter, colder, but somehow he knew their friendship could withstand the barren of winter.

Marian, as it turned out, adored his dry wit when it made an appearance. She loved to laugh almost as much as he loved making her laugh. So he found himself - much to his surprise - teasing and ribbing her in a good-natured manner. Nothing cruel, but if someone asked where Marian was, he'd tell them "follow the incessant giggling" or "singing merrily with the creatures of the forest" or "smiling at all the flowers in the field." And once he asked her why she would eat her meal when she could just as well become best friends with it. She got a kick out of that, so he began to refer to every object on the farm as her "friends." There was "pail-friend" and "saddle-friend" and "Why are you kicking rock-friend, Marian? What has he ever done to you?"

He would not have given it up for the entire world.

One rainy afternoon he watched her thumb through a book in an armchair from the corner of his eye. Her eyebrows drew themselves together in concentration as she licked her finger and flipped the page. She looked no less than breathtaking to Fenris. If he were a different man, if he were truly free...

Malcolm drummed his fingers impatiently on the table to get his attention. "Call?"

He nodded absently and placed one of his cookies into the pile in the middle. Then turned over a queen. Malcolm revealed a king.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Marian got up and left the room, pulling his attention back into the game. He sighed.

"You look like someone's stolen your puppy." Malcolm mumbled a moment or two later.

Fenris' furrowed his brow. "Beg pardon?"

"She's just left the room, lad. I'm certain she'll return shortly. No need to look so dejected."

Fenris shifted uncomfortably in his seat and tried to combat the heat in his cheeks and ears. Was he that transparent? "I'm not sure what you mean."

"Riiight." the older man winked, placing another cookie in the pile. "She loves daisies."

"Sorry?"

"Daisies. The white flowers with the yellow middles? She fancies them. Her daddy gives them to her on her birthday or something."

"Why tell me this?" Fenris asked, calling the bet.

"I wasn't. But there may be someone within earshot who finds the information relevant to their interests."

Fenris smirked. "I see. And hypothetically, if I was this person, how would you react?"

Malcolm propped his feet up on the table until Leandra came out a second later and glared at him and he scrambled to replace them on the floor. The woman seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to her furniture.

"As Marian's father? I'm not thrilled."

"Ah."

"But as your friend? Everyone deserves a little happiness, don't they?"

Fenris considered it. "Deserving" never entered the picture before, never even crossed his mind until he met Marian and eavesdropped on her candid conversation with her horse. People had or they didn't have. Some people were born into slavery, others into wealth and power. Yet here on the farm it seemed to make some sense. Hard work was rewarded with tangible results; a hearty meal, rest and happy animals. A smile earned likewise and the same. And even the lame animals were fed and taken care of. Everyone's needs were met and everyone pulled their own weight. And though at the end of the day he was physically exhausted, Fenris had a sense of fulfillment and belonging. This was not the cruel world of magisters and slavers, of perversion and sadism and corruption. This was a world of gentleness and altruism and equality. It was frighteningly wonderful.

Marian appeared again from behind a corner and he could not help but smile. A strange thing, that. Malcolm snorted across the table and Fenris straightened his features.

"Daisies." he said thoughtfully and placed another cookie in the pile. Malcolm matched his bet.

Fenris turned over the magician and half expected to see Malcolm curse or gripe, but instead he just nodded approvingly and conceded the pile.

"I'll keep that in mind."

* * *

A week later while they were in town, they witnessed a mage being apprehended by a group of templars. The mage ran to them and tried to hide behind Marian. Fenris grabbed her up in his arms to protect her.

"Please help! My father is very ill, he needs me!" the mage begged.

"Can't we do something?"

His fingers dug into the flesh of Marian's arms and pulled her away from the girl, placing himself between her and the threat.

The Knight-Captain stepped in and silenced the girl before she could cast anything and they took her back to the Chantry for safekeeping until they could escort her to Kinloch Hold.

"Are you alright?" Fenris asked a moment later, releasing his vice-grip on Marian's arm. Her eyes were the size of dinner plates and her forehead was damp with sweat.

"Just a little shaken up." she answered softly.

"She's gone now. You needn't worry."

Hawke stared at him, confused for a moment or two and then she seemed to gather his meaning. "The girl seemed hardly a danger to us. She just wanted to help her father."

Fenris shook his head. "She is a mage. Mages are dangerous and unpredictable. The templars were right to take her."

"Mages are people, Fenris. Just like you and I."

"Mages are certainly not like you and I. They have access to power no man should have." She frowned deeply at his answer. "I know you want to believe the best of everyone, but some people cannot be given the benefit of the doubt."

"So all mages are untrustworthy?"

"It is not a matter of worthiness, Marian. A python might not strangle you, but even so, would you curl him around your neck? Mages need to be caged. For your safety and theirs."

"You don't honestly believe that, do you? That's complete and utter nonsense, Fenris!"

He tried to still his rage. Marian lived a simple life. She was ignorant of the evils of the magic. It was not her fault she was uninformed.

"Try to understand..."

It was the wrong thing to say.

"_Venhedis_!" he shouted, much more loudly than he intended.

He glanced around him. The entire village was staring at them. Cursing under his breath, he took Marian by the wrist and pulled her into an alley. Her eyes looked sharp and wholly unfamiliar in her usually kind face.

He paced before her, his nostrils flaring and his fingers raking through his hair. Her eyes followed him back and forth.

She had to know. He needed to make her understand.

"Well?"

He paused in front of her and rounded his shoulders. There was no sense in keeping it a secret forever. If anyone could understand and accept what he was, it was Marian.

"Look at me, Marian. My hair, my markings... This is the sort of thing free mages do. They inflict pain and suffering in order to gain power. That is their nature. The rest of the world is nothing like your farm. There is cruelty, there is greed, and above all else there is indifference, even moreso where magic is involved. You are not the rule, you are the exception. I am a walking testament to this."

"What do you mean?" Her eyes softened, and he feared for a moment that it was with pity rather than concern. He couldn't handle that from her, not from Marian. He would rather her hate than her pity. "Fenris, you can trust me."

He sighed softly and slumped against the wall. "I know."

He told her everything. He told her about the ritual that created him, about the memories he lost, about his master. He even told her about the fog warriors. To his astonishment, she didn't cast him away or berate him. Perhaps he shouldn't have been surprised. Marian did not have a callous bone in her body.

A part of him was frightened that this information would endanger her, somehow. A part of him would rather keep her ignorant of the treachery and malice of the world he knew. Too much of him was just relieved to have told someone.

"Thank you for sharing that with me." she said, kneeling before him.

He gaped at her, wide-eyed and frightened and amazed. "I have never told anyone before."

"No one?"

"You are the first person I have ever met who wasn't driven by their own personal gain. My first friend."

Marian took him gently by the hand. His instincts told him to pull away, to shield himself from her touch. But when he saw the crestfallen look in her eyes, he tentatively slipped his hand back into hers. They both blushed madly at the contact and it was a long time before either of them could meet the other's gaze again.

Seconds or minutes or hours of silence passed where their hands remained joined together and their hopeful eyes stayed glued to one another's before they realized it was getting late and they needed to return. Acorn huffed quietly as Marian mounted her, but Fenris preferred to walk at her side. Neither of them spoke of mages, Tevinter or slaves again for the remainder of the trip home. In fact, not much was said at all, but it was not an awkward silence. Fenris was simply glad to be near Marian, to have a friend.


	8. The Ferelden Fair

**Jen's notes: In Dragon Age 2, if you play as male Hawke, Carver gets a letter from Peaches in which she says "He looked at me once, that one time at the fair, and I thought I was going to die from happiness." about Hawke. I was curious about what this fair would be like. Here is the result.**

**Marian**

The next week proved to be most difficult for Marian. She tried her best to keep her mind focused on her work. But no matter what she did, no matter how many chickens she fed or how many hours were spent labouring in the fields, Fenris appeared in her thoughts. This was a real problem for Marian. What he said about mages, his words, no matter where their origin came from, hurt her. She had been hopelessly falling for him ever since the two of them met, and now she knew they could never have a future for what she was. She would never be able to confide in him, tell him her darkest secrets and most painful memories, because he would undoubtedly cast her aside. She would remind herself of these things over and over again whenever she caught him looking her way, but then the memory of them holding hands would creep in, and she would be lost in fond thoughts of wondering what it would feel like to kiss him. She was a fool - she knew this. It was only going to lead to heartache.

The Fereldan Fair was upon them, and everyone was busy preparing for the annual event. It was held at summer's end each year. Merchants from neighboring towns would come with their goods and wares, and everyone would take the day off to dance, drink, and spend their coin. Leandra was busy all morning preparing a pie for the pie contest. She won the previous two years and was desperately trying to outdo herself. She made her whole family, including Fenris, taste many different samples over the week until she found just the right mixture of ingredients.

Fenris seemed put off by the idea of attending an event that would have him surrounded by a large crowd, but Malcolm insisted that he go. All six of them set off in the late afternoon.

When they arrived, it seemed most of the town had already gathered. The streets were bustling with activities. There were vendors selling just about everything imaginable. Food and drink stands were everywhere in sight. Off in the distance, Marian could see the archery and jousting contests. It seemed that this year would be the biggest and grandest event yet.

Leandra and Malcolm went off to enter her pie in the contest. Bethany ran into a few of her friends right away. They were talking to a new boy in town. Marian watched as Bethany blushed furiously every time he spoke and she just shook her head and laughed. Carver was already being followed by Peaches, whom Marian now detested. She walked off, Fenris trailing behind her.

"What are we supposed to do?" he asked her, looking around at everything. Marian turned and saw that he appeared to be rather overwhelmed by the amount of people and events happening at once.

"Want to grab a drink first?"

"I think I may very well need one."

"And the day's only just begun," she teased. They made their way to an wine vendor, which had six or seven different types of wine. They both decided on a red Orlesian, and their glasses were poured. They took their glasses and wandered to a few stalls. Marian brought the wine to her lips and took a sip. It was rich and had a warmth to it. She found a book vendor, and began to flip through some of the pages. She turned and saw Fenris looking off in the distance.

"Fenris?"

"I will return shortly. Don't go anywhere," he said with a smile. Marian brought her attention back to the books. She looked them over for a few minutes, before deciding which one she wanted. She handed over some coin to the merchant, and tucked the book into her pack. When she turned around, Fenris was standing directly behind her. She jumped, unaware that he was so close.

"How long were you standing there?" she asked, laughing a little at how easily she frightened.

"Not very long." Marian noticed he had one hand behind his back.

"What do you have there?"

"This." Fenris pulled out a white daisy, her very favorite flower.

"Oh Fenris..."

"I could only afford the one. I hope you like it."

"Daisies are my favorite. However did you know?" Fenris gave a sly smile.

"I have my ways. Here." He reached forward, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He placed the flower there, so it peaked out just above where her hair was tucked. Fenris stared intently into her eyes, and Marian blushed.

They walked silently for a few minutes, the whole time Marian's heart was racing. She felt content just being next to him. They approached an area with several large men, who were looking for contestants to participate in a sparring competition.

"You there! Try your luck against Ripper?" A man asked, nodding in the direction of a huge brute. Ripper was a bald man of about 6'7. His skin was badly scarred and he had a thick black mustache.

"No, I'd rather not." Fenris said, barely paying attention.

"There's a prize if you win, pretty baubles for the ladyfriend. You like baubles don't you, girl?" Hawke blushed. Fenris turned to her, and saw her coy smile.

"Why not show these thugs a thing or two? I doubt he'll be much competition." She winked at him.

"Very well." Fenris said, about to enter the ring that was drawn on the grass.

"You'll need to leave your weapon behind." The wrangler said, pointing to Fenris' sword. "We supply you with a wooden one."

"Give it to me, I'll watch it for you." Fenris apprehensively unsheathed his sword and handed it to Marian. She stepped away and stood with the rest of the crowd that gathered. Fenris picked up the wooden substitute, and looked towards Ripper, who was cracking his knuckles and smirking.

As soon as the flag fell, his opponent lunged toward him, blade raised high. Fenris ducked effortlessly out of the way and Ripper nearly lost his footing. Fenris pivoted and tapped him on the back with the end of the wooden sword.

"A touch." Fenris smirked.

"Fair enough. But it won't happen again."

"We shall see."

Ripper preferred to keep the offensive, backing Fenris around the circle like a cornered animal. He swept his sword in a low arc. Fenris danced away and behind the man. This time, tapping him on the neck.

"You're making me look bad." Ripper said from between his teeth.

"Oh?"

"I'll get you this time."

"Will you?"

The man swung frantically at Fenris, a flurry of slashes and thrusts which looked like they might actually hurt if they made contact, though it didn't look to Hawke to be the best strategy. He whipped the sword in front of him, it whistled across the air. Fenris seemed content to simply dip out of the way, perhaps taunting him a little.

"Come here! Fight me!"

Fenris allowed one corner of his lips to drift steadily upward. Then at once he lifted his sword and knocked the man's weapon clean from his hands. He poked him once in the gut for good measure, in case there was any doubt who the winner was.

"I believe I won." he said, smugly.

Ripper panted heavily, red-faced and jaw-clenched. Eventually he nodded and said "True."

The crowd began to holler and cheer.

"Way to go knife-ear!" a drunk man slurred.

Marian began to clap with the rest of the crowd, until she spotted someone she was desperately hoping to avoid. Her heart dropped when she saw him. He stood across from her with his all too familiar red hair and blue eyes, staring and scowling at her. She didn't even see Fenris take his place beside her.

"Marian?" He broke her attention and she turned to him. Fenris handed her a bracelet made of cheap steel. "I believe this is for you." She gave him a faint smile, and stuck out her wrist so Fenris could place it on her. As he slid the jewelry on, she looked at that familiar yet tormenting face that was still gawking at her. She felt sick. She handed Fenris his sword.

"Can we get out of here?"

"Of course."

They quickly moved past the crowd of people. Fenris had to lope to catch up with her.

"What's wrong?" he asked and she just shook her head.

"Nothing, I just wanted to look around elsewhere."

"You look as if you've seen a ghost. Don't lie to me." Fenris grabbed her arm, and forced her to turn to him.

"I just...I saw someone I'd rather not talk to. That's all."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Let's go and see how Mother's pie turned out, shall we?"

The two of them made their way to the pie station taking a spot beside Bethany, just as Leandra was declared the winner. Her whole face was aglow, and Malcolm gave her a congratulatory kiss. The middle aged woman beside her sulked and crossed her arms like a child who had her favorite toy taken away.

It was beginning to get dark, which meant families with small children were making their way home. A stage was being set up and performers were practising before it was their time to shine. Out of the corner of her eye, Marian saw Peaches leading Carver by the hand away from the crowd. She exhaled, not wanting to think of what her little brother was getting himself involved with.

"Dear, what is it?" Leandra asked, oblivious to what was going on. The five of them were sitting at a table together, finishing a meal.

"Oh, nothing, Mother. Just had a little too much sun is all."

"I'm going to find my friends again." Bethany announced.

"I hope this doesn't have anything to do with that boy I saw you speaking with earlier." Malcolm replied sternly.

"Father, please!" she exclaimed, turning red in the face.

"It's okay, dear. Go find your friends." Leandra nudged her husband.

"Stay in sight, Bethany!" Marian called out as she ran off.

"You seem awfully on edge tonight. Something I should know?" Malcolm asked.

"No, everything's fine."

"I'm not convinced." Marian gave her father a peck on the cheek.

"You needn't worry about a thing." She was a convincing actor, but Marian had a gut-wrenching feeling. She watched Bethany from afar. As long as she was in sight, it would be alright.

Soon, a lutenist, lyre player, and singer took the stage. Couples took their place in front, as a beautiful ballad began to play. Malcolm took Leandra's hand and he lead her in a dance. Marian watched and smiled, finding it endearing that after so many years of marriage, her parents were still very much in love.

"Will you dance with me, Fenris?" She asked the elf, as they sat silently at the table.

"Dance?"

"Yes, dance." Fenris stared off at the couples, before looking down at his feet.

"No, I do not wish to make a fool of myself in public tonight."

"Oh." Marian could not hide the disappointment in her voice, as she looked off in the distance. No more than a minute passed, when Fenris grabbed her by the hand.

"Come with me." he said. She stood and followed him away from the crowd. He took her to a large oak tree, away from prying eyes. The music could still be heard faintly in the distance.

His eyes softened. "You said you wished to dance. I am here." A huge grin came across her face. "No promises that I will be any good at it, but I think I saw enough to understand how it goes."

At that moment, Fenris took her hand and placed it on his shoulder. he wrapped his hand softly around her back, and began to lead her to the music. Marian was surprised at just how gracefully he moved. She peered up into his green eyes which shone back at her.

"You're rather good at this Fenris. Are you sure you haven't done this before?" He shook his head.

"No, I have not. You are the first."

"Well, I am glad your first dance could be with me." She noticed that he did not stiffen or squirm at her touch anymore. He had come such a long way since she first invited him into her life. They never took their eyes off one another, silently moving to the rhythm of the song.

All too soon, the instrumentals ended and cheering could be heard from the distance. Marian and Fenris stopped dancing, but their hands remained where they were. She stared at him, and his gaze never left her. The moment was almost perfect, and Marian she knew just what to do to make it flawless. She leaned forward, and gently touched her lips to his.

She waited, not moving to see what his response would be, and to her delight Fenris kissed her back. His mouth claimed hers, and his hands gently cupped her face. Marian sighed into him as she felt her world spinning. He tasted sweet, like the wine they were drinking. The kiss ended, and when he pulled away, she felt empty. She had wanted it to last forever. Despite her momentary sadness, she could not stop smiling.

"Shall we grab another drink?" he asked her, and Marian nodded. Linking his hand in hers, they made their way back to the vendors.

"You find us a seat, and I will grab the drinks." Fenris said, walking off. She watched him wander in the distance, and let out a sigh. Before she could find a spot for them to sit, a cold hand grabbed at her arm. She looked up and saw familiar blue eyes staring down at her. He pulled her away behind a building, where no one could see them.

"Well hello, Marian. It's been awhile. How's the family?"

"Victor." she said, barely above a whisper.

"I don't see you around town so much anymore. Not at night, at least. I thought you liked me."

"Let go of me, you filthy creep!" Marian tugged her arm out of his hand, only to have him inch closer to her.

"Now, that wasn't very nice of you, especially since you know what I am capable of. I thought I saw Bethany around earlier. She's growing up fast. Soon she'll be almost as pretty as you."

"Leave her alone."

"Who was that knife-ear I saw you with? Looks like you two are getting awfully friendly. Not sure if I like the idea of that, much." Victor cowered over her. He was a strong man, much stronger than her. He had been trained well in combat, but she was sure he wouldn't try anything now with so many people around the corner.

"He is none of your concern."

"But you are. It's been six months since I last saw you up close like this. I think I've waited long enough, don't you?" He went to pull her towards him when suddenly he was knocked to the ground.

He looked up, stunned for a moment to see Fenris standing over top of him, staring at him with menacing eyes.

"You will leave now." he spat at the red-haired man.

Victor pushed himself back to his feet. "I think I will decide when I'm ready to go." he growled, leering over Fenris.

"I said you will leave. It would be most unwise for you to stay." Fenris' tattoos started to glow, and Marian gasped.

"Keep your freak, Marian. I'm going to see if Bethany wants some company," he said as he angrily stalked off.

"Shit, I need to get to Bethany." Marian said, about to run, when Fenris grabbed her arm and held her back.

"Who was that? Was he the one you were trying to avoid?"

"Let go of me! We have to find her, please!" she begged him pleading with her eyes.

"Why are you so afraid of him, what did he do to you? I can see that pained look in your eyes, Marian, I know it too well. Did he...did he hurt you? Tell me." He demanded, and Marian looked down, tears forming in her eyes.

"I thought he was my friend. I trusted him, and betrayed my family. When he found out my secret, he used it against me. Used it to hurt me. Said if I didn't cooperate, he'd tell his father, a templar. Said he'd go after Bethany next. I didn't know what to do, Fenris." Tears fell freely from her face. She felt so ashamed.

"Does anyone else know what he did?"

"Only Bethany. I didn't tell her exactly what, but I told her to stay away from him. I haven't come into town after nightfall since..." she trailed off.

"I will kill him!" Fenris yelled, about to stalk away to find Victor. Marian frantically grabbed his arm.

"No! You can't hurt him. Please."

"And why not? He put his hands on you, Marian. For every foul deed, there must be a consequence."

"You don't understand, his father is a templar!"

"Yes, you already said that. What significance is that? It will not stop me from ripping his heart out!"

"Please," she begged. Marian knew this was it. She had to come clean with Fenris, had to make him understand. She silently said goodbye to any false hopes of a future with him, any dreams of more precious kisses to come.

"Well, what is it?" he demanded.

"My father, Bethany, and I... we're not like you Fenris. If Victor's father were to find out..."

"Find out about what?"

"This." She opened her palm, and let it burn with a flame. The flame diminished, as soon as it had started.

"We're mages Fenris. And nobody can know." She looked up at him, and his eyes widened as he stepped back.


	9. Worth

**Thank you so much for all your kind reviews and for reading along. The response to this story has been overwhelmingly positive. We're both really glad you're enjoying it and we hope we can continue to keep you entertained. Allow me to reward you with...::drumroll::...another chapter! :D**

**-Shinkshinkshink**

**Fenris**

A mage. Of course she was. His luck would dictate such a thing.

Her eyes glittered, bluer than anything he'd ever seen, bluer than the twilight hue of the sky itself. Wetness accused him from the corners, but didn't fall down her fair cheeks. He could still smell the smoke from her conjured flame, and the bitter ozone scent of magic. He shook his head, raising his fingers to his hair, turning away.

"Please don't go." she pleaded, reaching out to place a tentative hand on his shoulder. He jerked away from her.

"No. No I..." he didn't finish that sentence. He needed to get away from here. He needed to get away from her and away from all this noise. He stalked off toward the fields, and when the music and voices were far enough away that he could hear his own thoughts, he descended to the grass.

That kiss...

He could still taste her lips upon him, could smell the soap and vanilla scent of her hair, could feel the lazy roll of her sugar-sweet tongue over his. She felt perfect in his arms, just as he expected. Right before magic took even that moment from him.

Magic was her curse, too.

He clenched his fists at his side. Even now he wished he could tear that pockmarked barbarian's spine from his body for touching her. He was outraged that someone would lay a finger on Marian.

He stood and gritted his teeth. For the moment, it didn't matter what Marian was. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. It startled him to think that way. Perhaps Malcolm was rubbing off on him, after all. If he didn't believe it for himself, he wanted it for her. He would find this pathetic excuse for a human and crush him. He had to.

He stormed across the field toward the bustling of villagers and bards and merchants. The smell of fire curled into his nostrils. They were building a bonfire in the center of town. The festivities would soon come to an end.

Malcolm stepped into his way as he cross through the green. "Fenris!" a lopsided grin plastered over his features and a mug in his right hand. He teetered a little bit and some of the amber liquid sloshed over the side. "What's the hurry? Hey...is this mead something, or what?"

"Where's Marian?" he asked, in no mood for socializing.

"You mean she's not with you?"

Fenris said nothing, simply pushed past Malcolm into the square. He caught sight of Bethany with some friends by a fruitmonger, she waved as she saw him approach.

"Fenris, this is my friend..." she began.

"Where is your sister?"

Bethany drew her brows together. "I haven't seen her. Is she missing?"

He felt a growl start in his chest, but he sighed instead. "If you see her, come find me."

She was not in Dane's Refuge, she was not in the Chantry, she was not in the pagoda. She was not anywhere. He was beginning to worry when Carver stepped out from behind Barlin's shed, Peaches giggling in tow with grass in her hair and green staining the knees of both their breeches. He frowned as he spotted Fenris.

"What do you want, elf?"

"Where's Marian?"

"Just saw her a minute ago with some ginger bloke. Seemed in a hurry."

He moved forward to clutch Carver's collars in his fist. "Where did they go?"

He gave him a frightened look, his bottom lip quivering at the menace in Fenris' eyes. "I don't know! They went that way!"

Fenris let go of him. The boy's fear turned to fury as he did and he pushed the elf weakly on the shoulders. "Don't ever touch me, you arse!"

Fenris ignored him and raced in her direction, toward the wood. He only hoped he would not be too late.

His head explored a menagerie of unwelcome thoughts. How he was not there to protect her, how he should have killed the coward when he had the chance, how she might be hurt already, how he could never forgive himself if she was.

He searched for any kind of sign of her, a discarded ribbon or shoe. He almost missed the white petal, cradled in the grass. As he bent closer to inspect it, there was no mistaking the flower of origin. A daisy. _Clever Marian._ There were more petals trailing into the forest, like a sick, sad game of "he loves me, he loves me not." Did she leave this for him? A trail to lead him to her? Did Marian believe in him even now?

He followed the path urgently into the dark of wending branches. His eyes took longer than he cared for to adjust to their surroundings but when they did he saw the bark scarred where a hand might've gripped onto it for purchase, the sap still sticky. Did the brute mean to rape her in the woods? He saw the leaves on the ground freckled with blood and further ahead, the red threads from the hem of her dress. After not much longer in pursuit he could hear his voice - _the louse_ - though he could not make out the words. He followed it silently, his sword already drawn before he noticed himself reach for it.

"I'm going to make you forget that elf, Marian." Marian yelped as her eyes fell upon Fenris. Victor had his back to him, his palm clamped down over Marian's mouth while his other reached down to unlace his breeches. A sneer formed over Fenris' face. "I'm going to fuck him right out of your pretty little head."

"That will not be happening." Fenris said, stepping into the clearing, his markings aglow.

Victor stepped away from Marian and turned, his lips quirked up in a brazen smirk. "So we meet again. Marian dear, it looks like we'll have to postpone our fun."

Fenris scowled and spat at the pervert's feet. "You will not touch her."

"Do you intend to stop me?"

"That is what the sword implies."

The bastard gave a bemused chuckle and reached to his sides to pull out a pair of daggers. "Very well."

"Please, don't do this! I'm not worth it." Marian cried.

"Hush, Marian." Fenris said, not unkindly. "This will be over soon." She clucked something like a whimper and backed away, slumping against the tree to palm her face.

The man, Victor rushed toward Fenris at full speed. He was fast, but Fenris was faster. He did a tight turn and swung his sword. It crashed against Victor's scissored daggers with a clang. Fenris bore down hard onto him, but the other man didn't let up.

Victor did a wild flourish with his blades as a distraction and tried to kick Fenris' legs out from under him. Fenris leapt keenly out of the way, bringing his sword down in a smooth, whistling arc that would have sundered his enemy if he didn't roll at the last possible second. He did another half turn and threw one of his daggers at Fenris. The elf ducked out the way and grinned.

"Foolish." he said and closed the gap, jamming his sword between Victor's ribs.

Victor backed away from Fenris, staring down at the foreign object protruding from his middle with astonishment. He croaked and lifted his fingers to touch the blood spilling out of him, then turned to Marian. "Bitch!"

"That's enough out of you." Fenris said. He grabbed the hilt of his sword and turned it, spraying himself with a fine mist of blood and gore. He placed a stabilizing foot on Victor's thigh and pulled it from his belly, kicking his victim to the ground.

He wiped his blade on the front of Victor's shirt and turned back to Marian. She cowered against the tree, the bodice of her dress was torn and the straps fell loosely over her shoulder.

"Are you hurt?" he asked making his way to her side.

"Just my heart." she said into her knees.

Fenris extended a hand to her and she hesitantly took it. He lifted her to her feet. Her lip was swollen and broken in the middle where the fiend probably struck her. Fenris looked away, ashamed that he wasn't there to protect her from even this small injury.

"Your father will be looking for us by now." he said softly. She nodded and began following him out of the wood.

* * *

Malcolm saw her across the green and ran to them, grasping his daughter up in his arms. He was shaking, either from drink or fear or both. "Marian! Oh Maker, I was worried sick."

"I'm fine, Dad." she said.

"She is not." Fenris said. "That is my fault."

Malcolm furrowed his brow and looked down into her face. "What happened, Marian?"

She told him the whole gory tale, even the part where Fenris discovered their secret, sparing only the minor detail about their dance and the kiss. By the end Marian and Malcolm were both in tears, embracing each other hard. He pulled Fenris in for a group hug, but Fenris jerked away.

"Is there a problem?" Malcolm asked.

"A _problem_?" Fenris laughed bitterly. "Perhaps you could have mentioned sooner what you are, what all of you are."

"Don't you talk about my family that way, you bastard!" Carver snapped. "And you'd better keep your mouth shut or I'll..."

"Quiet, boy." Malcolm said. He fixed his eyes upon Fenris, stern but patient. "So, you know the family secret. What do you intend to do?"

Fenris hadn't thought that far. He shook his head.

"He won't tell anyone. Will you, Fenris?" Marian asked, but it was almost like begging. Her eyes looked wetter now, limpid pools of magic and Fade and sea. The orange light of flame painted her skin in strange ways, alluring to the eye and with just a hint of danger. "Please, Fenris."

He stared at her feet because he could not look in her eyes.

He felt it was his duty to mankind to tell the templars. Mages were dangerous. It was the one thing he'd always known to be true. All it would take was a demon persuasive enough to sway her, and even Marian could become an abomination or worse, a blood mage. No mage was above the influence.

And yet, she seemed content with her life as it was. Rising with the sun, feeding animals, eating dinner with her family. None of the Hawkes ever expressed any desire to be anything but left to live their lives in peace. She'd only ever been kind and gentle with him. He was the one threatening them.

His eyes darted back to hers which were overfull with emotion and tears. He could not betray Marian. "I will not."

A universal sigh of relief sounded.

"Will you stay, knowing what we are?" Malcolm asked.

"I don't know." he said.

At this point, Marian looked away and buried her face in her hands. Malcolm pulled her into his arms and petted her hair. "I understand if you want to leave. I have some coin saved up. I will pay you for your labor and your silence. Though..." he faltered for a second. "Though I hope you will consider staying."

"Please say you'll stay, Fenris." Bethany smiled gently at him.

"Well, I don't care. Good riddance if you go." Carver huffed.

He thought about it, but the whirlpool of angry, terrifying thoughts could not be stilled. Stay in a house full of mages? Madness.

And yet, there was Marian, their kiss. She would be devastated and he couldn't say he'd be any better.

"Sleep on it. Perhaps tomorrow we can talk some more." Malcolm said.

Another kindness. That was not what Fenris wanted. He wanted Malcolm and his family to yell and scream at him. He wanted them to show themselves for the beasts they were, but all they did was the opposite. It was maddening.

Marian peeked at him from over her shoulder, her face red and swollen, such hope in her eyes.

He sighed and nodded, and followed them silently back to the farm.

* * *

After they got home and cleaned themselves off, everyone was ready to retire. It was late, and they were exhausted. Marian gave him a tortured look from down the hall on her way to her room. "I hope you'll decide to stay." she said tremulously, disappearing behind her door.

Carver pushed past him to get into his room - their shared room, for now - and plopped down on his mattress with a huff. Fenris climbed into the bunk above him, eager to be alone with his thoughts.

Every two or three minutes the boy would sigh or growl or make some exasperated noise, or flop over on his bed.

"You awake?" he finally asked, almost an hour later.

Fenris grunted in reply.

Carver growled and sighed some more. "Thanks for helping my sister." he muttered. "And for not telling on her to the templars."

"It is nothing." Then a moment or two later the huffing and puffing began again. Fenris groaned. "What now?"

"I don't like you and I don't care what you do, but..." he paused for a beat. "Marian likes you. You should stay for her."

Fenris did not know how to respond to that.

He wanted to stay. He wanted to forget that Marian was a mage. He wanted to go back to believing she was just a kind person who cared for him, for no reason whatsoever. There was a place in his chest that still filled up at the sound of her name, at the thought of their kiss. That place felt empty now that he wasn't near her. He couldn't begin to understand it. He knew that the sun would rise tomorrow, against his heart's protest. Life would go on whether or not he stayed. If he didn't he'd leave a piece of himself behind, but if he did, it could only end in pain for them all.

Carver was already asleep, snoring loudly. It would take a kick to his face to wake him from his deep slumber.

Fenris let himself down from the bunkbed. He took his few belongings, his leather, his sword, his belt and what little coin he had. He crept across the room and pushed open the door, cursing the creaky hinges as they groaned warning of his betrayal. Quietly, he stole down the hall and out the door.

There was a chill in the air, a crisp breeze bathed him and caused the hairs on his arms to rise. Crickets sang their lonely song and the grasses swayed in the fields under the low, crescent moon. A cat darted under the porch.

He made his way out to the stable, ashamed for what he was about to do. Acorn whuffed as he cleared the door behind him. He stroked her nose and whispered words in Arcanum to her until she quieted down.

Fenris undid the latch to her pen and stepped through to bridle her and fix her saddle on. The horse bobbed her head anxiously and stamped the dirt with her hooves.

It will be better this way. Fenris decided. _She will be too angry to be hurt. She will forget me in time, even if I cannot forget her._

He slung the sack of all his worldly possessions over the side of the horse and began to climb into the saddle.

"Fenris? What are you..." her voice rang quiet but clear from the entrance. He didn't hear her coming, too lost in his own thoughts. He dropped his head in shame. "Oh." she said softly. "I see."

His heart broke into a million jagged pieces.

He turned fully to face her, but found his eyes could not meet her gaze, not for the first time that day.

"I'm sorry." he said.

She smiled weakly at him and sat down on a bale of hay. "I understand. I only wish you came to say goodbye first."

"It is better this way." he said, this time aloud.

She nodded, a crystal tear slipping down the side of her nose into her lap. "I won't stop you. Take care of Acorn for me, will you?"

He looked away. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be asleep. He should have been gone by now.

"Just humor me with one more silly question." He watched her from the corner of his eyes, her knees drawn up to her chest. "Did you ever...did you feel the same way? About me, I mean?"

"Yes." he said, without hesitation. If he were honest with himself, he still did despite himself. "Does that make it better?"

"No. How could it?" She gave a painful little laugh. "But some things are worth the pain, I think. This is one of those things."

Worth the pain. He clutched his chest, as though he were impaled by her words. Another thing Malcolm taught her, he guessed. There was truth in it, beautiful and powerful and brutal in its simplicity.

"Worth" was another thing he was just beginning to understand. Not just worth as in the skin on his back that made his master hunt him, not just the value of coin in his pocket that earned his food and lodging. Some things you are meant to endure because there is _reward_ in enduring. The sweat of a day's labor was worth it for the meal and rest that came after. Taking a stranger in, feeding him and clothing him was worth it for the happiness it brought your daughter. Spending coin he didn't have on a flower was worth it for the smile it won from her.

Staying was worth it, if only to know the end.

He dropped his bag at his feet and crossed the room to her, fell to his knees before her and took her hands in his. "Marian." he whispered.

She peeked up at him from under dark, wet eyelashes, her eyes swollen and ringed red from crying. He reached out to swipe away a tear with the pad of his thumb. With ragged breath he picked himself up to lean over her, his hand flat against the splintered wall behind her. He mashed his lips against hers, hard. She whimpered as he stole her tongue into his mouth and massaged it with his own. He was not as gentle as he should have been, especially with her injured lip, but she was sweet, so sweet and he wanted her desperately, thoroughly. Magic and all. It hurt, but it was worth it. He was certain she would agree.

When he pulled away, his breath came shallow, puffed hard over her mouth as he rested his forehead against hers, dragged his thumb over the swell of her swollen and cut lip. He clutched her cheeks with both hands. She slid her fingers through his and smiled even through her tears.

"Marian, _you_ are one of those things."


	10. First Time

His words echoed in her ears, and Marian couldn't help but smile. Fenris thought she was worth it, despite that she was a mage, despite that he had packed his belongings and was ready to leave in the middle of the night. She looked up at him through her teary lashes, and what she saw back was complete and total adoration in his eyes. He cupped her face and wiped the remaining tears away.

"Fenris..." she whispered.

"Yes, Marian?"

"Please, don't leave." When she saw him standing there with his bag, readying Acorn with her saddle, her heart felt as if it sank into her feet. Her entire body went numb, and her knees went weak, which is why she was sitting on a bale of hay.

"I was being foolish. I will not leave your side." He said, as he lifted one of her hands and began to kiss each knuckle tenderly, as if he had done it hundreds of times before. She began to smile, and when she did her lip hurt, as if it was splitting all over again.

"Your lip, it's bothering you, isn't it?"

"A little, amidst all the drama I forgot to heal myself. Do you mind if I do it now?" she asked, hesitant to even suggest it. Fenris simply nodded. She pressed one of her fingers to her lips and felt the familiar warmth of her healing spell. Her lip closed instantly. Fenris stared at her the entire time.

"Did that upset you?"

"Magic makes me uncomfortable at best, but I realize that it does have its advantages. This is one of them." He leaned forward and brought his lips to hers once again, this time much more aggressively due to her lip being healed. She felt his hands in her hair and she softly sighed as his tongue entered her mouth. She pulled away and gave him a smile. She was still sitting on the bale, and he was awkwardly leaning over to kiss her. Marian stood and took his hand in hers.

"Here, let's get a little more comfortable." She climbed up the ladder into the hayloft. Fenris smirked and joined her.

"You did sleep up here that one night. I figure it might be a little more comfortable." Fenris lay on his side, and Marian did the same, facing him. They began to kiss again, and her hands clasped at the back of his neck. His tongue gently slid in between her open lips, as if to taste her. She pressed her own tongue against his, and they began to circle each other in a dance. Fenris held her tight against him, and she noticed how strong his arms felt around her. For the first time in her life, she felt safe. It was an unfamiliar feeling. She had been in hiding her entire life. but with this brave warrior, caressing her body as he kissed her, Marian felt that all was right in the world. Her tormenter lay dead in the woods, he would not be back to hurt her or her family ever again. She owed it all to Fenris. She wanted to tell him just how much he meant to her, how devastated she would have been if he had left, but for now she was content being in his arms.

Soon their breathing became laboured, and she could feel his arousal against her legs. It made her feel desired and wanted. His hands began to roam over her body, gently caressing her side. He grazed one across her belly, and stilled it just under her breast.

"Is this alright?" he asked politely.

"Yes," she whispered. Fenris cupped her breast over her nightgown, and gently squeezed the tender flesh. His touch was so soft, unlike Victor who hurt her with every movement. She had only been with a man that one time, when he raped her. She wanted everything to be different with Fenris. She wanted to please him, but she was afraid. Her body responded to his touch, her loins were tingling and she wanted relief, but she would let him take his time. There was no immediate rush to get things over and done with right away.

She began to kiss him more aggressively, and he rolled on top of her. He lay in between her legs, and his hands went up her nightgown. Fenris' fingers began to tease one of her nipples, making the bud harden at his touch. Marian sighed softly, sucking on his lower lip. He let his hand trail down, and his fingers caressed her folds over her undergarment. His long fingers began to rub her in a way that was completely foreign to her. It felt incredible, but she needed to talk to him before things went further.

"Wait."

Fenris removed his hand from under the dress. "What is it?"

"You should know something. I've only ever done this one time, and...you know how that went." She said, avoiding his glance and feeling her cheeks burn with embarrassment. He turned her chin so that she was looking at him.

"You've never consented to this, and you wish for your first time to be with me?" He asked, sounding puzzled. She nodded. "We should wait."

"Why? I thought you wanted to - "

Fenris cut her off with a kiss. "Your first time should not be in a hayloft Marian. It should be somewhere nice. Perhaps in a bed." His eyes were intent on hers and he stroked her cheek. "I will tell you something about myself. I too, have never consented. My first will be with you as well."

"Oh Fenris..." she sighed, and held onto him tightly. She wanted to cry. The thought of somebody hurting him made her feel sick. She kissed him once again and when they pulled away she looked into his green eyes.

"Can we still kiss like this? I am rather enjoying myself." she asked, and Fenris chuckled low in his throat.

"As am I." His lips returned to hers and she slipped her tongue into his mouth. Marian ran her hands up and down his back. She could feel his erection pressing into her legs, and she wanted to feel more of it. She wrapped her legs around his back and he groaned.

"You are testing my willpower, Marian."

"But...this feels so good. Please, just a little more."

He grunted and started to kiss her neck, a spot that had never been caressed by a mouth before. She moaned quietly, and as she did, Fenris began to grind his member against her smalls. He was hitting that sensitive spot between her legs, and she mewled with pleasure. She had never experienced this kind of sensation before, and while they were still clothed, it felt amazing. She panted loudly in Fenris' ear.

"Does this feel good?" he asked.

"Maker, yes. So good."

"It does for me as well." He began to move his hips back and forth, and every time his body met hers she moaned. She could feel that she had soaked her smalls, and her legs were beginning to tremble. A pressure in her loins began to grow, and her hands clamped down on his shoulders, panting in his ear.

"Fenris!" she cried, feeling her climax ripple throughout her entire body. Wave after wave of excitement took ahold of her, and she could not control the sounds that were coming out of her mouth; sounds she didn't even recognise as her own. Her breathing slowed after a few moments, and when she opened her eyes Fenris was staring down at her, his movements slowed.

"Did you just...?"

"Yeah." she nodded, and spoke in a breathy voice. Fenris chuckled. He flopped onto his back and held her close. Marian looked up at him, puzzled.

"Don't you want to...um...finish?"

"Marian, it will take more than that for me to 'finish' and I don't want to tempt myself into going against what I said earlier. Just relax, let me hold you for now, until we have to get up."

Marian let out a contented sigh, and lay her head against his chest. Her eyes were heavy and she let them close. She felt at peace in Fenris' arms. She slowly drifted off, her breathing heavy. Before sleep completely took over, she heard Fenris whisper "I am yours."

* * *

She awoke to Fenris nudging her softly. "Marian, wake up. It's almost dawn. We should go back inside."

"Hmm...alright then." she yawned and stretched her limbs. Fenris climbed down the ladder first, and held her hand, assisting her down. He gave her a quick kiss, before they both went inside.

They entered the house as quietly as possible, although the floors creaked loudly beneath their feet. When she was at her bedroom door, she shot Fenris a big smile before turning in. She climbed into her bed and as she did, Bethany awoke.

"Marian, where were you?" she asked groggily.

"Just needed some fresh air. Go back to sleep."

"What is that in your hair? Is that hay?" Marian reached up and pulled bits of it out and tossed them to the ground.

"Don't worry about it. Go to sleep. You know father will make you get up soon." The younger Hawke turned over and fell back asleep, and shortly after, so did Marian.

Her father let her stay in bed that morning, given the traumatic turn of events that happened the previous night. When she rose from her deep sleep it was about noon. She quickly got dressed and joined everyone at the table as Leandra was just serving lunch.

"Fenris dear, you have some hay in your hair," Leandra softly laughed. He reached up and found a strand. Bethany looked at Fenris, then back at Marian in shock, and Marian kicked her lightly under the table.

Just as they were finishing their meal, there was a loud bang at the door. Malcolm opened it, and in stepped Ser Bryant.

"Good day to you Malcolm. I am here on official business. I'm afraid I have some bad news."

"Which is?" Malcolm asked, cautiously.

"There was a terrible murder last night. Ser Henry's boy. Found his body this morning. The bastard really did a number on him."

"That's terrible." Malcolm said in a horrified voice. It was clear this was not the first time he had to feign an emotion, as his act was quite believable.

"Nice boy too. His father is devastated. There is a cold-blooded murderer amidst Lothering, and the Templars will not rest until he is found. There will be a town meeting at the hall in about four hours time. At least one member per household is expected to attend."

"My wife and I will be there." Malcolm replied. With a nod of his head, Ser Bryant left. An unwelcoming silence filled the room. Carver stared at Fenris, and Fenris blankly stared at his feet.

"Well then," Malcolm said, breaking the tension. "Leandra and I will find out what information they have. I suggest you stay out of town the next while, Fenris. You are a stranger after all, and strangers often get the blame of these sorts of things."

"But there were tons of strangers here last night, Father. Most of the stall vendor's were from out of town." Marian interjected.

"That is true, but there is no need to take the risk," Malcolm said, rubbing his daughter's back reassuringly.

Marian spent the day inside, helping her mother around the house. The hours went by, and Malcolm and Leandra were just getting ready to leave when Bethany came up to them.

"Can I come into town please? I promise I won't get into any trouble. I just want to see my friends."

"Of course you can dear." Leandra said.

"This better not be about that new boy." Malcolm protested.

"I'm not a baby anymore." she whined.

"Stay at Elise's house. That is where we will pick you up when we are done. You are not to leave, do you understand, Bethany?" She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Yes, Father. I promise."

Marian and Fenris were working in the fields shortly after they departed. She had a bucket and was derooting the corn to bring inside, while Fenris worked on a fence that was in need of repair. The sun was hanging low in the sky. She looked up and caught Fenris staring at her. He quickly turned his attention back to the fence. Images of the night prior had been plaguing her thoughts the entire day. It was near impossible for her to get any work done. She watched Fenris, saw how his muscles contracted as he moved his strong arms, and noticed how his intricate markings wound around them. She imagined him being on top of her again, and found herself wondering what it would feel like to have him moving in and out of her. He turned and looked at her again, and she began to blush, realising that she had been staring at him the entire time. The sun was starting to set behind him, and it cast an orange glow over his features. Fenris smiled, and she felt her heart race. Those brilliant green eyes of his sparkled at her and she smiled back.

Carver came through the front door, heading in the direction of town.

"Where are you going?" Marian called after him.

"I have plans."

"With Peaches?" she smirked.

"Not that it's any of your business, but yes."

"You better get home before Mom and Dad get back. I'm not taking the blame for you running off." Carver rolled his eyes, a habit him and Bethany shared, and took off.

Marian picked up the bucket of corn and brought it inside. She sat down on a stool, and began to rinse them off in a pail of water. Not a minute later, Fenris appeared in the doorway. She looked up to see him leaning against the wall, a look of approval across his face.

"Can I help you with something?" she teased. Fenris took a few steps towards her, closing the distance between them. As he neared, Marian could hear her heart pounding in her head.

"It appears we are all alone. For once." He staring down at her intently, almost the way a wolf eyes his prey.

"We still will be for a few hours yet."

With that, Fenris leaned forward, cupping her face with his hands, and claimed her mouth with his. His tongue sought entrance, which she immediately allowed. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and he lifted her up into his arms. Marian wrapped her legs around his waist, and he kissed her hard. They crashed into a wall, her back hitting it hard, but it did not deter them from their passionate embrace. He held her still against the wall, as they moaned and panted into each others mouths. She pulled away momentarily.

"Shall we take this to my room?" she asked, gasping for breath. Fenris chuckled and narrowed his eyes.

He carried her back to her room, and gently placed her on the bed, kicking the door shut with one foot. He climbed on top of her, and slowly kissed down her neck. Marian felt an urgency to be with him now, so she grabbed the bottom of her shirt and tossed it to the floor. Fenris stared down at her naked breasts, taking in the sight before him.

"Perfect." He said, before he brought his mouth to one nipple. His tongue lavished it and Marian moaned. The way his tongue rolled over the bud was such a tease to her. She ached for more of him. She pulled at his shirt, and he lifted up his arms to allow her to remove the garment.

Her eyes followed where his markings went. They swirled across his upper torso, and circled around his nipples. She wondered just how far down they went.

Fenris returned his kisses, licking and blowing on her skin down her abdomen. She began to giggle.

"Sorry, that tickles a little." He smiled back at her.

"Try to relax. I want you to enjoy yourself." She nodded, and closed her eyes. His tongue lapped at the delicate skin, just above where her trousers were. He began to unlace them, and once they were loose, he pulled them down along with her smalls. Marian blushed, feeling completely exposed. She felt his hand slowly graze up and down her outer lips and she sighed.

Fenris circled her sensitive pearl with one finger tip, barely applying any pressure. Marian started to moan loudly now. It felt so much better than when she had taken her hand to herself. He hit every nerve in a way that made her cry out. With his other hand, Fenris slowly began to push one finger into her opening, and when it was fully inside her, they both groaned.

"I never thought you would be this tight. I will be gentle. I promise." He carefully withdrew his finger, and then pushed it back in. His movements were slow and torturous, and Marian began to buck her hips in movement with his, wanting to feel more. Fenris, with his finger still inside of her, began to kiss Marian again. She sighed, and he rest his head beside hers, his other arm holding her close. He pushed another finger into her and she grabbed the sheets tightly.

"Say my name Marian." he whispered into her ear.

"Fenris." she gasped, his name coming out more of a plea than a name.

"How does this feel?"

"Good. So good." she groaned. Fenris smiled, and scaled down her body again. He began to kiss her thighs, his lips soft against her flesh. He brought his mouth to her mound, and she sat up, panicked.

"What are you...? You don't have to do that."

"But I want to. Please, let me. If you don't like it, I will stop. I promise." She hesitantly lay back down. She never imagined someone tasting her there, she couldn't imagine why he would want to, but her thoughts quickly vanished when his tongue hit her nub.

He began to lap at the flesh quickly, sending jolts of pleasure directly through her system.

"Ohh," she cried, not meaning to be so loud but she could not help the sounds that were escaping her lips. He suckled her, applying pressure to the sweet spot he was laving. His two fingers worked her core, and she was beginning to drench him. They slipped in and out with ease. The combination of his digits stretching her, and his slippery tongue gliding across her brought her to her climax. Her muscles began to clench around him and she wailed out as the ecstasy of her orgasm consumed her. She could see bright flashes of light throughout her closed eyes; feeling as if he was bringing her closer to the Maker himself.

Her breathing slowed, and she finally opened her eyes. As she did so Fenris climbed on top of her again and kissed her feverishly. Their tongues danced together, as Fenris began to unlace his leggings. With her eyes closed, Marian felt him completely undress. His erection pressed against her belly, and she reached down to touch him. She paused, and looked up with hesitation.

"I...don't really know what to do. Teach me?"

"Of course." Fenris said, and pulled her up so they were both in a sitting position. He guided her hand back to his erection, and wrapped it around him. He placed his own palm around hers, and guided it up and down his shaft. Together, their hands moved until she had built a nice rhythm, he let go and closed his eyes, let out a deep groan.

"Is this okay?" she asked.

"Very much so." Fenris brought his eyes to her. "No one has ever touched me like this before Marian. In my past...I was always denied pleasure. You are the first."

Maran kissed his lips softly, as she continued to pump her hand up and down. He hissed into her mouth and she pulled away.

"And if I wanted to give you pleasure, the way you did for me?"

"I will not say no, but by no means would I expect it of you."

Marian smiled, and sunk off the bed. Fenris scooted forward so that he was sitting right at the edge. She gripped onto him again, resuming her ministrations, when she brought her mouth to the tip. She licked it slowly, letting her tongue massage him. His hands went into her hair, and she looked into his eyes.

"Close your mouth around it, and move your face and hand together." he said in a gentle voice.

Marian took the tip of his member into her mouth and began to suck, as he instructed. Her head moved in unison with her hand, down and then back up. He tasted salty on her tongue, a taste she didn't mind one bit. She lightly flicked her tongue against the head every time she came up, only to plunge back down. Fenris began panting and groaning, clearly enjoying every second of it.

"I need to have you Marian."

"Then take me." she said as she looked up into his eyes. He lifted her and lay her flat on her back. He climbed in between her long legs, and kissed her once again. She stared at him, feeling nervous.

"Are you ready for me?" She nodded.

"I am. Make love to me, Fenris." He positioned his cock at her entrance, and ever so slowly, he entered her.

She moaned out, feeling a pinch of pain. Her body, although her maidenhood was taken six months prior, was still not used to the sensation. Her hands grabbed onto his shoulders, and he stared down at her with concern.

"Did you...did you want me to stop?" he asked.

"No, just be slow please."

He captured her lips once more, and pulled out, only to move back in. Marian noticed it hurt slightly less. He held himself still for about a minute, as they continued to kiss and moan into each other.

"You can continue. I'm alright." she whispered into his ear, sucking on its pointed tip. Fenris shuddered, and began to thrust in and out of her, a little faster, but still at a slow pace. Marian threw back her head and moaned. He stretched her, filled her completely, and the pinching sensation had completely disappeared.

"Fenris," she sighed out. "Oh Fenris, faster!"

"Marian," he hissed through his teeth, and began to bare down on her quicker. His member plummeted in and out of her tight core. The sounds of flesh slapping against flesh filled the room, and their cries became music in the air.

Fenris withdrew from her and she whimpered at the loss of sensation. He turned her body so she was laying on her side, facing the wall. He lay next to her, and lifted one of her legs so it draped around his. She felt his member push into her again and she let out a moan. He began to buck into her hips frantically, and draped one hand over her center so he could rub her clit.

Marian felt the familiar tingle rising throughout her belly. She began to meet his thrusts half way, swaying her hips back and forth.

"Oh Maker, Fenris!" she called out, finding her release again. Her muscles clenched his cock tightly, and Fenris began to spill himself deep within her. He moaned loudly, his warm seed coating her insides. Their bodies rejoiced together, as their merging came to a completion.

Hawke sighed and rolled the opposite way so she could face him. As she did this Fenris quietly sat up, and began to dress.

"We should make ourselves presentable should your family return soon."

"Mmm, I suppose you are right. I just want to stay in bed though. Could you pass me my night gown? It's just in that drawer." she pointed. Fenris had finished doing up his leggings and lifted his shirt over his head. He retrieved her gown and tossed it to her. She quickly slipped it on and lay back down.

"Come, lie with me for awhile." He kept his glance downwards, and sat at the end of the bed.

"Marian..." he said in a cold voice, and immediately she knew something was wrong. She sat up, panicked.

"What is it Fenris?"

"When we were together, I had some visions. I think they were of my past life. Just...glances. And then they were gone." His voice was sad and desperate, and she wanted nothing more than to comfort him.

"Are you alright?"

"This is unbearable. I have never known who I am and to have it all come back just to slip away..." his voice was shaky and she reached out to put her hand on his, but he quickly withdrew. She bit her lip, feeling so completely lost. They had just made love, and now he was pulling away from her. He glanced at her face, and then quickly came to her side.

"I apologize. I did not mean to upset you. This is just difficult for me." Fenris lay beside her, and stroked her cheek. She nuzzled into him, laying her head across his chest.

"I'm here for you, Fenris. If you need anything at all. I am here."

"I know." he said and kissed her forehead. "You look tired. You should rest."

"Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me, Marian. Please. Rest now."

Marian closed her eyes. She fell asleep to the sound of his beating heart, a smile plastered across her face.

* * *

Her bedroom door opened, and when Marian looked up, Bethany was coming inside. She looked over and noticed that Fenris was gone._ He must have heard them coming home and went to his room_ - she thought to herself. Marian stood up, and stretched her limbs.

"Did you see Fenris when you came in?"

"No."

She left the room, and opened the door to Carver's. He looked up from his bed and gave her an aggravated look.

"Mind knocking first?"

"Have you seen Fenris?"

"No, but all of his stuff's gone." She quickly sought out the corner of the room where his belongings always were. They weren't there.

Marian ran out the door, not even bothering to put on her boots. She made her way to the stable, and her heart plunged into her stomach. Acorn was gone. Which meant he changed his mind. He made love to her, and then left when she fell asleep, like he had originally intended to the night before.

In a desperate attempt, she climbed up the ladder to check the hayloft, although she already knew it was futile. Nothing. Just hay. She slumped down onto it, and buried her head in her hands.

Nothing felt as excruciating as the pain she was enduring. Not even Victor and his brutal touch. She felt as if her heart had been shattered into a million little fragments, the very breath knocked right out of her. Her whole body was numb and cold. Her eyes welled up with tears, and she let them fall freely. She recalled one of the last this he said to her. "I'll be fine. Don't you worry about me, Marian. Please." It became clear to her that he knew he was going to leave, but was too cowardly to tell her to her face. Instead, he snuck out in the night to spare himself with seeing her face as he left.

"Fenris," she sobbed. "I thought you said I was worth it." She laid herself in the hay, and curled up in the spot where they were together the night before.

_I will never trust another man for the rest of my life_ - she told herself as she cried in the dead of the night.


	11. Need

**Fenris**

Long expanses of swaying grasses, animated by the wind, passed by at either side. A sea of dark, ominous clouds hung low over him, perhaps to augment the ill mood, and the murky colors his life had just been tinged with.

For the first day, he didn't know where he was going, only that he was going North, away from the memories. Away from her. He stopped to rest, to allow the horse - her horse; Acorn - to drink from a small lake and eat in the field. He gathered some wild onions and managed to spear a couple fish for his supper, set up camp for the night. Beside the fire he decided on Highever. From there he would take a ship to Cumberland and never return to Ferelden again.

But beneath his stolen blankets his thoughts became riddled with unwanted thoughts. Acorn beat the earth with her hooves and huffed restlessly throughout the entire night. He knew the feeling.

_Weak._ He thought, tears crashing against the back of his eyes. _You never deserved her._

All that existed was the Bannorn, stretching out in every direction with it's windswept meadows, and the crickets chirping their lonesome song. Above it, there was a cloudless sky, dotted with billions of stars and a thumbnail moon. He'd never felt more alone than he did in that place. He'd never felt so insignificant.

_She bloomed for him, creamy legs with soap and musk-scented skin spread apart in a slow and beautiful reveal. The sweet dew gathered in her cup until it soaked the sheets beneath her, and when he touched her, she soaked him too. She was a sea for him, sighing and surging upon the shores of his fingers._

The low, lonely howl of a wolf could be heard from far off. He remembered that first time he allowed himself to smile, an exertion of will that was as painful as it was rewarding. _Worth. I am worth nothing, now._ It was not a shocking or new revelation, but it hurt no less.

The memory of her kisses were branded into his body. Every now and again the wind would pick up and he would believe it was a pair of phantom hands, silk-soft and gentle across his face. But of course, if he opened his eyes, he would find himself alone. Forgotten.

The sun began it's lazy ascent over the horizon before he even really closed his eyes. Soon his relentless pursuit of the North would begin again, through dew-laden fields under heavy and invisible chains. The steady percussion of hooves hitting the earth was a welcome and much needed distraction.

* * *

On the second day, he came across a small village, not entirely unlike Lothering in it's simple and quiet complacency. There was no tender-hearted maiden to welcome him, no bombardment of well-meaning questions to break through the suspicious glares and the gaping eyes. No Marian. Was he relieved or crestfallen? He didn't know anymore. She was his certainty and she was gone.

An old woman allowed him to spend the night in her barn in exchange for some manual labor. As he performed the tasks, he was reminded of his daily chores back at the Hawke farm, how rewarding it was to sit down for a meal or lay down to sleep after so much hard work. Sleeping in a barn and eating foraged, bitter berries was not the same.

_Salt and magic and metal, she melted on his tongue, her body receptive and sensitive to his touch. The sounds of her pleasure made him swell and strain against the mattress. The way she reacted to his fingers, the way her body arched and trembled for release, those were gifts, such he could never have asked for._

There was no Marian.

No Marian and no one to talk to but her horse, and the horse reminded him of her. Sleeping in a hayloft reminded him of her. Everything reminded him of her.

Somehow, but by the grace of the Maker he found sleep and dreamed of her calling his name like a prayer.

* * *

On the third day he left the village, his pockets a little heavier with coin and his pack full of salt-beef and cornmeal bread, a jug of home-brewed liquor that stung his chest when he drank it.

The plains seemed unending, punctuated only by the occasional pond or hill. He thought Highever must have been a world away, as far away as Tevinter or Seheron, or it might as well have been.

_Her lips parted to accept his tongue into her mouth, flavored by her own salt and sweet juices, and they did battle with one another. Her fingers glided over his skin, applying gentle but steady pressure and the dormant magic within her caused every cell in his body to vibrate and tingle with ecstasy. The lyrium in his flesh let out a long, low, tremolo note in his mind for only him to hear, soft and dulcet. It grew with each stroke, built in volume and complexity until it was all he knew; Marian and her hands and her song and her warmth._

He stopped and dismounted to stretch his legs and look at his map, another token of gratitude from the old woman in the town. He sat down in a patch of grass and unfolded the paper, trying to judge how far he'd come or if he was anywhere near his destination.

But of course, he couldn't read the names of the cities, only the bold black "x" that marked the town he'd slept in the previous night. He sighed and almost ripped the thing in half.

And that's when he caught sight of what he was sitting in.

Daisies. Hundreds of daisies scraping the sky by their height, allowed to grow tall and unhindered by man. The danced in the wind and the petals fluttered.

He leaned forward to pick one. It seemed so out of place, contrasted against the dark, cold, steel of his gauntlets, when really he was the one who didn't belong.

He didn't belong with Marian, either. Didn't belong in the places she lit up with her smile and where things grew and lived. He belonged in the dark, with things dead and dying. Yet she accepted him, nonetheless.

He knew that if he had not left, she would have stayed by his side. Maybe they would have gotten married. Maybe he would have given her children with pointed ears and half-smiles and twinkling, blue, almond-shaped eyes. Maybe Malcolm and his wife would have even accepted him as one of their own. Maybe they already had.

He shook his head, forcibly throwing himself from the reverie. _Sandcastles in the sky._

With a handful of daisies tucked into his pocket, he continued on.

* * *

On the fourth day he found himself in some sort of wetland. Acorn's feet splashed the ground as she plodded through. Gadflies bit painfully at any exposed flesh, leaving pink, swollen lumps that itched mercilessly. He kept having to swat them away from the horse's face.

_A sweep of her tongue bathed him completely and he shuddered. By now he had memorized their lyrium melody, had lyrics to accompany it, words that meant everything, and nothing in every language he knew. She descended and it was a symphony of emotion and passion and bliss. Her mouth a sanctum of joy, where the kisses and the sweet oaths of devotion came from, and she graciously allowed him inside, without even having to beg entrance._

He looked south for a moment and wondered if he missed the endless stretch of meadow, as he slapped a mosquito from his cheek and watched the horse swat at them with her tail.

Thankfully, they were out of it by nightfall.

He slept in a pad of grass and watched the moon climb the sky. He named the constellations, the ones he didn't know. That one was Marian. Another was Marian's lips. Yet another was Marian's undeserved affection. Another, Marian's broken heart. He thought it appropriate that she live in the stars to look down upon him. She was above him in every way, and now they were galaxies apart from each other.

* * *

On the fifth day, he found himself on hilly, jagged terrain. Rather than exhaust himself and his dwindling supplies, he tried to find a way around.

The path was winding and almost entirely uphill. He felt at the rate he was going he'd reach the Black City's gates before Highever. The slow ascent must have been grueling and tiresome for the horse, but he was running out of resources. They needed to find water before nightfall, before the last dregs from his wineskin were gone.

_The first dip, like a sudden plunge into water left him breathless and disoriented. His hips met hers and a breeze could have knocked him over. As their tempo picked up he could not restrain from his reckless abandon, and all he could do was pray he did not harm her in the process. _

When they reached the summit of the hillock, he looked down onto the valley, and to his relief, found a babbling brook tucked neatly under a crevasse at the bottom.

Getting down the hill was quicker, but the horse was exhausted and sometimes her footfalls were not so sure. The sound of the brook lured her onward, however and when they both reached the bottom, they were grateful.

Fenris made camp in a stony nook in the hill, found some freshwater crabs to sate his hunger and filled his wineskin with the clear water. He didn't even bother to pull his blanket or bedroll from his pack. He slept in the first place he settled; against a rock on the ground. In the Fade he called out to her, sought her among the hundreds of faceless wanderers and dreamers. She was nowhere to be found.

* * *

On the sixth day he passed the North Road into the Coastlands. A traveler pointed him in the right direction of his destination and he was relieved to discover he'd reach the city within a day's time if he made haste. He thanked the man and sped forth, losing himself in the drumming of hooves on the earth.

_There was only Marian. There was only her depths and the soft pillowy breasts that trembled with each rise and fall of him into her. There was only his name, unbeckoned from her lips and the sighs and gasps that puffed over his skin like a caress. There was only her eyes, darkened until only a thin sapphire band was left to stand contrast against the all-encompassing blackness of her pupils. There was only her fingers skating over his arms, her legs hooked around him and pulling him tighter. There was only the pleasure she offered, the warmth and the safety. There was only her. It was more than enough. _

By the time he reached the city, the moon was high in the sky and the streets were empty but for the few vagrants, sleeping in the green. He found an inn nestled not far in, with a stable in back and used what little coin he had to buy a room for the night and a bread trench of grey stew.

He collapsed into bed unceremoniously and fell instantly asleep. In his dream he found her dancing with wisps in a daisy-dotted glen. She turned and she smiled at him; a smile so sweet and serene as to break his heart all over again.

He tentatively approached her and when they grew close enough, she embraced him. Their hands clasped until they met at the palms and she graced his chin with the gentlest kiss.

"I love you." she said.

Though she was a dream, he still felt the need to protest. "I left you alone in your bed. I did not deserve you. I am not worth your time. I stole from you and walked away without even saying goodbye."

She smiled, a sad smile that didn't quite reach her eyes and shook her head. "You'll be back."

He looked down and away. How could she believe in him, even now? How could she still hope for the good in him? "Why do you say that, Marian?"

"Because I love you, and because we need each other." she said.

_Need._ Yes, he needed Marian. Needed her forgiveness, her friendship, her love, all things he knew he already had. These were not needs that weighed upon him. They were not chains to shackle him to her side, nor bars to cage him in her heart. He wouldn't die without her, but he would never truly live. This was the opposite of captivity. This was reprieve. This was salvation. This was liberation.

And she needed him too. That was the most chillingly beautiful part. Marian needed him, despite his station, despite his history, despite his trespasses. She loved him. Somehow that made it seem all the more possible.

She dissipated before him and he was alone, left with only the memory of her words and the feedback of the newest Malcolm Hawke inspired lesson buzzing in his subconscious, the echo of her voice still repeating ad infinitum.

* * *

On the seventh day, he turned South.


	12. Can't Heal a Broken Heart

**Jen and Shink would both like to cordially invite all of our esteemed readers to join the Dragon Age facebook roleplaying community, which we are both active members of. If you like our writing and you want to hang out with some cool people, maybe give it a shot. It's a lot of fun, it's interactive and it's less of a commitment than a full-blown fanfiction.**

**For more details send either of us a PM and we will tell you how to join, where to find us, who all the cool kids are and how to get started. **

**Also, Jen's main account is Hawke and Shink's main account is Fenris, in case you needed more persuading. ;)**

**Marian**

"Marian? Marian, where are you?!" Malcolm's voice echoed and she groaned. She opened her eyes and realised it was daylight. She dozed off in the hayloft, and now her father was about to give himself a heart attack. She climbed down the ladder and just as she turned, her father stepped inside.

"Oh, thank the Maker you're alright! You just gave me the fright of my life." Malcolm said, throwing his arms around his daughter. When he pulled away he looked around and noticed that Acorn was gone.

"Where's your horse? And for that matter, why is your face so red? Marian, what's wrong?"

"Fenris." She said, barely above a whisper.

"What about Fenris?"

"He left. Took Acorn with him. Didn't even say goodbye." Marian replied, trying to keep her voice as emotionless as possible. She didn't want to start crying all over again, the skin under her eyes felt completely raw from the amount of tears she shed throughout the night. Malcolm exhaled, and pulled her into him once more.

"He must have changed his mind about us. You know how people feel about apostates, dolly." At that, she bit down on her lip, trying to keep herself from wailing out. She began to sniffle again, despite her attempts, and Malcolm just held her in his arms, just as he did when she was a child. He stroked her hair, and kissed her head. "Shh, it will be alright." He repeated to her again and again.

They eventually went back inside, and Marian splashed cold water over her face. She looked in the cracked mirror, and could barely recognise her reflection. Her skin was flushed red, her eyes were swollen, and she had bits of hay all over herself. She took a few minutes to calm herself down, and make herself appear more presentable. When she looked half decent, she began to make her way into town. There was something she desperately needed to do, to ensure a dire situation would not become any worse.

She approached the stall cautiously, feeling shameful and dirty. "How much for the contraception herbs?"

"One gold."

"One gold? That seems a bit steep." Apparently, at this stall, you could not buy just one dose of the herbs. They only came in a full month's supply, which made Marian shake her head. She just needed the one, it wasn't as if she would be letting a man bed her again anytime soon, if ever. She sighed and pulled out her coin purse, giving the merchant his payment, as she took the sack of herbs. Marian wanted to get out of town, fast. She couldn't go a minute without hearing speculation about the murder in the woods, and who it could possibly be. It made her feel nauseous, thinking that she might eventually be tied to it somehow. She practically ran all the way back to the farm.

As soon as she got home, she went straight to her bedroom for privacy. She mixed the herbs into a glass of water, and then downed it. Marian placed the pouch into a small cupboard in the room, not thinking much about it. Not until two days later.

It was the third day of being without Fenris, and Marian didn't feel any better. She still cried, but only when she was alone. She would sneak out to the barn for privacy, climb into the hayloft, and let her tears fall freely. She tried desperately to keep her mind off of the elf, but even as she worked, she would think of him. She'd think of that deep gravelly voice, that tanned marked skin, his perfect body, the way he felt inside of her. The way he made her feel from day to day, how happy she had been to find someone like him. Her heart ached again and again. It was that day that she realised she was in love with him, and that she would do anything to get him back.

She was coming into the house from a long day's work, when she saw Bethany and her parents sitting at the table, serious expressions across their faces.

"Take a seat." Malcolm said, and she could tell right away from his voice that he was none too pleased. Marian sat across from her parents, and beside her little sister. Malcolm plopped down the sack of herbs she bought the other day down on the table, and her eyes went wide.

"Your mother found these when she was cleaning the bedroom. I don't want to make any assumptions here, but you are both living under my roof. Bethany," he said, turning his attention to the younger daughter. "I know you've been spending a lot of time with that new boy in town."

"They're not mine!" she exclaimed.

"Dear, you're only a child. Your father and I have every right to be concerned." Leandra said gently.

"They're not hers." Marian spoke, her eyes glued to the pouch on the table.

"Bethany, you may be excused." Malcolm said, and Bethany left to go to her room. When the sound of her door being closed, Malcolm spoke up again.

"Marian, tell me the truth. Were you and Fenris..." he paused, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. "Did you and he -?"

"I don't want to talk about it. I'm a grown woman, not a child. Let's leave it at that, shall we?"

"Grown woman or not, you're still my daughter. I am not scolding you, Marian. I am concerned."

"I'm fine. Whatever happened between Fenris and I is over." As she spoke the words, it was as if she finalized it. He was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt the lump in her throat return, and she tried to swallow it down. Her father reached across the table and gave her hand a squeeze. Leandra came to her, and rubbed her back.

"Everything will be okay in the end darling. You'll see." Her mother said, trying to console her.

"I'm fine. Really." She said, getting up from the table. "I'm going to go for a walk now."

She left the farm as fast as her feet would carry her. She didn't want to talk about her feelings with her parents, or anyone for that matter. As she walked along the dirt path, Marian became angry. How could he sleep with her and then leave in the middle of the night? How dare he not tell her he was leaving? And what nerve did he have to take her horse after it all? Her blood boiled and she became seething mad. Before she even realized it, Marian was at the inn. The very inn where she met him for the first time. She plopped herself down at the bar, barely looking up.

"A shot of the strongest stuff you have, and keep it coming."

* * *

A week came and went, and every night she returned to the inn. She would sit at the bar, and order drink after drink until she could barely carry herself home. One morning Malcolm opened the front door to see her fast asleep on the porch. He became enraged with her and dumped a bucket of freezing cold water on her head, which made her jump up, screaming. She didn't speak to him for the rest of the day. She returned to the inn that very night.

She sat at her usual spot, at the end of the bar, when a man a little older than her sat down.

"May I order you a drink, miss?" he asked. He had short blonde hair and blue eyes. He wasn't bad looking, Marian thought to herself. But he was definitely no Fenris. She cursed herself for thinking his name, yet again.

"Why not?" she said. He probably just wants to get in your smallclothes - she told herself, but at that moment, she didn't really care.

The bartender gave them each a mug, and Marian began to down it right away.

"Wow, you sure can knock them back," the man laughed, impressed. "I'm Laurence. And you are?"

"Marian." she answered, and finished the rest of her drink in one big gulp.

"Another round for Marian and I." Laurence said, and the bartender handed them two more mugs.

They spoke for about an hour. Marian mostly listened to him, as she drank mug after mug of the ale. She learned that Laurence was twenty three, and was just passing through for business.

"So Marian, can I walk you home?"

Oh, here it comes - she thought, as she rolled her eyes. "You think I'm that easy do you? You men are all the s- same." She slurred, glaring at him.

"I never said such a thing. I heard about the murder last week, and I just thought it best if -"

"You thought best did you? Well good to know that you can form a thought, with all that blood flowing south." She stood up, her legs wobbling.

"You don't even know me." He said as he stood, and reached out to grab her from toppling over.

"Don't you touch me!" she yelled, and pushed him right over. Laurence got up and stood inches from her.

"You little bitch! I ought to slap you silly!"

"You will do no such thing, young man." Malcolm's voice boomed from behind her, and Marian head snapped toward him. Her face went white, as her father tugged on her arm.

"I'm taking you home."

"Let go of me, I can walk on my own." She said, pulling herself away from his grasp. As she did, she tripped over her own feet, and Malcolm caught her just in time before she fell head first onto the dirty floor of the inn.

"Clearly not." He said, lifting her into his arms, as he left the inn. He carried her in silence. As his legs moved throughout the night, and she bounced up and down in his arms, Marian's head began to spin.

"Uh oh..put..put me down...now!" She yelled, and Malcolm quickly brought her to her feet. She leaned over and began to retch all over the ground, falling to her knees as she did. Her stomach hurt, and she sobbed. Malcolm knelt behind her, and rubbed her back. When she was finished getting sick, she began to bawl her eyes out all over again.

"There there, my girl." Malcolm said, as he rubbed her back. "I may be a healer, but unfortunately your father can't heal a broken heart." She threw her arms around his neck, and buried her face in his chest, crying louder now. Her drunken state made her lose the tough shell she guarded herself with around her family.

"I...I really did love him." She sobbed, and Malcolm clenched his fists.

"I swear if I ever see that elf again, I will rearrange his face." he growled.

"No n..need. He's gone forever." She whimpered, and Malcolm continued to stroke her hair. Eventually, she felt well enough to let him carry her all the way home again.

* * *

That night, Marian dreamed of Fenris. They were surrounded by daisies, and as soon as she saw him, she ran to him, and embraced him tightly.

"I love you." she confessed, unable to hide it any longer.

"I left you alone in your bed. I did not deserve you. I am not worth your time. I stole from you and walked away without even saying goodbye." His voice was sad, and it haunted her ears, even as she awoke.

When Marian opened her eyes, that was the only part of the dream she remembered. She knew she said something more to Fenris, but what? She sighed, wishing she could stay in bed, so she could be with him again, but there were many chores to be done, despite her nasty hangover.

Four days went by, and not once did Marian return to the inn. Drinking made her feel even worse than she already did. She was all too ashamed of her drunken behaviour to run into any of the regulars just yet. Besides, just being in that place reminded her of the day she met Fenris. Then again, there wasn't much that didn't. Every time she saw an elf in town, she thought it was him. Whenever she heard hooves of a horse, her heart skipped a beat, thinking that she would see Acorn with Fenris planted on top of her, but then all hope would be crushed when she realized just how foolish these thoughts were.

She hadn't cried since that night that Malcolm brought her home, but every evening when she returned home from selling their produce in town, she would go to the barn and sit in the hayloft. It was her private time to be alone with her thoughts without being surrounded by people. It had become her home away from home, even if the images that followed her there made her feel depressed.

Her feet mindlessly carried her to the barn, and she swore she could hear her beloved Acorn. Her jaw dropped, and the empty basket she was carrying fell to the ground at the sight that stood before her.

"Acorn!" she yelled and ran to her horse, throwing her arms around the beast's neck. "Oh girl, I've missed you," she said, stroking her mane, as the horse whinnied. Suddenly, her heart was pounding in her chest. If Acorn was back, that must mean -

She walked around her horse, and saw daisy petals scattered across the floor. As she looked up, she saw a few more sticking out of the hay up in the loft. When she climbed the ladder, her breath was stolen right from her essence. Dozens and dozens of daisies were scattered all about the loft. Maybe even a hundred of them. She sat down, feeling her world spin about. Her heart was beating so frantically, she could hear it's rapid pounding in her ears.

"Fenris." Marian whispered, and for the first time in nearly two weeks, she smiled.


	13. Kiss With a Fist

**Fenris**

The return to Lothering was challenging and arduous, but he was carried by his convictions, and each mile lessened the burden a little. He had no delusions; he would not be welcomed back with open arms. He would have to earn everyone's trust back, something he probably didn't deserve. It would not be easy, but Marian was worth it.

It was still the wee hours of the night when he led the horse into the stable and closed her pen. The handful of daisies he had in his pockets were dried and wilted, but he knew where they grew in abundance, deep in the thicket behind the Hawke farm. When he was done harvesting the blossoms, he could barely carry them all in his arms and completely bared an area of the field.

He fell asleep behind the stable, behind a pile of sacks of grain and didn't wake until noon, and only then because of the sound of fevered kissing nearby.

"Peaches." Carver sighed. "Do that thing again. The thing you did behind Barlin's shed."

Fenris stayed as still as he possibly could, tried not to breathe.

"You're insatiable!"

"You love it, horny bitch."

Fenris rolled his eyes and suppressed a sigh.

"Carver Hawke! You know how I feel about that sort of..." but the thought was cut-off by a scream, and Fenris knew he was found out.

He jolted upright, and Carver's eyes met his. "You!" he snarled. "I'm going to kill you, you bastard."

"Carver, calm down!" Peaches said.

"Stay out of this Peaches. Go home." he said. The girl looked like she was about to protest, but Carver glared and Fenris gestured away from them in a passive manner. She ran off without another word.

Carver turned back to Fenris, daggers in his eyes. Fenris just nodded and stared at his feet, accepting his fate.

His fist caught Fenris upside the chin, the impact knocking his jaw out of alignment. The next made contact with his eye and he staggered backward, but regained his footing and continued to stare at the boy's feet.

"Fight back, coward!"

He doubled over in pain as Carver's knee hit his groin. A wave of nausea crested over him, and he nearly passed out. He said nothing, didn't attempt to block the blows, didn't try to fight back, didn't move at all. His knees were kicked out from under him and he landed on all fours.

"Get up!" he said, as he kicked him in the gut.

He slowly stood to his feet and received three blows to his stomach in rapid succession. He tasted copper and his ears rang out, matching the rest of his body in a chorus of pain. He thought he might lose consciousness soon, when a voice came, loud and clear.

"That's enough!"

The owner of the voice was unmistakable. Authoritative, deep and steady. Fenris' bleary eyes opened and was greeted with Malcolm Hawke's impressive stature, his hand wrapped firmly around his son's fist to mollify him.

"He bloody well deserves it!"

"You are a Hawke, not a barbarian!"

"But Dad, he..."

"To your room! Now! I will deal with you later."

The man's nostrils flared and his brown eyes fixed on Carver, flickering like flames. After a second or two of defiant glares, the boy balled his fists and walked away, and Fenris felt a pang of fear as he realized he was alone with Malcolm. Alone with the man he'd stolen from, after he took him into his home. Alone with the father of the girl he deflowered and left heartbroken. Alone with the man he betrayed, a man who once called him 'friend.' He suddenly wished Carver would have had a chance to finish the job.

There was a long, intense silence before he turned back to Fenris, and his expression only softened by a little. "Come." he said roughly, and led him back toward the house.

It looked the same as it had before he left, the trickle of afternoon sunlight washed the hardwood floors in yellow, the drapes blew lazily in the breeze, the pieces on the chessboard from the game Malcolm and he were playing were still in their respective spots, the scent of some sort of roast fowl and the sound of Leandra's voice humming some Fereldan folk song came from in the kitchen. Everything was exactly the same.

"Sit." Malcolm said in a tone that brooked no arguments, before sinking into the chair across from him.

Fenris eased into the cushion and stared at his hands folded in his lap, his shoulders rounded. It was a submissive gesture he learned from Danarius for when he did something that "disappointed" his master. It seemed appropriate here. If he had a tail, he would tuck it between his legs, as well. Sadly, that was not the case.

There was another length of awkward quiet and it was only interrupted by the occasional drumming of fingers or a heavy sigh. Fenris, for his part, was stone still and silent. He was expecting insults, threats, perhaps. Instead, when Malcolm's eyes locked onto Fenris, the only thing he said was "Why?"

Fenris' eyebrows disappeared behind the curtain of white hair and he chanced a glance up into the man's face. He opened his mouth as if to speak and closed it again just as quickly. Was there a satisfying answer to that question? Even he found it difficult to rationalize, and the truth was unforgivable.

"I will not insult you by answering that." he said. "There is no excuse. I'm sorry. It was a terrible mistake that I made in a moment of weakness. There is nothing I regret more."

Malcolm drew his brows down in a sharp v shape, and frowned deeply. "A little late for that, don't you think?" he asked. "I took you in, fed you, clothed you, despite all my reservations because my daughter wanted you here. You broke her heart, Fenris. She has not been well these past few weeks."

"I know." he said, his voice hitching in the middle. "I have not fared much better. I see her face everywhere, she is in my dreams when I manage to sleep. All I do is think of her. I...I love her, Malcolm." It was the first time he admitted it to anyone, even himself, but that made it no less true.

"Oh Maker's giant bloody codpiece." Malcolm heaved a loud sigh in his direction and palmed his face, like Fenris had given him some exasperating news. Fenris said nothing, just continued to stare into his lap. "She's my daughter, Fenris. My eldest, but she's still my little girl. I can't just let you walk in and out of her life as you blighted please."

"If you allow me to return, I will never leave again. Until the Void claims my soul and the dirt my body."

"Oh, don't be melodramatic. Do you think you are the first man to be plagued by youth and impetus?" Fenris had to give the man credit, he was surprisingly even-tempered, considering everything that transpired. Then Malcolm let out a long, aggravated groan that betrayed just how familiar he was with the subject. "It is as much Marian's decision to make as mine, if not more. As much as I would like to wring your neck for what you did, I doubt she would thank me for it."

Fenris nodded appreciatively and Malcolm must have sensed the relief in the expression, because he stiffened. "That doesn't mean I'm going to let you back in my home on just a fancy, especially now that I know you two have been intimate." He said the last word like it was a curse.

Fenris winced. He'd been hopeful about keeping that little bit of information between he and Marian, but evidently that was not possible. Now he was really impressed by Malcolm's willpower. Fenris wasn't sure he could say the same for himself if the tables were turned.

"What would you have me do?" he asked, almost resigned. He wondered if there was anything he really could do to ease the strain of the discomfort he'd inflicted upon their family, or if the damage was already done.

Malcolm thought about it for a good minute or two, cocking his head to the side and scratching his chin until he finally answered. "The right thing. The honorable thing. If you're going to live here under my roof and be lovers, then you're going to get married, like civilized people. That's my condition, take it or leave."

Fenris' jaw probably hit the floor in his shock. A second ago he was prepared to do whatever it took, anything and everything Malcolm asked to get back in their good graces, but _this_? He did not expect this. He wasn't sure what to think. "But...I have no money, no last name, no property, I don't even have coin enough for a ring. How would I...?"

"You can have my mother's ring. It has been in the family for generations. I would have proposed with it myself if it wasn't still on Mum's finger at the time. As for name and property, you will be a Hawke and Marian will inherit the farm when Leandra and I pass. You have no good excuse not to give Marian the life she deserves. If you truly love her, you will."

Again, Fenris was struck completely speechless, before pinching the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb. "I am not arguing, but...I will need some time to process this, Malcolm."

"Understandable. In the meantime, I will put you up at Dane's Refuge in exchange for work here during the day. If that's alright with Marian, that is."

As if she'd been summoned, Marian burst through the door right then. She wiped her glistening brow with the back of her arm, a handful of daisies in her fist, looking positively elated. "Father, Fenris is..."

Her eyes met his and she stopped dead in her tracks. Malcolm must have decided it was about time to talk to Carver, because he stood up immediately and left the room, leaving Fenris and Marian alone. Fenris decided he would have to remember to thank him for that later, if things went well here.

It took her awhile to register the sight before her. She blinked several times, but otherwise, did not move from her spot, at first. Then all at once she began crossing the room with purpose in her step. Fenris stood from his seat and extended his arms to embrace her. He was almost surprised when she reached out and struck him in the face. Almost.

"You left!" she screamed, her eyes already welling up with tears. "You left me all alone!' Then she did surprise him, because then her lips fell on his, desperately, needfully and the entire world ceased to be. The pain of his injuries, the sound of Leandra's vibrato, the constant ache of guilt; all of these things were no more for just a pure, sweet second before the kiss ended.

She wrenched herself away and pushed him by the shoulders. Her nostrils flared and her brows furrowed, but she looked more adorable than threatening, especially since she couldn't seem to decide about how she felt. "How could you? After everything! We made love, Fenris. I thought you cared!"

The accusation was fair, if not dead wrong and heartbreaking. "I do care. That is why I came back." he said with pleading eyes and a tremor in his voice, reaching out to frame her face with his palms. "I love you, Marian. I need you. I beg you - even if it is only as I deserve - don't turn me away."

Again, she struck him, without regard to his swollen jaw or black eyes. "Don't say it unless you mean it. I...I can't bear it if you leave again." She dropped her face into her hands to hide her tears and sobbed just once from deep in her throat, her shoulders quaking in misery.

He tentatively pulled her hands away and caressed her wet cheek, unsure if it would further incur her wrath. "I was in Highever when I turned back. I've had more than enough time to realize my mistake. I am going nowhere. Never again."

This seemed to pacify her rage. A tear slid down her nose and he swiped it away with the pad of his thumb. This time he was the one to pull her in for a kiss. It was gentle and sweet, and not entirely because his lip was inflamed, but because that was how he had left Marian, and that was how he wanted her. He cradled her against him until he could feel their hearts syncing in tune with one another, not quite frantic in their thrumming, anymore.

Her hand ghosted over his face and he almost didn't notice the tingle of healing magic, and although it made him uncomfortable, he didn't balk or break the kiss. She pulled away, and when she did, he rested his forehead against hers and remained, his chest heaving for air that wasn't recycled between them. His eyes closed and he savored her presence as though he were afraid it might be stolen from him, memorizing her scent and the feeling of her soft skin against his calloused hands.

"I knew it was you." she said panting.

"Hm?"

"In my dreams. I knew you were really there."

He kissed the crown of her head softly and nodded in answer, laced his fingers through hers at their side and gave her hand a gentle squeeze, and then brought it to his lips to brush a kiss over her knuckles. "You are my dream, Marian."

**A/N: Stephaniekit, I was a little freaked out when I read your review, because I'd just finished writing their "reunion" scene. Then I sent the review to Jen and we both laughed our asses off. You and I are of a like mind. **


	14. Hopeless as a Lyrium Addict

**Marian**

Her eyes welled up with more tears as she pulled Fenris against her and kissed him yet again. It had been too damn long since she had last seen his face, felt his touch, tasted his lips. For the past few weeks she was in agony, feeling as if a piece of her was missing. And now, Fenris was here in front of her. She feared she would wake, that it was just a cruel dream taunting her. But no, it was real. And Fenris, he said he loved her. Marian's heart was pounding so loudly she could hear its thrumming in her head.

Her head was not in agreeance with her heart. He left you, like some whore he paid. It took him weeks to return. No man that loved you would do this. She took a few steps back, and let out a mournful sigh.

"I don't know what to think right now, Fenris. This is a lot to take in. You hurt me, more than you could know. I don't think I can just let you back into my heart, as if nothing happened." Who was she kidding? He never left her heart. Marian said her words with conviction, not giving heed to the doubt she felt as she said them herself.

"I understand. Your father has offered to put me up at Dane's Refuge while I continue to work here, if that is alright with you. If not, I will go, and will not bother you again, even though it would be unbearable to leave you."

"I don't want you to leave again, Fenris. Not when you've just returned. I'm just going to need time to heal, before I can trust you again."

"I will give you all the time you need."

"I thank you for that." Marian said with a sigh. She wanted to take him into her arms and kiss him, but she didn't want to give in too easily. He had to earn her trust again. For the first time since she saw him, she wondered just why his face was so beat up before she healed him.

"What in the name of the Maker happened to your face?"

"Your brother." Fenris replied with a smirk.

"That little shit! I'm going to kill him."

"No. I deserved it. He was only defending your honor." Marian rolled her eyes, although she felt a sense of pride that her brat of a brother cared about her, even if he had a funny way of showing it. She touched Fenris' face gently, even though the wounds were already healed. "I deserved the pain, you shouldn't have healed me. It would have served as a reminder of just what I did to you and your family."

"Fenris, that's totally unnecessary."

"No. I hurt you Marian, when you extended your hand with kindness. I am going to do whatever it takes, whatever lengths I must travel, to prove to you that I am sorry."

Marian smiled sweetly at him. "If you must."

"I insist."

* * *

A few weeks came and went, and Fenris still stayed at the inn. He would work by day, and once he was finished he would return to town. He even refused Marian's offers to stay for dinner. He insisted that he was still unworthy and that when the day came that he felt he atoned for his wrongdoings, she would know. It gave them little time to spend together since their days were both filled with work to tend to, and it made Marian miss him even more. By the third week, it was time to take matters into her own hands. Once she had helped her mother with the dishes after supper, she made her way into town.

She entered the inn, and gathered from the innkeeper which suite Fenris was staying it. She stood before his door for a minute, before gently knocking. Not more than a few moments passed before he answered, but to Marian it felt like an eternity.

"Marian? What are you doing here?" he asked, clearly puzzled by her sudden appearance.

"I brought you supper, since you refuse to eat with my family anymore." She said, as she placed a wicker basket into his hands. "Do you mind if I come in?"

Fenris opened the door wider, and stepped to the side. Marian entered and sat at the edge of the bed. She patted the spot beside her, and Fenris took a seat.

"It's my mother's stew, the one you like so much."

"I will have to give her my thanks tomorrow then."

"Fenris," Marian began, uncomfortably twiddling her thumbs together. "Why don't you come stay with us again? Father doesn't really seem to be mad anymore. I'm sure it won't be a bother."

"No." Fenris replied, shaking his head.

"Why not?"

"I just can't, Marian. It wouldn't be right. Not after what happened."

"But we've barely spent any time together since you've been back. I feel like we should be working to try to mend things, not pushing each other further apart."

"Is that what I'm doing? Am I pushing you away, Marian?" he asked, fear in his eyes.

"No, that's not what I meant." She took Fenris' hand in hers. She had told herself to be strong, to make him wait before she gave herself to him again, but Marian was tired of waiting. She was a mess without him in her life, and she would give anything to have things go back to the way they were before.

"I...I'm in love with you Fenris." She said, her voice shaky and hands trembling in his. "I realised that when you left. I've never felt this way about anyone before, and I'm scared. I'm terrified you'll leave again and..." Before she could finish, his lips were on hers, crushing them in a hard, unbridled kiss. When he finally pulled away from her, Marian had to catch her breath. He gazed deeply into her eyes, soft and adoring.

"I swear it on my life. I will never leave you again."

"Do you promise?"

"I do." he said smiling. Marian smiled back, and threw her arms around him, holding him against her.

"I've missed you so much." She pressed her lips to his again, letting her tongue slip inside. His own joined hers, circling each other, and Marian straddled his lap. She pushed her breasts into him, and sighed heavily into his mouth. She could feel him begin to harden under her weight, and that's when he gently set her aside.

"Not yet, Marian." he said barely above a whisper, as he stroked her cheek.

"Is something wrong?"

"There's just something I need to do first. Will you meet me back here tomorrow evening?"

"Of course."

"I am glad to hear it." Fenris kissed her gently one more time. "You should be getting home now. It will be dark soon. Your father will worry."

"I suppose you're right. Enjoy the meal, Fenris. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

Marian left, her head down as she kicked the dirt from under her feet on the solemn walk home. She offered her body to him, even after he had left her the only time they made love, and he refused. Was there something wrong with her? Was she an unsatisfying lover? Her mind became muddled with these thoughts, and she felt her heart sink. She said a silent prayer to the Maker, who she wasn't entirely sure she believed in, and begged for everything to return to normal soon. She needed his touch as much as she needed air in her lungs.

The next day was a strange one indeed. Fenris showed up bright and early as he always did, but he seemed to be distant. Whenever she glanced his way, he would avoid her as if she had the blight.

Late in the afternoon, she walked into the living room to see Fenris and her father in some sort of serious discussion, which ended abruptly when she made her presence known. She rolled her eyes, completely aggravated, and went back into the field. What in the world had gotten into him? She was determined to get to the bottom of it that night, when she went to his suite again. She would demand answers for his dismissive behaviour. If he couldn't give them to her, that would be her last visit. She let out a deep sigh, and shook her head. She would never be able to give him up. She was as hopeless as a lyrium addict, only Fenris was her drug.

Marian barely touched her supper that night, her nerves were all over the place. She couldn't get Fenris out of her mind for more than a moment's time.

"Not hungry, dear?" Leandra asked.

"Not really."

"Are you ill?"

"I'd say so. She must be insane if she's still swooning over that pathetic excuse of an elf."

"Carver!" Malcolm snapped. "Enough harassing your sister. She is old enough to make her own choices."

"I think it's nice that we're giving him another chance." Bethany chimed in.

"Yeah, you would." Carver rolled his eyes at his twin.

Marian got up, shooting her brother a nasty look. "May I be excused, please?"

"That depends. Where are you off to?" Malcolm asked, a calmness to his voice.

"Does it really matter?"

"As a father I have a right to be concerned. Are you going to town to visit Fenris?"

"As a matter of fact, I am. Is there a problem with that?"

"Nope, none at all." Malcolm replied, with a smug look on his face. "You have a nice time."

"Alright..." Marian answered, with a raised eyebrow. What in the Void had gotten into the men today? She washed up, and then headed back into town, to confront the aloof elf.

Marian entered his suite, without bothering to knock first. Fenris jumped up from his seat, clearly startled by her interruption.

"Marian." he said, and strode over to her. "You came."

"Of course I came. What's going on, Fenris? Why have you been acting so strange today?"

"Have I?" he asked, a coy grin on his face.

"Oh don't give me that smile. It's not going to work on me!" She shouted, trying to stay angry, but deep inside, seeing his face light up melted her heart.

"Marian." he repeated, and put his arms around her, pulling her into a close embrace. "My sweet, gentle, Marian."

"What's gotten into you?" Words could not describe the level of frustration she felt in that moment. One minute he was avoiding her, the next he was acting like a lovesick puppy.

"You." He answered. "You're what's gotten into me. Not in my wildest desires did I think that I could have freedom of any kind. And once I tasted it, I knew there was no going back. But even then, I would have never fathomed that someone could love me. You Marian, are my purpose. I vow to you, from this day forward, to spend the rest of my life at your side, if you will have me."

"Fenris?" she asked, confused.

He got down on one knee, and her breath caught in her throat. He reached down into a pocket of his leggings, and pulled out a simple golden band, one she recognised without having to look twice. It was her grandmother's ring, the one her father held onto since her passing. That only meant one thing. Fenris had asked her father for her hand in marriage, and his answer was yes. Her knees buckled from under her and she almost fell but steadied herself at the last moment.

"Marian, I give you my heart and soul, if only you would have them. I love you. Will you accept this fool's proposal? Will you be my wife?"

Tears fell from the corners of her eyes, and she was completely speechless. She dropped to her knees, joining him on the floor, and attacked his mouth with hers. More tears fell onto Fenris as she sucked the very essence from him. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest, and she could barely breathe. Images of them dedicating their lives to one another, starting a family, remaining side by side through hardships and joyous moments, all flashed into her mind. Right then, she knew what her answer was. She slowly ended their kiss, and grasped his face with her gentle hands.

"Yes, Fenris. I am yours."


	15. Chickens

**Warning: NSFW chapter! **

**Thanks Jen for editing this, since I was so tired that meat squirrel toe pickle wagon. Hope you guys enjoy this, because considering the length (pun maybe intended?) and the material, it was quite a challenge to write. As always, thanks everyone so much for the favs, follows, reviews and for reading along. We love you!**

**Fenris**

"You are mine." Fenris confirmed in a dark, husky voice. He toppled her over and they ended up sprawled across the wooden floor, his hands pressing her wrists into the ground. He left a ravenous trail of kisses along her throat, peppered with the occasional possessive bite as he rubbed himself against her inner thigh. It earned a whimper from her lips, which he trapped with his own in a fierce kiss.

A damp heat emanated from the crux of her thighs. He palmed her core through her clothes and raised an eyebrow, she'd already soaked through her smalls and was beginning to moisten her breeches. "What have _you_ been thinking about?"

She blushed bright red. "You." she said quietly. "Always."

His leggings were suddenly so very restrictive. He smirked through the ache, though it threatened to overpower him. "I am not complaining, Marian." he grated and claimed her lips again, easing his tongue past her lips to massage hers, gently.

She sighed heavily and bucked back against his hand, which elicited a rumbling groan from deep in his chest.

He'd thought about doing this so many times on the excruciating trip back from Highever, allowing his hands to wander ashamedly down the front of his leggings and rub himself raw at the thought of her; kissing her, touching her, claiming every part of her as his. He doubted she would ever allow him to be with her like this again, at the time. He would scarcely be able to blame her. But a part of him held out hope and he was glad of it now that she was in his arms again.

He released her wrists to divest himself of his tunic, feeling an insistent tug in the front of his leggings as he shrugged out of it. Marian knitted herself into his laces, yanking and whining impatiently. "Easy, Marian." he chuckled, swatting her hands away to loosen his binds in a smooth pull. "There. Is that better?"

She didn't answer, but greedy fingers dove inside the leather to pull him free and stroke him. She was still clumsy about it but her enthusiasm more than made up for it. His own hands occupied themselves with yanking her trousers and her smalls down her legs. Once those were off, she practically tore her linen shirt off. Her perky breasts tumbled into his waiting palms for him to fondle and squeeze. He ran his thumb over their peaks, making them taut and pointed, before bending his neck to suck one between his lips. He flicked his tongue over it a few times, nipped it gently between his teeth and blew a gust of warm breath over it, staring up into her eyes all the while. Her brows drew up in the middle, her eyes slamming shut of their own accord as she raked her fingers through his mop of hair.

"I want to pleasure you, but I'm in agony." she said quietly, as though she were embarrassed.

"That can be easily remedied, Marian." he laughed, as he gently reclined her on her back. There was a bit of awkward positioning for a moment, but eventually, he laid across the length of her body, his face between her thighs and lifted his hips to press the bulb of his cock against her lips, which eagerly parted to accept him inside. He moaned and eased his tongue past her dewy petals to taste her, enjoying the way she hummed around his length.

So many sensations overwhelmed him. The heady bouquet of her core curling up into his nostrils. The warm, salty tang of her essence coating his tongue. The mystery of her womanhood bared before him with it's many grooves and creases, all soft and slick and inviting. The feeling and the sound of her nursing on his cock, the suction of her lips as she sipped.

She arched up onto his mouth, which he answered with a grunt and a proportionate thrust into hers. He hooked his arms under her thighs to pull her legs further apart, and to slip a nimble finger inside her. She pushed back against it as he massaged the walls of her canal with it, pumped it in and out of her. She wriggled and gyrated under him. She rubbed her clit against his tongue and pushed his digit further inside her, all the way to the knuckle. Her own mouth suckled gently on the sensitive tip of his cock, lapping up the bead of arousal that escaped. He sighed heavily and panted, tried to focus on the task at hand. He was determined to make her come first.

He added another finger to the mix which made her grind hard against his face and hand. She drank thirstily at his cock, but it was too late for her. She clamped down around his fingers and burst on his tongue, closing her thighs on his cheeks. She crowed loudly around his member, still missing in her lips.

At this, he began to dismount her. He was tickled by how reluctant she was of detaching, but he wanted to make love to her, to sink far into her depths.

He crawled up beside her, his front facing her back and embraced her, tangled his legs with hers and buried his lips in her neck and shoulders. She slung her leg over his hips and some of her juices oozed and leaked out onto his thigh.

"Make love to me." she said softly, her head craned toward him. He propped himself on his elbow to kiss her, his face still perfumed and flavored with her.

He eased himself inside and they both sighed triumphantly at the fit. He was convinced that Marian was tailor-made for him, by the Maker himself. Every inch of her brought nothing but pleasure and safety and peace. He held her thigh in place as he plunged, his lips stamping kisses upon the smooth flesh on her neck and shoulders.

"Fenris."

Hearing her call his name made him tremble a little and he had to slow down before he lost himself. He had to remember that there was no rush. "I wish I could spend every waking hour inside of you." he whispered breathlessly in her ear.

"I never want this to end." she said. "I love you."

"Marian." he gasped, dipping deep. Every cell in his body tingled with pleasure. He loved her with all of himself. Even his flesh vibrated and rang from the hum of her dormant magic, and his heart pumped all blood that wasn't vital into his nethers to fill her tight sheath. He was ragingly, painfully hard, and only her body could offer him the relief he sought.

There was a note of surprise when he realized her fingers were between her legs, joggling her clit. He grinned and took her hand in his, lifting it to his lips to suck away her sweet nectar, and then his own fingers replaced hers in her crevice. A low whine escaped her throat, and she arched to better accommodate his length. He slid himself in her to his hilt and shuddered at the shock of pleasure her flesh offered him, backed all the way out and buried himself again and again.

Her breathing became erratic and she rolled herself onto his fingers, still working her nub. A few more seconds of this and she howled at the top of her lungs his name followed by profanities he never thought to hear from his Marian's mouth. Her inner walls tamped down on him as he guided her slowly, deliberately through her climax into a euphoria he longed to share with her.

As soon as she stopped crying out he rushed to follow her, slamming into her with reckless abandon. Right at the apex of his orgasm he slowed to draw it out and roared with agonizing ecstasy, gripping onto her for dear life. "Marian!" he called raggedly. A surge of piping hot semen shot from him to coat her insides with the product of their lovemaking. His vision went completely, blindingly white for just a flash and fizzled out into dazzling, kaleidoscopic fireworks. He lit up the room blue-white, like a beacon or a burning star. Then plummeted back down from those heights into her arms.

"Fenris?"

There was the hint of worry in her voice. He drowned her in his arms and his kisses and embrace, squashed her against his chest to quell the question before it reached her tongue. She sighed contentedly. There were no memories, but even if there were, he couldn't leave her if he wanted to. He would sooner die. Marian's name was written indelibly on his heart now. Etched into his very being, as one of the few scars he was not ashamed of.

"You said forever, Marian." he whispered against the warm skin of her back. "You will never be rid of me, now."

He couldn't be sure but he thought she smiled. There, in the effulgent bliss of the afterglow, she whispered back "I stand by it, Fenris."

They fell asleep, limbs securely knotted with one another's. He would wake the next morning to kisses and more fervor, but until then he had never felt so complete and whole.

* * *

Malcolm was gracious enough to let him return to living with his family. He didn't allow Fenris to share a room with his daughter as it was "unseemly" since they weren't married yet, though he did begin calling him "son." The implications were overwhelming for Fenris. To have a family, to be accepted - he never could have dreamed of such a thing. Idyllic is what he wanted to call it.

Leandra began fussing over Marian from the very moment he moved back in and gave her the news. He was not able to spend a moment alone with his fiancée or get a word in edgewise at the dinner table. She was going on about floral arrangements or hors d'oeuvres, or something equally inconsequential at a million miles a minute, when Marian's hand slipped into his lap and her lips perked up gently on the sides. He smiled back. That is, right up until he realized the hand's intentions. He choked on his roast as one of her fingers began tracing his inner thigh from his knee all the way up to...

"Are you quite alright, Fenris?" Leandra asked, finally pausing her barely intelligible stream of rambling. Fenris dabbed his lips with his napkin and nodded, Marian's finger found its prize and began tracing his burgeoning erection through his pants. "You look very pale."

"Y-yes. Fine." he stammered.

"You were talking about canapés, Mother?" Marian asked. Carver dropped his silverware to glare at her and Malcolm groaned audibly, even Bethany gave a quiet sigh. She just shrugged. "One only gets married once. Best to do it right, yes?"

"Exactly so, my darling. Now, the Orlesians do it right. Amuse-bouche..." Leandra continued.

Fenris didn't notice, because somehow, Marian's hand had found their way inside his trousers and began massaging his shaft, which was - much to his dismay - completely rigid and weeping at her touch. Marian somehow maintained perfect eye-contact with her mother, which was disconcerting, and even offered the occasional off comment.

"No, no shellfish, Mother. You know how allergic Barlin is."

Was this really happening? Was Marian really masturbating him at the dinner table? He glanced around him. Malcolm had adopted his famous "thousand-yard stare," Carver was rapt in his mashed potatoes like they held the answers to the mysteries of the world, and Bethany seemed to have fallen asleep. No one had any inkling what was going on under the table, least of all Leandra.

"What are you doing, Marian?" he hissed under his breath.

"Whatever I want." she whispered back, then turned to her mother and said "Yes, well you know how I love your devilled eggs."

This went on for another ten minutes before Malcolm pushed his chair back with a loud screech, stopping Leandra mid-sentence. "Maker help me! I'm sorry, dear, but you haven't stopped talking since lunchtime. That's enough for tonight."

Marian's hand left Fenris' smalls and she stood up to help clear the table, leaving him helpless and swollen. Carver saw the exit he needed and left without taking his plate. Bethany was left to clean up after her brother. Fenris stayed statue still, willing his bulge to disappear.

Malcolm gave him a suspicious look. "You do look pale, son. I can't believe it, my wife's yammering actually managed to make you physically ill. I'll have a word with her."

"That's not necessary." he said, turning bright red, which evidently took just the right amount of blood to make his cock let up. He stood and finished putting away the dishes. He caught a glimpse of Marian winking and strolling out the door and rushed to finish scraping off his plate and follow. She strutted provocatively toward the stable without another glance in his direction. He knew what that meant.

It took everything in him not to doggedly chase her into the stable and up the hayloft, but somehow he managed to keep his composure. They would have to be quick, before her family could notice they were missing.

When he finally entered the stable, her hands were down the front of her trousers, readying herself for him.

"Marian, what if we get caught?" he said, climbing up the ladder. Much as he'd like to try and be the voice of reason, he couldn't deny that the possibility of being caught was at least half the reason he was so turned on.

"We'll just have to be extra quick, then, won't we?"

His cock strained against his trousers. Marian pulled her pants and her smalls down far enough for him to access her, but not far enough that it would be a struggle to dress herself if she heard someone coming. Her luscious ass arched up, teasingly as she kneeled against the wall and waited for him. He unknotted his laces and pulled himself free without further protest. He sank to his knees behind her and used a pair of fingers to guide himself into her slippery center.

He shuddered and paused full-stop for just a second to savor her. He nudged her legs together to give her more traction.

"Hurry." she gasped. "I need you."

He did not need to be told twice. He began pounding her relentlessly from behind, his hands skating up the front of her stomach under her shirt to tease at her nipples while she touched herself. There was a loud, wet clapping sound where they connected and each collision pushed her forward, against the wall.

"Oh Marian." he gasped. "I'm dying for you."

Every now and again she would buck back against him, meeting his thrust halfway and it would send a jolt of pleasure through his middle. He was distantly aware of Marian's arm moving rapidly between her legs.

"Marian?" Malcolm's voice rang from the distance.

"Keep going, I'm so close." she moaned.

He continued to move into her, feeling the tension grow inside her. He would not be much longer either, though the threat of being found made him wonder if he could find release at all. Her breathing was labored and rapid.

"Marian? Where are you?" Malcolm again, closer this time.

"Marian, come." Fenris commanded desperately, and with that she convulsed and closed around him, milking him into her as they came together, quietly. He drained himself in her depths, shivering with forbidden delight and kissing her neck once more before dressing himself.

"Where is that damned girl?" He sounded like he was right outside the stable. Marian finished dressing and curled up comfortably in Fenris' arms. Malcolm pushed through the door, looked up and gave a sigh of relief. "There you are. I've been looking all over for you. What are you doing in the hayloft?"

Fenris' heart thundered in his chest. Malcolm was the perceptive sort, like his daughter. Would he be able to tell from a guilty face what they had done?

"Hiding from Mother." Marian replied evenly.

"She does get a bit carried away, doesn't she?" Malcolm chuckled. "Nonetheless, you should get some sleep. You'll be no use to anyone if you're up all night."

"Thanks, Dad. We'll be in shortly."

"Alright. Goodnight, dolly dear. Goodnight, Fenris."

"Goodnight." they both said. They listened carefully to the sound of Malcolm's receding footsteps, waited until they could no longer hear them sweeping along the grass before they both gave a mutual sigh of relief.

"Well, that was..._gripping_." Fenris said nuzzling her neck with a smirk. "I did not realize you were such a thrill-seeker, Marian."

"You loved it, don't lie." she laughed.

"I was not complaining, though between your father and the possibility of cardiac arrest, I fear your devil-may-care attitude towards our coupling might get me killed."

They shared a deep, longing kiss and he was hesitant to pull away from it. She was the one who ended it, eventually.

"I love you, Fenris."

"I love you." He pulled her closer against him, rocking them both in a lazy sway. "We should go inside, before he sends your mother in after us."

"Oh Maker, don't say that!" she laughed. "This is my one place of respite."

They climbed out of the hayloft and dragged their feet back to the house. When they reached the door, Marian sighed emphatically.

"What's wrong, Marian?"

"I want to wake up beside you."

His eyes softened and he cupped her cheek delicately in his palm. It had been on his mind as well. That day, Marian's smiling face was the first thing he saw when he woke. Nothing could compare to that.

"I will not be far." he offered.

"I know, but...I woke up in your arms this morning. I wish I could start every day like that."

"Soon, Marian. I promise." he kissed her gently on the forehead. She nodded, resigned before turning back toward the door. Fenris grabbed her by the wrist and held her in place. She glanced back at him questioningly. "Would your sister mind bunking with Carver for the night?"

A smile spread on her face and she led him into her and Bethany's shared bedroom. She silently crossed to the bed, stroking her sister's hair to wake her.

"Hey Beth?" she murmured.

"Hmmm?" Bethany replied sleepily.

"Mind sleeping in Carver's room tonight?"

Bethany sat forward and bonelessly left the room without another word, probably still half-asleep.

They got dressed and climbed into bed, wrapping themselves firmly around each other. They shared one last sweet kiss before Marian nodded off, but Fenris remained awake for some time more, watching her smile in her sleep and revelling in the sanctuary of her arms.

* * *

They woke the next morning to Malcolm banging pans together angrily. "Get up! Get up! Get up!" he yelled, stomping his feet on the wooden floor. Fenris jolted forward, wide-eyed and terrified.

"Malcolm, what in the world?" Leandra asked.

"Look at what's in your daughter's bed!" Malcolm shouted, pointing.

Leandra peeked around the doorframe at Fenris, a bowl of pancake batter tucked under her left arm and a wooden spoon in her right. Fenris merely waved, yawning and blinking his sleepy eyes. She sighed and waved back, giving Malcolm a tired look. "Dear, they're engaged to be married."

"But they're not married yet!"

"Can't you see how in love they are? They're inseparable."

"Sounds like a personal problem! My roof, my rules, Leandra! This is not a den of iniquity!"

"She's twenty years old, Malcolm. You can't treat her like a child forever."

"Oh yes I can!" Malcolm huffed childishly and stomped out of the room.

Leandra shook her head. "He's just being protective of you. I'll talk to him, darling."

"Thank you, Mother." Marian said.

There was a lot of yelling and arguing for a while, and a lot of it seemed to come from Leandra. Fenris had never seen her angry before. She was the reserved one of the two, but when she hollered, the voices carried and Malcolm shut up.

A moment or two later, Malcolm reappeared at the door, his head low and his shoulders rounded. "You can share the bedroom...I guess."

Marian leapt out of bed and threw her arms around her father, kissing him on the cheek.

"I do not want to hear any questionable noises coming from here, do you understand me? And you'd better be fully clothed every morning. I'm not ready to be a grandfather just yet, so just...rather...oh, talk to your mother. Maker have mercy, I don't want to know. I don't want to know. I don't want to know."

"Thank you, Daddy." she said sweetly.

Malcolm frowned. "You're all grown up, dolly. Soon you'll have no need for me at all."

"That's not true and you know it. I love you and I always need you."

Malcolm kissed her on the crown of her head and turned to Fenris with a short nod of the head, which he returned tenfold. It was a simple gesture, but it meant the world to Fenris. He was one of them now.

* * *

Marian wore a yellow dress that day. Her knees - dirtied and scraped from kneeling to milk the goats - peeked out from under the hem of her skirt. Fenris hefted a massive bag of feed on his shoulder and took a lingering glance at them as they entered the chicken coup. Marian smiled coyly and looked around her to make sure no one was watching. Then, confident that they were alone, she lifted her skirt to reveal that she wearing no smalls beneath. It fluttered back around her thighs and she blushed madly.

His jaw dropped and he had to lower the feed to the ground, lest he spill it everywhere. "We are supposed to be feeding the hens."

"But I'm hungry too." she said. She crossed the coup in a few lilting steps, rubbed herself against him and came close enough to his ear to whisper "Under my clothes."

He backed her against a shelf of brooding hens. Some of the fowl squalled and feathers exploded in the air. "The birds are watching." he gravelled in her ear. "I do not know if I can perform under the prying eyes."

"They won't tell, I promise." she gasped, as he fisted up a handful of her hair to expose her throat and scrape his teeth over the soft flesh.

"It is disturbing, Marian. Shall we add 'exhibitionism' to your growing list of fetishes?"

"Don't be paranoid, Fenris. They're birds. Their brains are the size of a grape. They don't count."

"Tell that to them." he chuckled, kneeling in front of her. He lifted her skirt over his head and feasted his lips upon the succulent expanse of thigh. Her knees spread to admit him to her secret heat. "I will never tire of this." he said, tracing along her slit with his finger, causing her to grind against it.

"Truly? It's yours, you know. You should give it some love."

His tongue delved past the curtain of flesh to her wetness, and took the first meandering taste of her. He groaned loudly. Her flavor, her scent was intoxicating. He wanted nothing more than to bathe in her. She lifted the bottom of her dress up so she could watch him indulge, and he made a point to stare up at her wantonly.

"I love seeing your face there." she said.

He closed his eyes and submerged himself in her, drinking voraciously from her clit. He sucked on it and every now and then allowed his tongue to flick through his pursed lips to thrash it. Her fingers raked through his hair and pulled him further into her. She threw her head back with pleasure and moaned pleasantly.

A pair of curious fingers circled her entrance, then slipped inside without a hitch from all the dew leaking out of her. He frigged her with them as he bathed her in his tongue and lips, eliciting high-pitched cries from her. "Just like that." she breathed. "Don't you dare stop." He obliged her request, alternating between pushing his fingers deep into her and laving his tongue over her swollen berry.

Her legs wobbled under a little, and he was forced to hold her up to keep her from collapsing onto him. A shrill cry of sheer bliss echoed throughout the coup and dozens of birds answered her call with clucks of fear, and it even induced a few chickens to lay.

He laughed as he finally withdrew from her. She knelt down next to him and began massaging his jaw with her thumbs. "For your troubles." she said, then pressed her lips against his, tasting herself on his tongue.

"Troubles? It is my pleasure, Marian."

"You say that like I didn't just gush all over your chin and claw your head like a primal beast."

He throbbed in his trousers and crashed his lips against hers for a devouring kiss that spanned several breathless minutes. He came away panting.

"You say that like those weren't my favorite parts." he grated, smothering her neck and shoulders in kisses.

"Fenris," she whispered. "I think we're being watched."

An audience of about a half dozen chickens stood in a lopsided circle around them, staring and waiting for their long overdue meal. Fenris and Marian both laughed riotously and pulled away.

"Paranoid?" he smirked.

"I stand corrected."


	16. Protector of People

Marian

By the end of the day, Marian was completely exhausted. Her body was sore from being taken so many times, on top of the never ending work that living on a farm provided. She washed up and then made her way towards her and Fenris' bedroom. Theirs. It was something that belonged to the two of them, and that very thought made her smile from ear to ear. When she opened the door he was already sprawled across to bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Hi." She said with a smile, as he rolled over to his side and patted the spot beside him, inviting her to join him. "Just let me get changed first." Marian stepped out of her clothes, baring herself to him. She saw that look in his eyes - the one he had several times already that very day, that warned her he was hungry for her. "Oh Maker's breath, Fenris! Again? Really?"

"I can't help it, Marian. You're a beautiful woman." He said standing up, planting kisses down her shoulder. Her body was completely swollen from their exertions before, but it didn't stop the fire growing inside her. She knew however, if they tried it would only hurt. She turned to face him and kisses him tenderly. "Tomorrow. I promise."

"Very well." He said, as he sat back down on the bed. Marian pulled her nightgown over her head, and just before she turned to join Fenris, something on her dresser caught her attention. Her contraception herbs, a glass of water, and a note. She picked it up and began to read it.

_You can have these back, I am not ready to be a Granddad. But for the love of all that is holy, I'd better not hear anything. I mean it!_

_Love, Dad_

Marian burst out laughing, and had to cover her mouth as to not wake the household.

"What's so funny?" asked Fenris, with an amused look upon his face.

"I bought these when you left, it's kind of how my family found out about us. Here, read this." She handed him the note and Fenris' stared at it absentmindedly before putting it down. Marian grabbed a dose of the herbs, and downed them with the water.

"What are you taking that for?"

"So there are no...repercussions from our coupling."

"Repercussions? What do you mean...oh. Oh, I see." Fenris said as the realization of the meaning came to his mind.

Marian joined him on the bed, pulling the covers up to her chest. She stroked his face gently and nuzzled into his arms. His grip on her tightened, as Fenris gave her a soft squeeze. In his arms she felt safe and secure.

"I wish we could stay like this forever." She said, her voice warm.

"As do I."

The next day they had managed to keep their hands off of each other, which was likely due to the fact that Malcolm had them working on separate parts on the farm that day. It left Marian suspicious that maybe he knew about their proctivities, but she was desperately hoping that wasn't the case. It was mid afternoon when the two of them set into town to sell their produce.

It was a successful day as all of their goods sold quickly. They set off back home with their pockets heavier than when they arrived. It was beginning to get dark out, the sun was setting in the distance, casting an orange glow across the sky. Marian shielded her eyes with her hand, and before she knew it, Fenris had grabbed her free arm, and dragged her down to a stream which was under to local bridge.

"Whatever are you doing?" She asked as her shoes filled with water, but before she could get another word out, he began to kiss her feverishly, as if he needed her lips on his to live. He nipped gently at her lower lip, wrapping his arms around her back, pressing Marian into him. She could feel his arousal pushing into her legs and she gasped loudly. "Fenris!" she half laughed. "Here? Now?"

"I hardly see the problem. You certainly had no qualms performing in front of chickens." He smirked, and grabbed her left breast, rubbing her nipple through the fabric.

"But what if someone sees?"

"Since when are you modest? If I recall, you also were the one who nearly made me climax at the dinner table." He nipped at her earlobe...her weakness, and she softly sighed.

"Oh alright. Ravage me if you must, but be quick about it." She smiled at him, and at that he began to unlace her trousers. Fenris slipped a hand into her smallclothes, lightly rubbing her clit, and she mewled with pleasure. He was softly kissing her neck, when she heard a quiet whimpering close by.

"Did you hear that?" she asked. Fenris looked up at her, as he still kissed her neck.

"Hear what?" he questioned, not a second later resuming his affection on her skin.

"Never mind." she smiled, chalking the noise up as her paranoia of getting caught by the town guards, or even worse, her father. Fenris slowly pushed a single finger inside of her and she softly cried out, grabbing onto his shoulders for support. The whimpering sound returned, but this time it was loud enough that Fenris heard as well. He withdrew his hand from Marian quickly, and pulled out his sword. Marian quickly laced her trousers up, and followed Fenris to locate where the sound was coming from. They turned the corner, Fenris' sword held high, when Marian spotted an injured mabari pup splashing around in the water, lifting a broken paw. He yowled when he saw them, and cowered when she bent over to inspect it.

"Oh, you poor thing!" Marian knelt down, soaking herself in the stream. "Shh, it's okay," she tried to comfort it, as she applied some healing to the pup's paw. It looked up at her with big eyes, and began to lick her hand, right before jumping into her lap. "Want to come home with me, boy?" The pup's ears perked up.

"Are you sure your father will approve?" Fenris asked, as she stood, cradling the mabari in her arms as if it were a baby.

"If I leave him here, he'll probably die, Fenris. We have plenty of animals on the farm."

"And this will be one more mouth to feed. He will see it as that."

Marian groaned. "I can already hear it now. How is it that you already know my father so well?"

"Perhaps I am just that impeccable at predicting the outcome of future events." he said with a smug grin.

"Is that so?" Marian asked, amused, as they walked side by side. "What's in store for us than?"

"You can expect to be ravished tonight. This I know for certain."

* * *

"For Maker's sake, Marian! A dog?" Malcolm's voice bellowed.

"But look at him," she said, holding the dog out to him. The puppy looked up at him innocently.

"Oh, no you don't. Those big eyes aren't going to work on me. And I'm not talking about the dog either. Besides, he might already have a home."

"Not a very good one. He was hurt pretty badly. What am I supposed to do, just bring him back to town, dump him there?" She said, the emotion rising in her voice. Marian always had a soft spot for animals.

"We can't take in every sob story you come by, no offense, Fenris." Malcolm said, and Fenris simply nodded his head.

"None taken."

"Besides, this is a mabari. They grow up to be huge! Do you know how much these things eat?" Marian and Fenris shot each other a glance, and she wanted to laugh a little at her father's predictability.

"Yes, but the mabari can also keep the coyotes away from our chickens. Think of how much coin we'll save!" She challenged him.

Malcolm seemed to accept this answer, as he sighed in defeat. "Alright. But the hound stays outside. Is that understood?"

Marian smiled from ear to ear. "Loud and clear."

After dinner, Marian sat on the porch with Bethany, as the doted over their new pet. Fenris sat on the bench and contentedly watched.

"What should we name him?" Bethany asked curiously.

"That's a good question, Beth. He'll need a good name. Hmm," she thought aloud. "Any suggestions?"

"What about Biscuit?"

"Cute, but he's not going to stay small. He's going to be a ferocious beast. Maybe something a little more intimidating."

"Might I add a suggestion?" Fenris asked.

"Of course."

"If it is a strong name you are looking for, Alexander means protector of men."

"How very appropriate. What do you think Bethany?"

"I like it." She smiled, as the pup playfully nipped at her hand. Just then, Carver came stomping out the door, Malcolm trailing behind him.

"I can't believe this!" The teenage boy yelled, turning around to face his father again. "She gets to do whatever she wants. It's not fair!"

"Your sister is a grown woman, you however, are still a child. And as a child under my roof, the answer is no." Malcolm spoke in a firm and angry voice.

"Just what exactly am I being brought into?" Marian asked, standing up.

"Go jump off a cliff." Carver muttered.

"After you." She said, venom in her voice.

"Your brother thinks that it is appropriate to invite that Peaches lass to spend the night."

"Carver, you're only fifteen."

"Exactly so."

"I'm tired of being treated like some...some child! I'm almost a grown man you know. I can think for myself."

"Know what I think?" Malcolm started, his voice growing angrier by the second. "I think if you don't get your arse back in the house and into your room right now, you're going to be in for one hell of a licking!" Carver groaned in defeat, and sped back into the house at an almost alarming speed. Malcolm shook his head. "I've just about had it with his antics. Maker Bethany, please tell your old father you won't ever be as headstrong as your brother."

"I won't." she answered quietly, still obviously frightened of his temper. If there was one thing Malcolm's children knew, it was that he was not a force to be reckoned with when he was angry.

"That's a good girl." he said, leaning down to stroke her hair.

When Malcolm disappeared back inside the house, Maran turned to Fenris who had an amused look on his face. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing. I simply like your father."

Marian laughed, admitting to herself that she too would not mind seeing Carver put in his place.

It was dark when Marian and Fenris decided to turn in for the night. Bethany had long since retired to her room. Marian poked her head inside, before leaning down to scoop up Alexander.

"Your father said the dog was to be left outside." Fenris said quietly.

"Shh. It's just for the night."

Fenris shook his head, as he followed her to the bedroom. Once inside, Marian placed a spare blanket on the floor in the corner of the room and set the pup down on it. He scratched at it with his paws a few times, before doing a circle and plopping down on it. His eyes closed immediately.

Marian felt Fenris arms wrap around her as he began to kiss the back of her neck. "Lay with me." He whispered into her ear. She shed her shirt and trousers, climbing into the bed after him.

"Make sure you dress before morning." he reminded her and she smiled.

"I'll have to wake up early to let the dog back outside."

"You'd better. I don't want to be put in between and argument between you and your father."

"Let's not talk about him right now."

Marian kissed Fenris, igniting the passion between them. His hands went around her back, as he undid her breast band and tossed it to the floor. He gently pinched at her now erect nipples, eliciting a soft sigh from her lips. Her hand found his erection over his leggings, and she began to jerk him through the material. Fenris groaned.

"You certainly are getting the hang of this." he said quietly.

"Practise, practise, practise. How else will I get better?" Her voice was playful, yet sensual at the same time. "Now get naked, my handsome elf."

Fenris smiled, kissing her gently. "You should remove these as well." he said, as his hand playfully rubbed her center through her small clothes. Marian softly sighed, and pulled them down her legs.

She looked at him with lust filled eyes. "So, how are we going to do this without the bed creaking too much?"

"Well," Fenris' voice was deep, and he ran a hand slowly over her thigh. "There are other things we can do to find pleasure." His hand climbed higher up her leg until his fingers were caressing her outer lips. Marian bit her lip, as to not moan. Her hand grabbed his erection, and began to pump him up and down as she felt a finger gently rub her pearl.

"Fenris." she exhaled quietly, and he kissed her neck.

"Is this alright?" he asked her, and all she could do was nod. Her eyes closed, as she enjoyed the sensation of his finger tapping away at her bundle of nerves. She focuses on the pleasure of his digit moving expertly, as she continued to masturbate him beside her. His breathing was deep and shallow beside her. Fenris trailed his finger lower, and sunk it deep within the depths of her heat. He moved it in and out slowly, teasing her, causing Marian to buck into his hand. Fenris withdrew his finger, bringing the moisture to her clit where he began to resume his previous minstations. Now that it was damp with her arousal, his finger felt even better on her.

Marian quickened the pace of her movements with her hand, gripping his cock tightly. Fenris groaned softly, his hips moving lightly with her hand. His finger tapped away at her and she let out a small yelp as the pleasure began to grow.

"Shh," he whispered in her ear, and that small act somehow turned her on even more, feeling his breath upon her.

"F..Fenris," she whispered. "Oh Maker..."

"Come for me." he said in his deep, gravelly voice. Marian bit her lip hard, as his words were her undoing. She could feel her walls contracting, as she gasped out his name in a seductive whisper. Her eyes were still shut, but she felt warmth emit from Fenris, as he came all over her hand.

Marian smiled as she opened her eyes, seeing a flushed Fenris beside her.

"I take it you enjoyed that?"

He glanced over at her, his green eyes focused on her blue. "Very much so."

"I am glad to hear it." She said, as she stood to wipe her hand off and put on her nightgown. Just before she sat back on the bed, Alexander jumped on it, his tail wagging.

"Oh, no you don't." Fenris said, not seeming to amused. Marian smiled and Lay back down, the puppy laying in between them.

"Let him. It's just for night."

"You say that now. But what when he is twice your size and still trying to sleep with us."

"Oh, don't be silly, Fenris." She rolled her eyes, and began rubbing behind her new pet's ears.

"I don't care for the idea of not being able to hold you. All that affection you are pouring over him should be given to me."

"Aw, are you jealous?"

"Hardly." he answered smugly.

Marian giggled and rolled over to her side to face him. She stroked his face and closed her eyes, letting sleep take over her thoughts.

* * *

"I thought I said no dogs in the house!"

Marian and Fenris awoke to a livid Malcolm standing in the doorway. The dog bolted from the room into the hall. Marian gazed up at her father innocently and he stared down at her with narrow eyes.

"Go find him, and take him outside. Now."

Marian got to her feet and out into the hall. She could hear Alexander's yipping from in the next bedroom. She walked into her siblings room to see a solitary Bethany in her bunk.

"Where's Carver?" Marian asked.

Bethany rubbed her eyes. "Maybe he's in the kitchen already."

"Carver out of bed before you? An unlikely story."

The dog was on his bed, chewing a piece of paper.

"Hey, what do you have there?" she asked, and the dog jumped off of the bed and ran back into her room. When she entered, he was cowering behind Fenris.

"Oh no, he's not going to save you. Give it here, boy." She bent forward snatching the drool covered paper from his mouth. Her eyes scanned it over, and she realised it was a letter from Carver. It was slightly smudged, but still legible. A hand went to her mouth as she gasped out.

"What is it?" Fenris asked with concern.

She shoved the letter into his hand. "It's from Carver. read it. Oh shit."

Fenris sighed, and handed it back to her. "I...cannot read."

"What?"

"I was a slave, Marian. Slaves are not taught such things."

Marian wanted to sympathise with her love, but there was a much more dire situation to be dealt with first.

"Carver ran away!" she blurted out.

"What, where to?"

"Says here he's off to join the King's army. That stupid, foolish arse!"

"What should we do?"

Marian groaned, feeling dread wash over her. "We tell my father. I can already sense that I will be deaf by the end of this morning."

"So can I."


	17. Promise

**Sorry for the delay, everyone. I've been suffering from the worst case of writer's block of my life. I'm not especially pleased with how this one turned out, but it will have to do in order to get this story moving again. I promise to try harder for my next chapter. **

**Oh, and there seemed to be some confusion in the last chapter about Carver leaving for the king's army. The Blight is not starting quite yet. This part of the story was inspired by a cut-scene in the Legacy DLC (/watch?v=ivtCiaU6PL4) between Bethany and Hawke. We decided to include that scene in the story. Don't worry, we've got time, yet. :)**

**Fenris**

Malcolm Hawke was in an unfortunate mood that morning, and he hadn't even heard about Carver yet. The dog was just the first of many slights against his steadily waning patience, and it was beginning to look like the world was actively out to get him, even by Fenris' observation.

When Fenris and Marian first caught up with him, he was in the yard, screaming at one of the neighbors - a tubby man who went by the name of Potts. Evidently, the two had an agreement; a dozen eggs for a gallon of milk, but now Potts wanted to change the terms as the demand for fresh milk increased, to Malcolm's detriment. Malcolm Hawke was not pleased, and those two had been going at it for a good half hour, without any sign of compromise or surrender. It was impossible for Marian to get a word in edgewise.

Actually, Fenris would have preferred to leave the uncomfortable situation in Marian's capable hands. After all, she was Malcolm's favorite, no matter how they both denied it. She was the best equipped to deliver the bad news to him, but she specifically asked Fenris to accompany her for moral support and he could not deny her.

Seeing that the argument was not about to end anytime soon, they decided to delay the inevitable and enjoy a few moments of quiet before the coming storm. They fed the chickens and took yesterday's produce to town, only to return and find a furious Malcolm having it out with a bored-looking goat.

"Er...Dad? Is everything alright?" Marian asked.

"Spirit ate my damned hat. Where's your brother? I'm going to put my foot up his arse."

Marian gave Fenris a knowing glance. "Hm. Good question. Do you know, Fenris?"

"Really, Marian?" Fenris sighed.

She laughed nervously and turned back to Malcolm, rubbing the back of her neck. "Ha ha. Right. I'll just...ask Mother and get back to you on it." Malcolm merely waved her off and resumed ranting at the goat, who continued to not care.

Fenris palmed his forehead and followed her as she swiftly retreated from the area. She didn't stop until she reached the stable, then slumped against the wall in bitter defeat. He dropped down next to her and took her hand in his.

"We will find a moment to tell him, Marian." he reassured her. _We?_ - he wondered to himself. _How did that happen?_ His level of involvement with this ordeal seemed to be steadily increasing. He supposed it was par for the course, when in love. If he wanted to share the good things with Marian, it seemed only fair that he support her through the bad.

She nodded and placed a kiss on the back of his hand. "I know. That's not what I'm worried about. Stupid, heedless Carver. I can't believe he's done such a thing."

"Don't concern yourself overmuch. If what he did to my face was any indicator of his abilities, he'll make a fine soldier. With proper training, of course."

"But he's not a soldier! He's not even a man! What if something were to happen to him? Mother would be devastated. I would be devastated."

"We all would, Marian."

"Even you?" she asked, a note of surprise in her voice. "Even after how he's treated you?"

Fenris snorted, one corner of his lips twitching upward. "He is family. And he will be fine. He shares your blood."

She squeezed his hand and smiled. "You're right, of course."

"Generally."

Marian laughed, climbing into his lap and raining sweet kisses on his forehead and cheeks. His heart began to beat out a fanfare. He wondered if he'd ever grow accustomed to her touch. Did she know how little it took for her to enthrall him? He suspected so.

"Smug bastard."

"Was that a complaint, Marian?" he murmured into her soap-scented throat. "I doubt it."

She gasped softly as his teeth raked over the sensitive flesh of her neck. Greedy hands fisted up the front of his shirt to pull him closer. "Never."

"Just as I expected. This turns you on." he chuckled, his palms molding around her hips. "Shall I put on a show of vanity for you? Perform for you like an enamored peacock?"

"Confidence is sexy."

"Mm. You give me good reason to gloat. However..." he tangled his fingers into her hair and drew her face close, then whispered "if this is your way of convincing me to tell Malcolm about your brother, you'll find yourself sorely disappointed."

She huffed and stood, straightening her clothes, but her eyes betrayed her indignation as a farce. "It was worth a try."

* * *

The next few hours of the day fell into a sort of comical routine. Marian would say something like "I think he may have cooled off. Perhaps I should go tell him now." Fenris would follow her as she sought out her father, only for them to find him becoming increasingly irate. Leandra burnt his lunch, Bethany asked to go on a date with that new boy in town, Alexander left a dead mouse in his boot, so on, so forth. It was like Malcolm was the victim of some sort of cosmic joke, and he still hadn't heard the worst part.

"You should just tell him, Marian. He'll find out eventually."

She tore at her hair in frustration. "When I see that little creep I'm going to wring his scrawny neck."

Fenris lifted a brow. He'd never seen Marian so terrified to speak to her father before. She had the man practically eating out of her palms most of the time, so her nervousness was difficult to imagine as well as probably misguided.

"Hypothetically speaking, if I were to agree to tell him for you..."

"Anything you ask." she interrupted. "Anything."

Fenris sighed. He felt like he should have foreseen this eventuality. "The dog sleeps outside tonight." She nodded emphatically. "No one should witness what I intend to do to you in that bed."

"Ohh. I like the sound of that."

Before he could think to change his mind, she pressed her lips against his forehead and said "I love you", which made it as good as carved in stone.

"Hmph." he said and marched across the yard toward Malcolm, purpose in his step. It couldn't be nearly as hard as Marian made it out to be.

Fenris found him hunched over on a bail of hay, pushing his hair off of his forehead and looking like a beaten man. He peeked up at Fenris as he approached and sighed.

"What now? The goats decided to mutiny? The chickens are on strike? Leandra's leaving me for a cheesemonger?"

Fenris snorted. "You are being dramatic."

Malcolm gave him a tired look. "Out with it, then."

Fenris thrust the letter into Malcolm's hand without gravitas and watched him scan over the page, mumbling quietly. Every now and then he could catch a stray word; "Marian," or "blighted elf," but otherwise it was completely inaudible. After he finished reading it aloud, he read it again to himself. He stared at the page for several minutes before letting it slip from his hand and float to the ground. He glanced up at Fenris, his face devoid of response.

"Excuse me for a moment." he said, rising to his feet and trudging aimlessly toward the glen.

Fenris' eyes followed him watchfully. He didn't know what sort of reaction to expect from the unluckiest man in Thedas, but this certainly wasn't it.

He didn't notice Marian join him until she slid her arm around his waist and planted a kiss on his cheek. He slung an arm around her shoulder. Neither of them said a word, just watched the head of the Hawke household as he lumbered through the tall grasses until he finally stopped and stood still.

There was a moment of intense quiet, the last shreds of sunlight falling upon the man in the field, the sounds of crickets waking to fill the air with their melancholy songs, the grasses swaying in the autumn wind. It occurred to Fenris that perhaps Malcolm just wanted a moment of peace from his hellish day.

That theory was quickly abandoned as Malcolm Hawke began to scream and yell profanities - some that Fenris had never even heard before - at the top of his lungs.

"Ah." Fenris said, covering Marian's ears with his hands. "That's what I thought."

* * *

It was two weeks later when Carver returned, clad in ill-fitting plate and chain. Fenris was sitting on the floor with Marian, massaging her back with the heels of his hands when he tramped through the door. Marian's head jolted up at the sound, confirming Fenris' suspicion that she'd fallen asleep sometime ago.

She seemed to falter for a moment with the sight in front of her before realizing what had just transpired. Then she stood to her feet with a chastising expression.

"What?" Carver asked, which was met with a well-placed boot in the head. "Ow!"

"Don't you 'what' me! Father was worried sick about you!" she yelled. "You'd better go talk to him right away."

"I don't have to listen to you!"

"Dear, what's all the...?" Leandra started, emerging from the kitchen with a rolling pin in her hand. She caught one look at her son and dropped it to the ground. She crossed the floor in three long steps, and grabbed Carver by the ear.

"Ow!"

"Not another word out of you! We're going to find your father this instant." she said. She marched down the hall, Carver in tow, yowling like an angry cat the entire way. Next was the sound of doors slamming, followed by two bellowing voices braying in succession of one another. Every now and then there was a quieter, pleading voice, but it was invariably conquered by the other two. This went on for nearly an hour, before a red-faced Malcolm appeared, shoving Carver ahead of him. Fenris and Marian gave each other a stupefied glance.

Malcolm deliberated for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger, then sighed and fixed his gaze on Fenris.

"I need you to train my son with a sword. So he doesn't get gored or flayed or spitted like a rabbit."

"Dad, I'm..."

"Quiet, you!" he barked, not making eye-contact with Carver.

Fenris did not know how valuable his instruction would be. He was trained to jump in front of blades for his master, which seemed the opposite of what Malcolm wanted for his son.

"As I may well have mentioned before, I was a bodyguard, not a soldier. My guidance might be...hazardous."

"Nonsense. Every man has a driving instinct to stay alive."

Fenris opened his mouth as if to speak and closed it again, measuring his words carefully. He didn't want to overshare, but his training took place over the course of months, a grueling process that stripped him of his individuality. No one needed to know the extent of his suffering. No one but Marian, and only if she asked.

Nonetheless, this was Malcolm Hawke; the man who took him in, fed him, clothed him, treated him like family. The request seemed rather small and insignificant in comparison to that.

"Very well." he sighed.

"Excellent. You can start tomorrow. And don't go too easy on the boy. No one ever died from a black eye or a bloody nose."

"Of course." Fenris said, making eye contact with Carver's defiant glare for the first time since he returned. "Have you a sword, yet?"

Carver thinned his eyes at him. "What sort of soldier doesn't have a sword?" he asked, then received a smack in the forehead from his father. "Ow!"

"Show some respect for your mentor!" Malcolm snapped. "I don't care what the king calls you, in this house you're one off comment away from me shoving my boot up your skinny arse. From this moment forward, when Fenris says jump, you ask 'how high?' You won't speak unless you're spoken to, and you won't eat drink or shit unless Fenris says so. Is that clear?"

Carver's nostrils flared, his lips fixed in a petulant scowl, his fists balled tightly at his sides. "Yes."

"Good. Now go to your room. I'm sick of looking at you." Malcolm said. Carver stomped down the hall to his room and slammed the door behind him, rattling the walls in the process. Malcolm turned back to Fenris with a consolatory expression. "If he gives you any trouble, just let me know. I'll put the fear of the Maker in him."

Fenris gave a polite nod and watched Malcolm shake his head and return to his room.

"This should be interesting." Marian said, lacing her fingers through his. He'd almost forgotten that she was standing beside him the entire while.

He frowned. "It seems unlikely that we will both live through the experience."

"Then may the best man win." She winked at him as she began slinking seductively toward their shared room.

* * *

Fenris was more than ready for the training to begin by the end of breakfast. Carver kept kicking him under the table, and giving him dirty looks. Then he "accidentally" dropped his glass of milk in Marian's lap. By the time his plate and the table were cleared, Fenris was itching for his sword.

He found Carver swinging his sword wildly at the air in the middle of the yard. He could already tell that this would be a serious and difficult undertaking.

He approached quietly and when he was in reach, he swatted the blade out of Carver's hands with his own. Carver spun around and glowered at Fenris.

"Lesson one: if your enemy can't see you coming, they can't kill you." Fenris said. Carver tried to reach for his weapon but Fenris stepped on the grip and smacked him on the head with the side of his blade. "Dead."

"Ow!"

"Lesson two: learn to choose your battles."

"So...what? I'm supposed to turn and run?"

"If you want to live to fight another day." Fenris kicked the blade up into his hands, gave it a quick inspection, then tossed it toward Carver.

"I'm not a coward." Carver said, fixing his grasp on his sword. He lunged at Fenris, who deftly avoided it, tapping him on the side.

"Dead again. All the best heroes die young, Carver. Leave honor in the barracks. Your enemies will show you none."

Carver charged Fenris, blade high in the air. From where Fenris was standing, it seemed unclear whether or not he was just training anymore. No matter, he kicked Carver's legs from under him, tapping his blade on the boy's adam's apple.

"What am I supposed to do when this happens?" Carver asked.

"You die with dignity." Fenris said sadly as he stepped away from his prone form. Carver frowned as Fenris extended a gauntleted hand toward him, and begrudgingly took it, pulling himself to his feet.

"I just wanted them to treat me like a man."

Fenris understood this better than most. He spent years being treated like an animal. Nevertheless, he did not see mistreatment where the Carver was involved. All he saw was a loving family, trying to rein in their unruly son.

"Your father is an easy man to please." Fenris said, no hint of derision in his voice. "He wants a simple life and a stable future for his family. That includes you."

For once, Carver did not have a retort. They finished up their sparring without incident and by the end of the day, Fenris discovered something in Carver that he hadn't set out to find.

_Promise._


	18. Trust

**Marian**

With each passing week, Marian became more anxious about the wedding. It wasn't that she had doubts, exceedingly far from it. Her love for Fenris grew with every moment that went by. She just wasn't the kind of girl who got excited about flower arrangements or wearing a fancy dress. She understood very well why other girls were full of glee planning every tiny detail, but her mother was beginning to give her a headache. Her days had been spent outdoors preparing the land for the winter which was a daunting task on it's own. Then, after suppertime, her mother would plan with her and Bethany for what seemed like an eternity over every last detail that Marian would never even consider beforehand. All that mattered to her was that Fenris officially became a part of her family.

Once Leandra would exhaust herself out and retire for the evening, Marian would return to her room and sit with Fenris, a book in her hands. When he told her that he never learned to read, Marian took it upon herself to teach him. She first started by reading to him, any old novel she would find laying around the house. Fenris would rest his head on her shoulder as she followed each word with her finger and read them aloud. Eventually she began to teach him the Common alphabet. He often struggled with physically writing, and would easily grow angry, but Marian was patient and collected.

This particular night she had handed him a children's book she found stashed away in her old belongings, as they sat on the floor of their bedroom. They had practised reading aloud together several times, but tonight she wanted to see how far he could push himself.

"And the lion...said 'not I, brother guh...ger..." Fenris sounded out the letters, following along the row of letters with his slender finger. "Geraf?" He adjusted his position to allow Marian to lean in and peek down at the page.

She smiled and gently spoke "Giraffe. As in the animal. The "G" here is pronounced the same way as the letter "J" is. A tough word. I promise the rest are more simplistic." She had hoped that this would not discourage him.

Fenris gripped the book and clenched until his knuckles turned white. "Do not patronize me, Marian." He raked his hair back from his forehead. "Giraffe! If it is pronounced like a 'j' why not use a 'j'? Why make everything complicated? And why are the animals talking to one another? Do they have nothing better to do?"

"I am not patronizing you Fenris. I am here to help you. Common is a hard language to learn, especially as an adult. Most people learn at a young age when their brains are growing. Do not be discouraged. If you want, we can put it down for tonight, and try again tomorrow."

Fenris ran a hand through his hair, exhaling loudly. "Forgive me. I did not mean to take my anger out on you."

Marian squeezed his hand gently, placing the book down. "It's alright. I can't imagine you're having a fun time of this, but, it will get easier." She nuzzled into his neck, feeling comfort in his strong arms. She heard Fenris chuckle lightly, that tantalizing throaty noise he made that caused her knees to go weak. He pulled her into his lap so that they were facing one another, her legs wrapped securely around his back. Marian leaned forward and kissed him, tenderly at first but soon it became needy and passionate.

"If all our lessons end up in this manner, I may find some motivation after all." he purred into her neck, tenderly biting her skin.

"Well then," she said with a mischievous smile. "I may have to start holding out. Give you a little more incentive to learn."

"Would you truly deny me your touch, Marian?" he asked, an eyebrow raised. "I do have a difficult time believing that you would do such a thing."

"Why is that?"

"Because," he said, his pupils dark and voice deeper than usual. "You are an insatiable minx." His hand found its way to her front, and he rubbed back and forth through her trousers, making Marian gasp at the contact. She could feel Fenris hardening from under her leg.

"I could hold out if I so wished." she said, her voice shaky, but even she did not believe her own words.

"Liar," he responded, whispering in her ear. "You yearn for me just as much as I do for you."

"Someone's gotten rather cocky," she said, grinding her hips into his erection. "Pun intended." Fenris groaned, but then she pulled away, shooting him a smirk.

"Do not tease me, Marian." He said, his voice holding a hint of warning to it. There was a tone to it she hadn't heard before, and whatever it was, she liked what it was doing to her.

"No? But what if I enjoy teasing you? You're cute when you're all hot and bothered."

"Cute? I will not be "cute" in a moment if you do not stop this."

She laughed lightly. "What will you do then, Fenris?" She leaned forward, capturing the tip of his ear in her mouth. "Show me," she whispered. Immediately, Fenris pinned Marian under him in an act of desperate longing. It took her by surprise, and she could do nothing but whimper into his mouth as he kissed her. He pressed into her, and she could feel his arousal. She arched her back into him, making a desperate noise. Fenris tore at her clothes, almost popping the buttons off of her shirt in the process. She tried to assist him, but he pinned her wrists above her head with one hand, and undid her trousers with the other, pulling them down along with her smalls.

"Fenris," she gasped, seeing his eyes trail over her naked body. "Please, touch me."

"You are not calling the shots. Not tonight," he said, leaning over to whisper in her ear. "I intend to have you begging." Fenris took one of her nipples into his mouth, and sucked hard, his teeth lightly pinching at the skin. The floor was cold beneath her, but that was the last thing on her mind. She let out a loud yelp as he rolled her nipple between his teeth. He pulled away and gave her a stern look. "Must I remind you that there are others in this house?" Fenris kissed just under Marian's ear, and she sighed contently. "Hush now, I've only just begun."

He pulled off his belt, and used it to tie her hands together, and left them laying above her head, He peppered kisses down her lithe body, and Marian squirmed and gasped at his lightest of touches. She found it oddly arousing to not have any use of her hands, and she was seemingly more sensitive. His tongue laved at the flesh beneath her navel, kissing down, down, but when he reached what she thought to be his destination, he began to kiss past one of her thighs. He bit and suckled her, bruising the skin as he went. All the way down one leg, then starting at the bottom of the other. When he finally made his way to the top of that thigh, she breathed deeply, waiting for him to pay attention to her clit which was the most engorged it had ever been. Fenris took a hand, and ran it gently up and down her folds, avoiding the swollen nub.

"Fenris, please," she all but cried.

"You will learn not to tease me Marian. It doesn't feel so good, does it?" he asked, the enjoyment clearly heard in his voice. He was obviously loving every second of this sweet torture. "Beg. Tell me what you want, Marian, and perhaps I will give it to you"

She bit down on her lower lip, feeling her cheeks burn up with embarrassment.

"No? Very well then. I don't mind watching you squirm underneath my touch." His hands left her folds and she groaned, desperate for his touch. She attempted to buck her hips forward enticing him to touch her, but still he denied her.

His lowered his face to lick her outer lips and she groaned. "Please Fenris, please. I want to feel your tongue so bad. I need it." she whimpered, barely above a whisper, her body aching more than it ever had.

He smirked before he dove right in. His tongue lapped at her essence, drawing out deep breaths and silent cries, then swept over her a few times, as he moaned into her. One finger teased at her entrance and circled it, then dipped shallowly into her. He sucked her clit, his tongue pushing forward to taste her as his finger moved in and out with ease. It did not take her long before she felt her release building, as he had teased her so much before hand. But just as she felt her inner walls quivering at the signal of her impending orgasm, Fenris withdrew completely. She gasped, looking down at him as he shot her a smirk. He began to blow cool puffs of air on her damp, swollen nub and she whimpered.

"I was almost there."

"I am well aware. Good things come to those who wait. Pun intended." he smirked.

Moments later, he returned his mouth to her core. Marian's wrists twisted in their binds, her legs shaking with each stroke with his tongue. She hoped this meant that he would allow her release, but once again when her orgasm was about to hit her, he pulled away, chuckling at her frustrated groans.

"Maker Fenris, I can't take much more of this."

"I think you need to suffer."

"No more, please."

"But the way you ache for me is breathtaking, Marian." This time his voice was soft and affectionate, as he placed a kiss on her clit. Her hips lifted towards his face, and he indulged her, licking at her with speed and vigour. She was beyond relieved when he didn't pull away, the climax searing through her with a force strong enough she almost lost all control and screamed. Marian bit down on her lip hard enough that she could taste the tang of metal in her mouth.

When she finally opened her eyes, Fenris had stripped out of his clothing, his cock jutting forward. It was weeping for her, a bead of moisture sitting atop the tip. Marian licked her lips at the sight. He was beautiful. He positioned himself in between her legs, looking down at her. With one hand, he took her bound wrists into his hold, preventing her even further from moving. Fenris sank forward, his member entering her in one deep thrust. Marian's eyes went wide, as he began to pound into her. She let out a moan unintentionally, to which Fenis responded by covering her mouth with his free hand.

"Do you wish to wake up the entire household?" he whispered in her ear. She shook her head.

"Quiet then," he said, removing his hand and replacing it with his lips. Fenris' tongue surged forward, circling her own. She groaned into his mouth, loving the way he filled and possessed her. He placed his hand in between their bodies, his fingers seeking out her clit. When he found it, he rubbed in quick, gentle strokes. The onslaught of his crafty fingers and the way he was thrusting into her had her sobbing with another climax in no time.

"Fenris." she gasped quietly, her voice shaky and filled with passion.

"Marian." he growled in her ear, before taking her lobe in between his lips and sucking. She felt boneless, completely unable to move. She watched his features, the way his cheeks were flushed with colour, how his eyes were clamped shut. She knew he was close, especially by the way he was desperately snapping his hips forward, seeking his end.

"That's it Fenris. Come for me."

Her words were his undoing. Moments later he spilled himself inside of her, grunting in her ear as he succumbed to the pleasure. When he came to, he undid the belt that restrained her wrists, slipping out of her warmth. He took her wrists in his hands, kissing them gently.

"Was that alright?" He asked, hesitantly.

She smiled before she kissed him softly. "Indeed it was. I rather enjoyed myself. I didn't know you had such a bossy streak inside of you."

"Nor did I." Fenris pulled her into his arms and placed her beside him as he climbed into their bed after her. He nuzzled her neck against her shoulder. "You are my world, Marian." he whispered into her ear as she dozed off.

* * *

The next morning, Malcolm informed the family over breakfast that he would be venturing into town to hire an extra set of hands for the next few weeks. Winter was fast approaching Lothering, and there was much to complete before the temperature dropped. Marian accompanied her father in town, as she had some bartering to do. Once they reached the square, Malcolm went his separate way, in search of a young man who needed extra coin in exchange for hard labor.

Marian went about her day, a basket full of eggs to try and sell. She hadn't any trouble, as she emptied the basket and filled her coin purse within an hour. She passed Lucille's stall, which was mostly books and odd ends. She picked up a novel, running her hand over the leather cover, as two women passed her gossiping amidst each other.

"Did you hear? The templars say they have a new lead on that murder in the woods."

Marian spun around to see two women about her mother's age.

"How do you know this?" she asked, unable to hide the concern in her voice. One of them raised her brow to Marian.

"Word travels fast dear. It is a small town, after all."

Marian was about to ask more but they were gone before she could think of something that didn't make her look suspicious. Her heart felt as if it has dropped into the pit of her stomach. She needed to find her father. She began searching frantically all over town, her heart thumping in her ears. Finally, she spotted him chatting with a blonde man who had his hair tied off of his face.

"Are you able to come today? The sooner the better."

"Not a problem." She heard the man respond. His voice was easy going and carefree, as was the way he was standing. Neither of them noticed her yet, so she stood and observed for a few moments.

"I'm afraid we don't have an extra room to put you up at the moment."

"Ah, that's quite alright. Met a lovely lady this afternoon that said I was more than welcome to stay with her as long as I'm in Lothering."

"You met her just this afternoon? Things certainly have changed since I was your age."

"You could say for the better." he laughed.

"Well then, problem solved." Malcolm turned his head and noticed his daughter standing to the side. "Perfect timing. This is my eldest, Marian."

The man turned to face Marian, and for the first time she got a glimpse of his features. He had honey colored eyes and a smile that spread from ear to ear. He proffered his hand to her, in what she thought would be a handshake. Instead, he placed a kiss on her hand, giving her another grin.

"My name is Anders. Your father tells me you need some help around the farm. I haven't been on any farm land since I was quite young, but how hard can it really be?"

"You'd be surprised." Malcolm said, amusement in his voice. "Let's head back now. You can show Anders around when we get there."

On the way back, Marian listened intently to Anders. She learned that he had just been in Lothering for a few days. When she asked where he was from, he shrugged and said he was a traveller, and quickly switched topics. She had a feeling there was more to him than he was letting on. When they reached the farm, Marian excused herself from Anders and pulled Malcolm aside the house.

"What is it now? You look worried, dolly."

Marian exhaled deeply. "When I was in town, I heard two women saying that the templars have evidence about the murder."

"You mean that murder?"

"Yes."

Malcolm's face was unreadable, and he cleared his throat. "Let's just keep this to ourselves for now. No need to worry the rest of the family."

"Don't you think we should tell Fenris?"

Malcolm shook his head. "There is no need to cause panic until we know more. Keep quiet for the time being. Can you do that for me?"

"I can, I promise." Marian felt uneasy about keeping a secret, especially one this big, from the man who was soon to be her husband.

"Good. Now, why don't you show that strange fellow around the farm."

Marian chuckled. "Strange? I thought you must like him if you hired him."

"I never said I disliked him. I just know trouble when I see it, and I'm going to have to keep a close eye on that one. You'll let me know if he gets into mischief, won't you?"

"Of course." She smiled, and headed back to the farm's entrance where they left Anders waiting. She walked around the farm, showing him the different animals and pens they belonged to. She noticed Fenris in the distance, fixing one of the animal shelters that had been smashed a few days prior when one of the horses became too excited. A hoof went right through the wood, causing one side of the shelter to collapse. Some of the shelters needed extra work on them, as they had received damage since the last winter, and they were important for keeping the animals warm in the upcoming months. Fenris glanced at her and she shot him a nod, then continued to show Anders around. She turned into Acorn's loft, stroking the horse.

"This is Acorn. She's my favorite, but don't tell the others."

Anders laughed. "Is that really her name? Poor thing."

"Oh shut it. I was thirteen when I named her."

"Did you just tell me to shut it? I thought we were getting along so well." He gave her a fake pout and Marian put her arms on her hips.

"You know, I do have two younger siblings. That face isn't going to work on me."

"Damn. Guess I'll have to try harder to get a smile out of you. Just my luck, the pretty ones are always harder to impress."

Marian felt her cheeks flush. "That's kind of you to say."

"I have to ask, out of sheer curiosity, but is there a special someone in your life?"

"You really don't turn it off ever, do you?"

"Nope. I'm charming like that." he grinned.

"I thought you had some girl you were staying with."

"Oh, you must have heard me wrong. I said I had a cousin I was staying with." Anders laughed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"I don't buy it for a second." she smirked, and then held up her hand in front of his face, showing off her ring. "But yes, there is a special someone in my life."

"Aw. It wouldn't happen to be that elf out there that you were giving the ole' googly eyes to, would it?"

"Am I that obvious?"

"Maybe not to others, but I like to think that I have a gift at reading women."

Marian rolled her eyes, and exited the stable. Fenris gave her a curious look as she walked by and she simply smiled back.

It was a long day, and she was much too glad to retire in the late evening. Fenris was right behind her, pulling her into an embrace as soon as the bedroom door shut. She looked up at him and could see there was a trace of concern in his eyes. "What is it?"

"You were in the stable alone with that man for some time."

"What of it?"

"Nothing. I simply find it curious."

"Curious? You trust me, don't you?" She asked, hurt laced in her voice.

"Of course I do." he said, framing her face with his hands. "It's only that…" he paused a moment, seeming as if he was struggling on what to say next. "That's our spot."

Marian couldn't help but laugh. "I guess it is, isn't it? Alright, I promise, I won't bring any men into the stable unless it's you."

"I am glad to hear it."

The two of them undressed and got into bed. Fenris wrapped his arm tightly around her, as he did every night. "Anything else of interest happen today?"

"No. Nothing at all. Why do you ask?" She felt nervous. Did her father cave and tell Fenris without her knowing? Why did this feel like a trick question?

"No reason in particular. I only wanted to know about your day."

"Oh."

"I apologize for my earlier jealousy. I do trust you, Marian."

She felt like utter trash. Marian desperately wanted to confide in Fenris what she heard earlier, but she made a promise to her father. Fenris was not one to give his trust easily. What would he think of her if he knew she kept something from him. She rolled to her side, letting out a deep breath.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just tired." Another lie. "Let's get some sleep, shall we?"

Marian closed her eyes, praying that sleep would come soon. When it finally did, she had nightmares of templars raiding their quiet little farm, destroying everything in sight. Ser Henry, her tormentor's father, stood over Malcolm's lifeless body. He turned to Marian, his eyes cold and angry. She tried to strike him with her magic, summoning her mana, but he used his templar abilities, rendering her useless. Her and Bethany were carried away in chains, and left alone in a cold room made of stone. She tried to scream out for help, but no sound left her woke up in the middle of the night, covered in a cold sweat. In that moment, Marian knew she would do whatever it took to keep her family safe. Even if it killed her.


End file.
